'Round the 'Sphere: July 29, 2005

[UPDATED 7/31]

Looking for something good to read this weekend *and beyond*? Let me help you out...

In the Headlines

The Brits are rounding up terror suspects at a breakneck pace today! Captain Ed has it covered.

Speaking of terrorism, PoliPundit's DJ Drummond has posted a scorecard of sorts on the Global War on Terror. Guess who's winning?

Also at PoliPundit, Alexander K. McClure points us to a recent poll showing that British Prime Minister Tony Blair's support is climbing in the wake of the London bombings. The UK sure isn't Spain, baby!

More good news, it seems that Europe is about to drift further to the right! Power Line's John Hinderaker has the details!

Oh, and Moonbats... you have my blessing to BLAME BUSH for it!

UPDATE: Van Helsing at Moonbattery has the details of a story that is certain to get your dander up!

Speaking of the Moonbats, if you are not up to speed on the latest shenanigans at Air(head) America, the liberal talk radio network equivalent of the S.S. Titanic, Michelle Malkin (who else?) has the goods! It seems that in order to keep their sinking ship afloat, our liberal elitist betters are stealing money from tax-payer funded programs that were intended to help disadvantaged children and the elderly. You really have to read this to believe it!

Michelle is closely following the story, and has updates posted here, here and here with lots of links to more bloggers following it as well!

UPDATE:: Giving credit where credit is due, here are the links to the man credited with breaking this Air America scandal story wide open, The Radio Equalizer - Brian Maloney...

Air America's Dirty Dough
What's Next?
Scandal Heats Up
Backlash Begins

UPDATE: BoreAmerica, a right-leaning weblog that is devoted to keeping tabs on Air America Radio, offers the Air America Scandal Counter for your blog!

Now, why do you suppose they would feel the need to sink that low? A hint might be found in this post by our old friend, Pat Curley. It seems that sinking low is a specialty over there - in all sorts of ways!

Hmmmm...

Okay...

I am trying not to laugh at the Moonbats...

Trying very hard...

Schadenfreude is not a nice thing...

Buwahahahahahahahahahaha!!! I'm sorry, I just can't hold it in!

Get Yer Ha-Ha's Out!

Aaaahhh! Let's face it, laughter is good! That is why I love this post at WuzzaDem, which has a very funny look at what the upcoming Senate Judiciary Committee hearings to confirm Judge Roberts to the Supreme Court might look like!

On a related note, be certain to check out Iowahawk's very amusing He or She Is the Wrong Man or Woman for the Court if you haven't seen it yet.

Steve H. Graham is a comedic genius! If you are not reading Huffington's Toast regularly, you are missing some real laughs - like the (not) Dick Cheney article, announcing his intention to run for the White House in 2008 in response to left-wing dingbat reporter Helen Thomas' vow to kill herself in such an event! Too damn funny!

Buckley F. Williams of The Nose on Your Face checks in with a Tri-Fecta of Funny! Top 9 Catherine Baker Knoll Past-Times, Ode to Ted Kennedy's Liver and Mullah Omar Answers Call of "Allah Allah Oxen Free!" That last one had me laughing at the title alone!

Ironman at Political Calculations has some keen observations on what those employee evaluations you get at work really mean!

And finally, Frank J. has a... um... unique take on the whole Valerie Plame affair at IMAO. Rubber-Eating Aliens???

The We're Laughing AT You, Not WITH You Dept.

This week's Judge Elihu Smails Buffoon of the Week Award winners (yes, there are co-winners this time) are posted at Ankle Biting Pundits. I can't say that I'm too surprised at their choices - they have definitely earned it!

PJ-Comix keeps on mining comedic gold from the DU DUmpster! It seems some of the mental patients there are almost to the point of open rebellion! This might be scarier - if I wasn't laughing so hard!

Howlin' Mad Dr. Howeird Dean is at it again! Pat Curley almost misses the best part of his latest foaming-at-the-mouth rant, but then catches it in the end:

"The president and his right-wing Supreme Court think it is 'okay' to have the government take your house if they feel like putting a hotel where your house is," Dean said...

Where do we begin? In informing Howard that Bush 43 has no sitting appointees on the current version of the Supreme Court, or in breaking the news to him that it was the LIBERAL contingent that saddled us with that ridiculous decision??? What a "supreme" asshat!

BTW, Pat, I've said it before, I'll say it again - I LOVE that picture!

And Pat also was the first one who alerted me to Jane "Baghdad Barbarella" Fonda's new veggie-powered anti-war bus tour! And no, this article is not dated 1969!!!

Quick Hits

John Hawkins at Right Wing News has a new ad all prepped about Hillary Clinton and her beloved hubby!

John Cole at Balloon Juice wants to know just how someone managed to burn themselves on a toilet in a Denny's Restaurant!

Picture Perfect

I love photo caption contests! If you do, too, feel free to check these out:

WILLisms - Will ALWAYS has the funniest photos, and this week's is an absolute gem with a whole lot of unbelievably funny caption suggestions so far!

Wizbang! is running a weekend caption contest, too!

And PLEASE don't forget to help me out with my own little contest while you're at it!

UPDATE: Be sure to check out OTB Caption Jam for more great photo caption contests!

Carnival of the Carnivals

If that's not enough, how about visiting some of the latest blog Carnivals, where bloggers show off some of their best (or, in at least one case, worst) efforts?

Carnival of the Vanities, located this week at Pratie Place, is the oldest and most varied of the many carnivals. It has posts on a whole range of subjects - a little something for all tastes.

Searching for a good laugh? Try Carnival of Comedy currently at Right Hand of God. This carnival was started by the very funny guys at IMAO earlier this year and now makes the rounds to a new host each Thursday.

Another of the best carnivals going is Carnival of the Clueless at Rick Moran's Right Wing Nut House, highlighting posts that put the spotlight each week on all those out there in desperate need of a good beating with a cluebat.

The King of Classy, Will Franklin, carefully selects 15 posts each week from all over the blogosphere and dubs them classy enough for his Carnival of Classiness at WILLisms. Are you classy enough to read them?

A relatively new, but very worthy entry is Carnival of Crazy at File It Under..., where craziness of all sorts is on full display.

No carnival listing would be complete without a link to Bonfire of the Vanities, which this week is hosted by Soldier's Angel - Holly Aho, where self-deprecating bloggers pay homage to their very WORST efforts! Just why the folks at Wizbang chose to saddle us all with this one, I suppose only THEY can truly understand!

UPDATE: Another cool carnival is up at Doctor Sanity, Carnival of Insanities!

Do you have a blog of your own? Are you wondering to yourself, "How can I get in on these carnivals and get my best (or worst) posts the added attention they so richly deserve?" Simple, just go and check out the Carnival Entry Form at Conservative Cat, which will also point you in the general direction of many more delightful carnivals, if you are so inclined!

Blogger News

Those peaceful, tolerant liberals are at it again! Will Franklin details his own run-ins with some wonderful neighbors! Boy! It is a good thing these people are so understanding and open-minded, now isn't it?

THIRDWAVEDAVE had a much more disconcerting run-in of his own! Thankfully, he is okay - but shaken enough to be taking a little break from blogging for awhile, and I can't say that I blame him!

UPDATE: Looks like THIRDWAVEDAVE is back and blogging again, now that the cops have caught the perp who threatened him at gunpoint!

Red of Scared Monkeys, a blog which has taken a keen interest in the Natalee Holloway story (to say the least), is heading to Aruba with Texas Equusearch.

Also of note, a4g, at the often very funny Point Five, has a new blogging home to show off! Congratulations! (Time to update those blogrolls again.)

UPDATE: Stop the presses! More blogroll updating needed for followers of Stop the ACLU!

Speaking of new digs, It seems CJ of VRWC #1 Member (aka "Capitalist Infidel" at The Museum of Left Wing Lunacy and "Rumplemintz" in our old Blogger comments section) is bugging out of Illinois and heading off to North Carolina! Good luck with the new place, CJ! It's too bad we are losing a vote against idiots like Durbin and Obama here, but oh well!

Your Prayers Are Needed

The Anchoress is a terrifically talented blogger and a tremendously nice lady who, for some unfathomable reason, seems to have absolutely no luck all lately in the health news department, and things just seem to keep going from bad to worse! Through it all, she keeps herself in good spirits and keeps her faith front and center - quite a remarkable lady! If you ever start to think you have it bad, please remember that most of you can't even begin to comprehend what it must be like to be in her shoes! May God be with you in your trials, dear lady, and may all of these dark clouds soon pass over you.

The Therapist is one of the most genuinely funny bloggers on the entire Internet, and normally a regular stop for anyone in need of a good laugh. But he is taking some time off, for now, in the wake of the loss of his father. The letters and comments of support he is getting must be overwhelming, but a few more prayers and well-wishes never hurt. May God bless and comfort you in your time of grief, good sir.

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Did I miss something you think is worthy of noting? Feel free to pass it along in the comments section! Thanks!

Caption This! [Things Are Looking Up Edition]

...So, I said to myself, since people seem to like it so much, why not try it again?




The above picture comes to us from an AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta via Yahoo! It features a moment from a meeting between new Supreme Court nominee Judge John G. Roberts, Jr. (left) and Sen. Chuck Schumer (Jackass-NY) in the latter's Senate office.

Care to try and tell us what you think either or both are thinking and/or saying?

This contest will run at least one week. Good luck!

PREVIOUS PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

Oh, Thank Heaven for 7/11 Edition
Fickle Finger of Fate Edition

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This photo caption contest is one of several featured at:

OTB Caption Jam

Thanks for the Link:

Marcel and French Frie

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UPDATE 8/3:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

New contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Caption This! Winners [Fickle Finger of Fate Edition]

Announcing the winners of the second ever Right Place Photo Caption Contest!

Thank you to all who participated. Once again, the response was very good, providing me with enough quality captions to construct a full top 10 list!

And now... presenting the top ten captions for this picture [from Reuters/Yuri Gripas via Yahoo!]




#10: I didn't say WE were protecting America from terrorism, now did I?
Will Franklin


#9: Joe Biden ups his national security credibility by demonstrating his "finger gun," to be used in fighting terrorism.
Evan


#8: We will not let terrorists change our way of life, but just to make sure they like us, we Democrats will pray to Mecca, which I believe is that way.
John the Trog


#7: Little Joe points out the bully who stole his lunch money.
Evan


#6: The cocktail lounge is over there, Mr. Kennedy.
THIRDWAVEDAVE


#5: Pull my finger. I dare you!
Crimsonfisted


#4: Last I saw your husband, Mrs. Clinton, he went that way with Sen. Lieberman's daughter and her sorority sisters.
Special Ed


#3: Sen. Biden indicates just how far left the Democrats would like to take the country.
dave


#2: Highlighting the central facet of the Democrats' plan to protect the nation, Sen. Biden, when asked, "What will you do in case of attack?" replied, "Run that way!"
Gerry Owen

And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...

#1: And over there is where the large white flag will fly to protect us from the terrorists.
spacemonkey

Bravo, folks! Bravo!

And, if any of you wonderfully witty folks would care to try your very talented hands at another one...

Presenting:
Caption This! [Things Are Looking Up Edition]

Enjoy!

Top Secret Democrat Party Strategy Meeting - Exposed!

The Right Place has obtained this exclusive transcript of a super-secret Democrat Party strategy meeting that took place sometime over the weekend in our nation's capitol...

LOCATION: Democrat Party HQ, Washington, D.C.

SUBJECT: Emergency Strategy Meeting Re: the Nomination of Judge John G. Roberts, Jr. to the Supreme Court of the United States

Senator Ted Kennedy arrives...

{Knock - knock!}

No response.

{Knock-knock!}

Still no response.

{Louder: Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock!!!}

HOWARD DEAN: (Thru the door) That wasn't the "secret" knock!

TED KENNEDY: It's me, you pinhead - open the damned door!

HOWARD DEAN: What's the password?

TED KENNEDY: Just open the door, you blithering idiot - I haven't got time for this!

HOWARD DEAN: How do I know you're not a Republican spy?

TED KENNEDY: Because, unlike most Republicans, I don't like the idea that YOU are our Party Chairman!

HOWARD DEAN: I'm not letting you in until you give me the password!

TED KENNEDY: Fine! (Sighs heavily) "Fix it - don't nix it!" There! Are you happy now?

The door opens. Senator Kennedy enters, accompanied by one of his aides. Howard Dean immediately hands them both paper party hats and noisemakers and quickly walks away.

TED KENNEDY: What the hell is this???

CHRIS DODD: (Wearing a stupid paper hat) Sorry, Ted. Howard thinks that this is what being "Party" Chairman is all about - just humor him. He's... well... you know - "special."

Senator Kennedy puts on the little paper hat in disgust and makes his way to the lectern at the front of the room.

TED KENNEDY: (Speaking into the microphone) People, can I have your attention, please?

The din in the room quickly dissipates.

TED KENNEDY: Thank you. I would like to get this meeting started now, but first, would you all bow your heads for the invocation?

NANCY PELOSI: (Steps forward dressed in a ceremonial black robe and holding a tambourine) There is but one "Supreme" power, and SCOTUS is Her Name! {Shakes tambourine}

EVERYONE: All praise be to SCOTUS!

NANCY PELOSI: Deliver us, oh SCOTUS, from the evil that is conservatism. Bestow upon us perpetual affirmative action, socialized medicine, gay marriage and abortion on demand for any reason at all and with no restrictions whatsoever throughout the course of pregnancy! {Shakes tambourine}

EVERYONE: Through the Courts alone, all is possible!

NANCY PELOSI: Protect us always from the original intent of the founders, from common sense, and, most importantly of all, from having to win people over to our ideas through the ballot box! This we pray in SCOTUS' Name! {Shakes tambourine}

EVERYONE: Amen!

Rep. Pelosi retreats solemnly back into the crowd.

TED KENNEDY: Thank you, High Priestess Nancy. We called this completely informal emergency meeting because we have a serious problem on our hands. The President has just nominated a judge to the Supreme Court. As you all know, as King of America, that is supposed to be MY job - and I warned him that it would be I who would anoint the new Associate Justice shortly after Justice O'Connor announced her retirement, but the son-of-a-bitch decided to ignore me! The American people will not stand for this... now we just have to figure out how to convince them that they will not stand for it! Any ideas?

BILL BURKETT: (Stepping forward) Relax, my friends, there is nothing to worry about! I have personally faxed copies of some secret memos once written about the new nominee by an old law school professor of his, since deceased, stating that he was incompetent, never showed up for class and was having undue influence exerted upon the school on his behalf by some powerful allies to assure passing grades. As soon as this story breaks, he will be finished!

TED KENNEDY: Aren't you the same bozo who got caught by a bunch of peons in their pajamas on the Internet passing phony documents to CBS News about President Bush's Texas Air National Guard service?

BILL BURKETT: Yes, but this is different - very different! After exhaustive research, I have made absolutely certain that the printing style and materials used to create these documents were widely available at the time! They appear 100% genuine! Here, have a look...

Burkett hands Senator Kennedy several pieces of paper.

TED KENNEDY: This will never work, you useless imbecile - these are all written in crayon!!!

BILL BURKETT: But Lucy Ramirez guaranteed me they were real this time!

TED KENNEDY: Sergeant-at-Arms, remove this idiot!

BILL BURKETT: (As he is forcibly escorted from the room) But I'm unimpeachable! Unimpeachable I tell you! Un-im-peach-a-ble...

JOHN CONYERS: (Giddy with excitement) Impeachment? Did someone say impeachment? I say we need to hold some more impeachment hearings in the basement of the capitol! I got to be the Chairman, and we had witnesses and some cameras were there and the people from the Democratic Underground came by and it was all just soooo much fun!

TED KENNEDY: Sorry, John, that is off topic. Save it for another meeting...

PAT LEAHY: Teddy! Teddy! Over here! How's about I leak some confidential documents to our friends in the press? Something from Judge Roberts' raw FBI files, perhaps? I just LOVE to leak things!

TED KENNEDY: I know you do, Pat - I'll take it under consideration. Speaking of leaking, you might want to excuse yourself for a few minutes, there's a puddle forming by your feet there!

PINCH SULZBERGER: Excuse me, Senator. As Chairman and Publisher of the New York Times, I can assure you that we in the media will do our utmost to assist you in your endeavor to prevent the President from appointing any conservative judges. We are already in the early stages of a comprehensive smear campaign against Judge Roberts and his wife and their religious faith and stand ready for further marching orders from the DNC!

TED KENNEDY: Thank you, Pinch! It's nice to know we can still rely on our allies in the media.

CHUCK SCHUMER: Yes! And we intend to stealthily attack Mr. & Mrs. Roberts' Catholicism by referring to his "deeply held personal beliefs," that will be the code phrase behind which we can hide from charges of religious bigotry! Say, where are the TV cameras???

TED KENNEDY: Sorry, Chuck. This is a secret strategy meeting, no cameras.

Senator Schumer skulks away, dejectedly.

HARRY REID: Teddy, if I may, I'd just like to say that we intend to demand the White House send us all kinds of confidential documents regarding Judge Roberts which we have absolutely no right whatsoever to see, let alone demand. We believe that this will provide us with a great excuse to filibuster him, pretty much the same way we did with Estrada and Bolton. And since we remain totally convinced that most members of the public at large are a bunch of ignorant dolts and the media will provide cover for us, we very likely can get away with this yet again!

TED KENNEDY: Good news, Dusty! Anyone else?

BARBARA BOXER: Yes, I would like to add that I believe we need to attack this President for not appointing a woman to take Justice O'Connor's place on the Supreme Court, because he is obviously such a sexist pig! And a racist, and a homophobe, too! Why, this nominee should have been a progressive-minded Half-African-American, Half-Hispanic Jewish lesbian midget atheist with a speech-impediment, and the fact that he is not is proof positive that the Republicans are bigots and hate-mongers and just don't care about people!

EVERYONE: Here! Here!

JOE BIDEN: And I think we need to keep saying how this country needs a more centrist candidate and how this President promised to be a uniter, not a divider! After all, it is a far, far more important thing we do, than we have ever done before! Ooh! Good one! I need to write that down...

DICK DURBIN: And I believe we need to play up his role in denying special protections to those poor boys being unjustly held and tortured - tortured I tell you - in Pol Pot's Nazi Gulag Wonderland down there in Guantanamo Bay, too!

The crowd erupts in cheers, jubilantly making use of the supplied noisemakers.

TED KENNEDY: Okay, people, okay! So, if we are all agreed then, our strategy will be to focus on his and his wife's religious beliefs as a cause for concern, always demand more information no matter how much we are given and regardless of the relevance or the legality of our request, complain that the candidate is too extreme, should have been a woman and/or minority to keep proper balance on the court and is against basic human rights for suspected terrorists. Any other suggestions or comments before we adjourn?

HOWARD DEAN: We're going to Washington - to take back the Supreme Court! Eeeeeyyyaaaaarrrggghhh!!!

TED KENNEDY: Could someone give Dr. Dean his lithium, please? Alright then, if there is nothing further, we need to meet back here again in another few weeks to discuss a possible filibuster... and next time - NO paper hats! There's something about all of us standing around in one place with little paper cones on top of our heads that is - well... somewhat less than encouraging!

END TRANSCRIPT

NOTE: I thought this went without saying, but just to be clear... yes, this is SATIRE!

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Thanks for the links!

Betsy Newmark at Betsy's Page
Bruce the Human Pet at Conservative Cat
Lorie Byrd at PoliPundit
Porkopolis at Porkopolis
Jim Rose at The Rebirth of Cool
Stephen Shores at Wild Olive Branch
Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade
Razor at Bennelli Brothers

This post is featured in:

Carnival of the Clueless #7 at Right Wing Nut House.
Carnival of the Vanities #149 at Pratie Place.
Carnival of Crazy II: Nuttypalooza at File It Under...
Carnival of Comedy 13 (on the High Seas!) at Right Hand of God
Carnival of Insanities at Doctor Sanity
Carnival of the Trackbacks XXII at Wizbang!

Be certain to check out more of the fine participants in these excellent events!

Tell me, is it even possible to score an "accidental" precision guided humor assignment direct hit? Because, honest injun, I wasn't even trying, but it fits! You can check out some more similarly themed humor via Precision Guided Humor Roundup: Attacking Roberts at the Alliance of Free Blogs!

Dishing the "Dirt" on SCOTUS Nominee John Roberts

It seems some of the helpful folks on this PoliPundit thread are willing to lend the Democrats a helping hand in digging up dirt on Judge Roberts!

DoubleU

As I understand it, [Roberts] was once late on returning a video tape, and when he returned it, it was not rewound!

Edward

Roberts' was two days late returning a law book to the library, so what if he paid the 35cent fine. It is the principle.

Justrand

DoubleU...look for Rove, et al, to coverup "BlockbusterGate". Their evil grasp is limitless!!

algonquin/allie

I heard he leaves the toilet seat up! Argh!

Ironman

We need to determine if he paid parking tickets late.....also, he may have dated a woman once and never called her back

JorgXMckie

I heard he sometimes leaves dirty socks on the bedroom floor.

So, there you go, Teddy, Pat, Dick, Harry, Howie, Nancy, Barb, Chuckie, et. al. - a running start!

But you know what's not so funny...

Dominick

...Roberts is Catholic. Also attended Catholic schools in Indiana as a kid from what I understand.

You just KNOW they are actually going to USE that last one against him in some way, shape or form!

And the smear campaign begins in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

"God, Scott Here. One to Beam Up!"

James Doohan, 1920-2005

Godspeed.

[Photo from Star Trek.com]

'Round the 'Sphere: July 19, 2005

A Round-up of some neat stuff that caught my eye recently from all over the World Wide Web...

Two of my favorite carnivals are up and going today (full disclosure - I am featured on both!):

Carnival of Classiness
Carnival of the Clueless #6

Word is that President Bush will name his choice for Supreme Court Justice tonight. Odds are, it isn't going to be any of these... but, hey - you never know. They were all apparently on the short list:

The Robo-Justice
Chomps - the World's Angriest Rottweiler, Part I and Part II
And my personal favorite, Magic 8-Ball!

From the More-of-the-Same Lame Plame Name Blame Game Flame-out (say that out loud 10 times - I dare you), comes this appropriate cartoon!

Speaking of the whole Plame "thingy"... does anyone really give a damn anymore?

In a related story, the New York Times is demanding that jailed reporter Judith Miller be transferred to the Gitmo "Gulag". I personally have no problem at all classifying most reporters as "unlawful enemy combatants," how about you?

On the subject of kerfuffles (you've just got to love that word), Reliapundit has a very "astute" list of all the Media/Donk/Moonbat faux scandals that have missed the mark in their never-ending quest to Get Bush! Did he miss any?

Glenn Reynolds Copyrights the Word "Indeed," Threatens to Bill Much of Blogosphere Right out of Existence!

Blogger Glenn Reynolds, better known as the Instapundit, announced at a press conference earlier today that he now holds the copyright to the word Indeed, following a prolonged but little reported court battle. The ruling, he claimed, was retroactive to the beginning of time.

"Anyone, anywhere who ever utters, prints, types or otherwise conveys the word Indeed, will need to pay me the sum of $5,000.00 per incident," spoke a grinning Reynolds between sips from a tall, cold glass of cocker spaniel. "Back billings for prior uses of the word Indeed are already being mailed out as we speak, along with various charges for accrued interest, court costs, and other fees incurred. We have started with the bloggers. I would strongly advise against any bloggers out there attempting to alter their blogs to remove any occurrences of the word Indeed from either their front page or their archives. My minions and I already have screen captures of everything any of you have ever published. Attempting to alter your websites will only result in the filing of criminal charges. Muwahahahaha!"

"Within the next few weeks," he continued, "We will get around to reading every book, magazine, newspaper and any other piece of printed material ever written, beginning, naturally, with the Bible. Churches everywhere should start taking up collections now, as we fully intend to bill you since God doesn't have any tangible assets in this plane of existence! From there, we will move on to television, motion pictures, radio broadcasts and the recording industry."

"As for everyone else out there in the general populace, don't think my spies can't hear you if you utter the *magic word* in your private conversations. You didn't actually believe me when I pretended to oppose the Patriot Act, did you? Psych! Muwahahahaha!"

"I would also like to remind you all that copies of my new book are available in the lobby. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I think I see a defenseless hobo across the street. Heh."

It looks like an awful lot of us out here in the blogosphere are in deep doo-doo!

Damn it! I just realized that posting this story cost me $25,000.00!

Quick! Someone alert the Alliance legal defense team! We need to file an appeal on this ruling, ASAP!

In the meantime, for all of you bloggers out there, I suggest we immediately switch to the use of Ind**d in place of the copyrighted word until this ugly business is cleared up! You know he is only going to use that money to finance his sick little penguin porn venture anyway, don't you? I'll be damned if I contribute to the delinquency of any flightless waterfowl! And let's not even discuss his depraved genetic mutation program!

Do you understand now why I joined the Alliance??? THIS MAN MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS! For the love of God - HELP US, before it is too late!!!

Instapundo Delenda Est!

Besides, in the 8 1/2 months that I have been blogging here - not one stinking Insta-lanche! Not one! You'll pay, you puppy swilling bastard! You will pay!!!

(NOTE: This story is nothing more than a filthy lie.)

UPDATE 7/19: It has been mentioned by some well-informed folks both here and elsewhere that the word "trademark" would have been more appropriate than the word "copyright." This fact is duly noted. So, I'm not a lawyer... sue me! No, wait, strike that...

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Thanks for the link!

Brainster's Blog

UPDATE:

Holy cow! Let me extend a great big welcome to all the fine readers of Little Green Footballs! Mr. Johnson, sir, I am truly honored, thank you so much! Hope you all enjoy your visit to my humble little blog.

NOTE: For some more laughs, be sure to check out the LGF thread, esp. the first 160 comments or so!

Thanks be to the Almighty Leader of the Alliance! Welcome IMAO readers! Thank you, Frank J.!

The cavalry has arrived! Thank you to the Alliance and its Filthy Lie Wrangler, GEBIV!

UPDATE 7/19:

Welcome Daily Pundit readers!

This post is featured in Carnival of the Clueless #6 at Right Wing Nut House!

Thanks for the links!

The Jawa Report (The Force is with me!)
Basil's Blog
Thoolou's Lair
Fistful of Fortnights
The Llama Butchers (Hey! A Llama-link! Nothing to spit at!)
45-Caliber Justice
The Jewish View
In Context
WuzzaDem (Oooh! I feel all warm and "fuzza" inside.)
What Attitude Problem?
JasonColeman.com
Stromata Blog
Plastic Turtle
Leslie's Omnibus
NIF (Another NIFty treat!)
Ed Driscoll
CaNN

More Filthy Lies (Thanks for the link!):
Basil's Blog

This post was submitted to Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks XXI.

This post is featured in File It Under's Carnival of Crazy II: Nuttypalooza.

AND STILL NO INSTA-LANCHE!!!

Caption This! [Fickle Finger of Fate Edition]

Since everybody loved the first one so much...

Presenting: Another cheap ploy for traffic, links and comments photo caption contest.




Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to caption this photo from Reuters/Yuri Gripas via Yahoo! [NOTE: Featured players are Sen. Joe Biden & Sen. Hillary Clinton. That is Sen. Joe Lieberman there in the background.]

This contest will self-destruct in approximately 1 week (the Democrat Party will continue to self destruct thereafter)... Good luck!

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Thanks for the link!

Bookworm Room
Brainster's Blog

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UPDATE 7/26:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

New contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Caption This! Winners [Oh, Thank Heaven for 7/11 Edition]

Announcing the winners of the first ever Right Place Photo Caption Contest!

First of all, let me thank everyone who participated. Over 50 entries were posted and considered. Thank you all so much, that is many more than I thought I would ever receive! And the quality of your entries was beyond all hope! (Incidentally, I informed my wife before she posted that her entry was not eligible for the contest.)

I'd also like to give out a special thank you to all of those who linked to this post. Without your help, this contest would likely have been a complete waste of time!

Out of all the wonderful entries received, I cut it down to a couple of dozen or so that actually made me laugh out loud when I first read them. I then whittled them down to a top 10, all of which are featured below. I must confess, picking an ordinal finish here was quite hard and I never thought I would need to award more than 1st thru 3rd places, but these are all so good, I just had to highlight every last one of them.

So, without further ado, I give you - the top ten captions for this picture from AFP via Yahoo!:





#10: You do the Hokey Pokey, and you turn yourself around, that's what it's all about!
Emile Zola


#9: With John Ashcroft's departure, Harry Reid displays the Democrats' new and improved method of covering up Mark Twain's private parts.
Evan


#8: Sen. Reid, flanked by Party Chair Dean, demonstrates the Democratic plan for the War on Terror.
Gerry Owen


#7: Harry, you drama queen, there is no God and you know it!
Will Franklin


#6: Stop calling Howard an out of control lunatic. I've spent a lot of time with him and I still have all my fingers... just don't get too close!
DON


#5: I certainly can find my own ass! First, you start with these...
Greg Toombs


#4: Argh! The sun! Quick, back to the coffins, Howard!
Evan


#3: You folks just back those cameras and microphones out of here until Mr. Dean's Ritalin kicks in, okay?
Axel Kassel


#2: Through the power of Jesus, Harry Reid finally drove out the demon that had possessed Howard Dean since his Iowa Caucus concession speech.
Sean P


And the winning entry in our first ever Caption Contest...


#1: Harry, it's the MSM! Relax, they're on our side.
SJJ


Take a bow, folks! Take a bow!

And, if any of you wonderfully witty folks would care to try your very talented hands at another one...

Presenting:
Caption This! [Fickle Finger of Fate Edition]

Enjoy!

More Updates to the Blog

It may not look like it to the untrained eye (i.e., the one that only looks at the posts), but I have been hard at work here over the last several days.

You may have noticed that I have joined the rebellion against the Instapundit Empire. I have spent a lot of time reading, e-mailing and playing with the sidebar in order to get caught up on this whole Blog War situation and place myself firmly on the front lines. BTW: The gun is loaded, first salvo to be fired shortly!

In addition, I have been poking around all over the 'Net looking at new and exciting blogs, which I have added to my blogroll.

Speaking of the blogroll, I keep tweaking the way it is set up. I have added a new "Regular Reading" section below "Daily Reading." I kept noticing there were many blogs I was frequenting that were not every day blogs, but were still multiple times per week blogs, and I wanted to put them in a more convenient place. Please note that I also frequent many of the "Politically Flavored Humor" sites and "Illinois Bloggers" on a regular basis. The rest of the sites listed get visited from time to time and are well worth a link.

If you have blogrolled me, but I have not returned the favor yet - it means I have not noticed the link. Please e-mail me or leave a comment calling my attention to the oversight and I will take care of the situation.

I have moved the Kerry SF-180 Clock to the bottom of the right margin. I'm sick of looking at it, most everybody else has dropped it and, let's face it, the weasel is not going to ever sign a general release of those records for public consumption because he likely has something to hide! I may decide to chuck it completely in the near future. For now, if you care, it's all the way down on the right.

I have copied and pasted all the comments I could find that got lost when I changed over to Haloscan. It feels good to have them back.

I have also added several flattering quotes that are lifted from the comments made on this blog and pasted them in the margin. They were somewhat humorous and a lot of other people had quotes singing the praises of their blogs posted in the margins, so why not? If you are a fellow blogger, and I quoted you there, I also gave you a gratuitous link to show my appreciation. I have also started a trophy collection space of a sort right below it. It is for "reviews" of me or my opinions from some of the folks who disagree. The one shown comes from another blog, but I refuse to award THAT with a permalink. (Trust me, the quotes are accurate.) Aren't moonbats fun?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to post the results of the photo contest, start a new one, and lie about the vile one. Busy, busy, busy!

More changes to come...

More Photo Caption Fun...

Be sure to visit Lorie Byrd's nest and help her caption this picture of three world leaders - two of which are NOT snotty French twits named Chirac!

Next, stop by Will Franklin's joint and see what you can make of this photo! Will always seems to find the best pictures for these things.

Meanwhile, there is still time to get your suggestion in for our first ever Right Place Photo Caption Contest. I'm closing it out on Monday, anytime after 11am CDT. There are some pretty good ones in there already, but maybe you can sneak the winner in at the wire. Care to try?

Instapundo Delenda Est!

This blogger has sworn allegiance to the Alliance of Free Blogs in the ongoing Blog War against the evil Glenn Reynolds and his Axis of Naughty!

I have added the required symbol to the right hand margin of this blog and have added the Alliance blogroll as well. I am awaiting confirmation to the post of Minister of Prisoner Interrogation and Torture Techniques. Filthy lies are forthcoming...

Long live the Alliance! Death to the Axis of Naughty!

Join us! Blog free or die!

Stress Relief Therapy for the Modern Day Conservative

You know, sometimes when the world starts getting to you and you need to turn the pressure release valve a notch or two to let off a little steam, wouldn't you just love to be able to...

Punch Michael Moore in the face?

Smack Hillary Clinton around a little?

Kill off Osama bin Laden and some of his terrorist buddies?

Subject the Gitmo "Gulag" inmates to the most inhumane torture imaginable?

Ahhhhh!

Admit it, you feel a little better now... don't you?

You're welcome!

BTW - If you know of any more nice little interactive stress relievers for right-of-center folks, feel free to link to them in the comments section! Thanks!

[hat-tip to Pat Curley at Brainster's Blog for the link to the MM punching game]

Thoughts on Joining the 10k Club!

Wow!

Your humble pundit is a little overwhelmed at the increased traffic he has received the last few days!

Not so long ago, this little blog used to just sit here quietly and go almost unnoticed. Heck, my biggest ever single day's traffic before this week was 530 visitors! That was set quite recently, actually - and I was quite proud of it! An average day around here is somewhere between 30-50 hits, and that's during the week - weekends I'm lucky to draw 20 - with many of those coming from me checking my own blog several times a day, from my Dad checking in occasionally (Hi, Dad!) or from random hits from Yahoo! and Google searches (including my all-time favorite hit: "Hillary Clinton nude"). Then yesterday, I had something like 630 visits (I'm not exactly sure of the final number, it was at 620 around 11:20pm CDT, the last time I looked before midnight came and the counter rolled over). Wow!

I actually stayed up pretty late last night. When I finally went to bed around 3am, the overall Sitemeter count was somewhere just above the 9400 mark. I figured there was a chance I might break the 10k mark today IF I was real lucky and could come close to matching yesterday's numbers...

Imagine my surprise when I brought the site up around 10:30am and saw that 10,000 was already in the rearview mirror - by well over 100 visits! Holy cow!

As I type this, I am at 1,290 visits for the day, 10,633 overall, and it is not even 6pm yet! Do you realize that means well over 10% of the traffic I have received in the history of this 8 1/2 month old blog has occurred in ONE DAY??? TODAY!!!

/SENTIMENT ALERT ON

WARNING: Warm and mushy stuff...

Obviously, I have Lorie Byrd [Byrd Droppings] [PoliPundit] & Pat Curley [Brainster's Blog] [Lifelike Pundits] to thank for most of it. But heck, I owe my very existence as a blogger to their help, nurturing, kindness and support! Thank you both so very much!

Thank you also to all the rest of the wonderful folks in the blogging community for your readership, links, comments, e-mails and other kindnesses. God bless you all!

/SENTIMENT ALERT OFF

I obviously do not anticipate seeing this kind of traffic on a regular basis, but good grief is it nice to see the numbers on that meter twirl like that - even just once!

But enough self-indulgent babbling, back to the good stuff!

Potty-Mouthed e-Mailer Gets Stuffed and Mounted at PoliPundit!

Will the Kool-Aid drinking, rage-filled, far-left bomb-throwers never learn?

It seems another immature little nitwit decided he didn't like something he read on a right leaning political website: Lorie Byrd's post from earlier today at PoliPundit.

So he asked her a bunch of questions. Nothing wrong with that. Happens all the time. Reasonable people can disagree.

But then, he stepped WAAAAAYYYY over the line by asking the following question of one the classiest acts on the Internet:

Who did you blow to get your job?

And dared her to respond. And respond she did!

Lorie actually answers him right here! Yes - THAT question included! And she is her usual classy, unflappable self! Then Lorie went the extra mile, she actually asked for, and received his PERMISSION to use his name. And he granted it... and then issued a veiled threat! Unreal! You simply HAVE to read it!

Then there's the folks on the discussion thread. Pretty standard stuff actually, good, but standard... until you get to post #103. From there on out it is a must read laugh riot!

If this doesn't teach the person in question to mind his manners in the future, he is beyond all hope!

WARNING: Swallow all drinks before reading!

Bravo, ladies and gentlemen! Bravo!

The Far-Left's Favorite Soap Opera: Get Bush!

I keep thinking I'm watching a very, very bad tv series entitled "Get Bush!" that just drones on and on and on with no end in sight.

It runs all day, every day, seven days a week and has been on now for close to 5 years! I keep trying to change the channel, but it's on EVERY channel! I want to turn the tv off, but someone snuck into my house and broke the knob, stole the remote, crazy-glued the plug into the outlet and welded the circuit breaker into place! I would bash the tv screen in, but the last 10 times I tried that, someone snuck in and replaced the tv with another one!

No one but a handful of moonbat lefties want to watch this piece of crap anymore, but no one at any of the networks has the brains to cancel the damned thing! I keep trying to ignore it and go on with my life, but it just won't stop running in the background, occasionally shouting out from the other room! "The world is coming to an end and it's all Bush's fault - Film at eleven!" But then it all turns out to be nothing more than another red herring and the press and the Democrats and the DU crazies all skulk away depressed that the world didn't end and they didn't nail Bush and they have to go on with their miserable, worthless little lives and can't just die and take everybody else with them!

I'm pretty certain the rest of you have been watching this program, too - it seems none of us has much of a choice since everyone I talk to has had the same problem getting rid of it that I have - but in case you have managed to disable your tv or live on a deserted island somewhere (lucky you), let me get you up to speed.

It is billed as a drama, but at times it is so bad, it is unintentionally hysterically funny (its only saving grace)!

There are quite a few villains in this convoluted plot-line. Here are some of the key evil-doers:

1) George W. Bush, President of the United States.

Oops! Make that pResident as it reads in the "typo" in the credits. It seems he is some sort of evil genius - son of a former President, the second coming of Hitler, leader of the American Nazi Party (aka the Repugnicans) and was born of the unholy mating of a chimpanzee and Beelzebub himself. Funny thing is, he is also supposed to be as dumb as a box of rocks. Note to writers: Pick one, evil genius or stupid cowboy, and stick with it!

It all started when he was "selected not elected" President after a very close election in 2000 that was decided in the State of Florida, of all places! Somehow, we are supposed to believe he "stole" the election, even though no one has any proof to offer to back this allegation up.

Ironically, he won every count and recount conducted, but his opponent, then Vice-President Al Gore, kept insisting that they count again and again until HE won - even going so far as to:

a) Cherry pick recounts in certain counties where HIS party had a clear advantage;

b) Continually redefine what constitutes a vote on a ballot that no one could clearly count for any candidate and;

c) Keep filing court motions to arbitrarily move back deadlines written into state law by the legislature.

He even called in the son of an old Democrat Party machine boss from Chicago (who was notorious for stealing elections) to help him out! And he's supposed to be the good guy! (LOL)

Well, finally, after like a month of this, the mean old Supreme Court stepped in and put a stop to Gore's endless recount attempts and allowed Bush to win - AND THE SUN HAS NOT RISEN ONE SINGLE DAY ANYWHERE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH SINCE!!! (Or so I'm led to believe.)

To make themselves look even dopier, the writers decided to have Bush steal another election four years later, this time by almost 120,000 votes in the State of Ohio! (ROTFLMAO!!!) How DO you steal an election by that kind of a margin anyway? Oh... right! Conspire with the company that manufactures the voting machines! What a bunch of hacks these writers are!

Anyway, all the reporters and Democrats and left-wing loons everywhere keep trying to nail Bush with one trumped up scandal after another, after another, after another - each time only to be frustrated by their own gullibility in falling for another red herring that fails to sink him! They refuse to believe (or let on) that those "scandals" were much ado about nothing, so they try to claim his escaping them is just more evidence of how truly evil he really is!

Now and again, they distract themselves by trying to pin something on one of his evil cabal, which includes:

2) Karl Rove, Senior Domestic Policy Advisor

Shown in the credits as KKKarl Rove (another "typo"?), he is supposed to be the mad genius behind the throne. A veritable Palpatine to Bush's Vader. He also provides a convenient plot device allowing the writers to continue to portray Bush as both stupid and a genius as they can claim Bush is never really all that ingenious after all - Rove is his "brain!"

It seems Karl has conspired over the length of the series to (among many other things):

a) Steal both of the elections;

b) Entice a couple hundred decorated Vietnam veterans to lie about Bush's 2004 opponent (the saintly war hero, Sen. John F. Kerry);

c) Slander "liberals" by accusing them of being soft on terror;

d) Leak the name of the CIA-agent wife of a political foe to the press to get revenge upon him (current red herring) and;

e) (I just LOVE this one...) Concoct a bunch of obviously fake memos supposedly written by a long dead Lt. Col. on an old fashioned typewriter equipped with, get this - an MS Word typeface, purporting to show his own hand-puppet was AWOL and a total screw-up during his "bogus" Texas Air National Guard service, and then pass them off on a major news organization and their prize anchorman only to later have confederates on the Internet expose the documents as fakes and ruin the anchor and the news organization, which conveniently failed to do the most basic vetting of these memos in order to protect themselves! Or were the documents genuine after all? I keep getting confused on that issue, they can't seem to decide which explanation to go with! Who writes this stuff?

3) Dick Cheney, Vice-President of the United States

A rarely scene blood-sucking vampire with a bum ticker who hides in a cave somewhere in Pennsylvania (shouldn't that be Transylvania?) running a shadow government designed to make millions for a shady company known as Haliburton. Supposedly, he concocted the whole War on Terror thing to make money off of mideast oil or something like that.

The writers sometimes portray HIM as the real brains behind Bush. I wonder if they will reveal in the last episode whether he or Karl Rove is the real puppet-master here?

4) Donald Rumsfeld, Secretary of Defense

An amusing old codger who annoys the Hell out of the press by not playing kiss-ass with them. He spends all of his spare time secretly drawing up bizarre torture plans for the innocent "terror" suspects, who are really nothing more than a bunch of poor Afghan and Iraqi peasants and shepherds kidnapped by marauding U.S. forces in their make-believe war, being abused in Abu-Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay for shits and giggles. Watch out, Ahmed! They're playing with the thermostat on that air conditioner! You're in for it now! Oh, the humanity!

5) John Ashcroft, former Attorney General

Written out of the series after a solid 4 year run, Mr. Ashcroft was the most vile of creatures, a "Christian," who kept trying to single-handedly destroy the U.S. Constitution via the "Patriot Act" so he could send his storm-troopers to break into everyone's houses for no good reason and imprison all good liberals in concentration camps for thought crimes. Somehow, even though he got the law passed that was going to enable him to accomplish his evil dreams, he never bothered to do any of it! His worst offense - covering up some nude statues with a blue cloth. Some evil genius he turned out to be! Come on writers - where is the pay off here???

6) Tom DeLay, Congressional Boogeyman

Cackled defiantly in the face of justice after failing to file the proper paperwork for some junkets he took. Our heros got all excited that they were about to get him good, but forgot that most of the "good" little Democrats in Congress were guilty of the same indiscretion! Curses! Foiled again!

7) John Bolton, Evil Meanie

The meanest man ever to sport a fuzzy mustache! Vile and wicked man who once yelled at a subordinate and must never be allowed to be sworn in as United Federation of Planets Nations Ambassador, or the Earth will cease to revolve around the sun and at least one REPUBLICAN Senator might cry!

8) ???, Supreme Court Nominee

And now comes the next chapter they are setting up - the fight for control of the U.S. Supreme Court - it is promising to be fierce and bloody!

Enter the mystery nominee... We don't even know who he/she is yet, but we are already being assured that they are spawned of serpents and possessed by demons, waiting to defecate all over our Rights and Freedoms in the never-ending march to the right of oblivion and permanent control of the Bush Theocracy! (Wait! I thought Bush was a Nazi? Oh, right! He's an ultra-religious Nazi! One problem - Nazi's are atheists, dummies! Oh, well! The writing never has been consistent or believable anyway!)

There are more - many more - evil henchmen. Any Republicans or Conservatives who show up are treated as though they eat wide-eyed grade-schoolers for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

While this show has been intermittently comical over the last 5 years, I find myself growing weary of the insipid behavior of the "Get Bush" warriors, who are coming off as crazier, meaner, dumber and more and more unhinged in every episode!

Could we please cancel this nonsense and return to our regularly scheduled programming? Pretty please with sugar on top? No? Well - it was worth a try. I guess I'll get out the old baseball bat and give the tv another good whacking. It might buy me at least one night of peace and quiet before they forcibly replace it on me again!

Ciao ciao for now, fellow Americans! Be sure to keep your pretty little tin-foil hats handy... and please, whatever you do, don't drink the Kool-Aid!

******************************

Welcome once again to all my friends from PoliPundit! {Cue broken record:} Thanks, Lorie!

UPDATE 7/13:

Welcome also to all my fellow loyal readers of Ankle Biting Pundits and {Cue another broken record:} Thanks once again, Pat (aka Brainster)!

Thanks for the link:

Banana Oil!
God-is.mine

This post was submitted to the following blog features:

Wizbang's Carnival of the Trackbacks XX
Basil's Blog Brunch: 7/16/2005

UPDATE 7/19:

This post is featured in Carnival of the Clueless #6 at Right Wing Nut House!

This post has been certified "classy" by Will Franklin's Carnival of Classiness...!

Thanks for the link:

Fred Fry International
Now That's Ironic

UPDATE 7/21:

This post is featured in Carnival of Comedy 12 at This Blog Is Full of Crap!

MSM Feeding Frenzy on Karl Rove "Outs" Valerie Plame Meme Begins - Another Red Herring for the Blue Press?

Personally, I don't think too much of this latest MSM/Donk feeding frenzy. The left gets itself all worked up about one Bush-related "scandal" or another on such a regular basis only to have nothing come of it, it is really quite comical! Another tempest in the Internet teapot has been brewing for awhile over Karl Rove's involvement in the whole Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame/Robert Novak affair.

More recently, the MSM has detected the faintest hint of GOP blood in the water, so look out - here come the sharks!

Anyone wishing to wager on this amounting to very much had better not put the deed to the family farm down on the velvet table just yet. If you ask me, it's Act 8,963 of Much Ado About Nothing!

Inspite of that, or perhaps because of it, you have to read Lorie Byrd's fantastic PoliPundit piece Big Tough Guys With Perfectly Coifed Hair! She manages to smack some of the more rude and crude members of the obnoxious MSM around quite nicely, thank you.

Within the discussion thread, the fur is flying, as the usual suspects (and some new ones, too) have emerged from beneath their DU rocks to stir up trouble... and are being beaten senseless again by the PoliPundit troll-killers - too funny! Anyway, all I have to say on the subject for the time being, I said in that thread:

Comments #5 & 6:

Yawn!

Wake me up when this MSM/Donk feeding frenzy is over!

This story is only slightly less lame than Gannon/Guckert or the Downing Street Memo.

Hellacious noise from the far left, no “there” there. Ho hum.

Before the trolls get started, please remember how “important” you, the media and your Democrat friends thought the Sandy Burglar story was. Or the trashing of the White House and related office building by outgoing Clintonistas. And gee, what is that story Jayson linked to tonight… something about Gov. Richardson and Wen Ho Lee? Better watch those throwing stones, folks…

Oh, and let us not forget the NYT expose on the secret CIA flights used to move terror prisoners around! Somehow, I think that leak was a little more damaging!

Comment # 127:

Hey trolls:

1) Rove did not mention Plame by name.

2) She was NOT a field agent at the time, had not been one for YEARS.

3) She had been outed years ago. Hard to out someone who is already out!

4) Her CIA position was common knowledge among the DC cocktail party crowd, including many, many reporters.

5) She appeared with her husband on the cover a magazine for crying out loud! Some “secret” agent!

6) Wilson was in the process of attempting to smear the administration. Oops! Better not counter his B.S., you might risk “outing” his super secret agent wife! (LOL)

7) Do you REALLY think Judith Miller and the NYT are going to bend over backwards to protect (evil music swells) KARL ROVE???

8) You are all upset about this “crime” relating to “national security” but have nothing at all to say at all about Sandy Burglar sneaking classified documents out of the National Archives in his pants and destroying a number of them!

Boy, that is an awful lot of crap you need to ignore to find this story compelling, don’t you think?

Keep it up, guys! A lot of us here truly love the comic relief!

And, hey! That last one got yours truly a featured spot on the Anchoress!

{Bows gracefully} Thank you! Thank you, very much!

Caption This! [Oh, Thank Heaven for 7/11 Edition]

Announcing the first ever Right Place photo caption contest!



This photo from AFP via Yahoo! just cries out for the caption treatment, so let's give it what it deserves!

This IS a competition. I WILL be naming a winner, so do your best (or worst) and please leave a name, e-mail and homepage so you may bask in the warm, sweet glow of your victory! This contest will remain open for at least a few days, and I will give fair warning before I decide to end it until 11am CDT Mon. 7/18/05. Good luck!

******************************

UPDATE:

Welcome PoliPundit readers! And a sincere thank you to the great Lorie Byrd for the link! [Make sure you click on the "Lorie Byrd" link to see some more great caption ideas that were posted over there!] [NOTE: Unique captions from PoliPundit thread copied into comments section as of 7/13, but please visit PoliPundit anyway (click first link) - best site on the whole damned Internet!]

UPDATE 7/12:

Welcome inmates of Rick Moran's Right Wing Nut House! This post is a proud participant in Carnival of the Clueless #5 and both individuals pictured above most certainly qualify as clueless!

Howie and Harry had "Post" cereal for Breakfast this morning at Basil's Blog.

Wow! Welcome Ankle Biters! A great big thank you to Pat Curley of Brainster's Blog for the link from high atop his guest perch at Ankle Biting Pundits! I am truly honored!

UPDATE 7/13:

Welcome readers of Betsy's Page! Hope you enjoy your visit! Thank you, Betsy Newmark!

UPDATE 7/15:
Howie and Harry are excited to be part of Carnival of Comedy 11 at IMAO! All hail spacemonkey!

Thanks for the links:

Cheat-Seeking Missiles
Bookworm Room

******************************

UPDATE 7/18:

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

Our new contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

'Round the 'Sphere: July 11, 2005

As I continue to suffer from an awful bout with writer's block (someone PLEASE stick a microphone in front of Howard Dean), let me point you to some others who are not currently so afflicted. After all, I can still read...

Our good friend and munificent benefactor Pat Curley of Brainster's Blog and Lifelike Pundits, is guest blogging over at Ankle Biting Pundits this week. Be certain to check him out, especially this gem about the Democrats and their confusion over their own core values! (Not that you aren't already reading all of those wonderful blogs anyway. You are reading them regularly - aren't you?)

Speaking of Pat, if you are a blogger and need some pointers on trackbacks, Pat had a terrific "how to" post this past weekend. I had to laugh as soon as I started to read it due to the fact that I was already in the process of switching to Haloscan, just as he recommends! The post was in response to a call for help from a relatively new, and quite good blogger, THIRDWAVEDAVE, who has a GREAT Lincoln quote on his masthead. Senator Dick Durbin (Moonbat-al Jazeera), who likes to quote Lincoln, should take note!

UPDATE: Stupid me should have added this advice on trackbacks, for those interested:

1) For those who do not want to switch to Haloscan and have no other way of pinging other blogs, the great folks over at Wizbang! came up with this handy Standalone Trackback Pinger, which I had been using for awhile. It won't enable you to RECEIVE trackbacks, but you can put them out there and draw some extra traffic with this!

2) I am almost certainly the originator of the innovative "Manual Trackback," as I have yet to see anyone else use it, at least not in the same manner that I do. It comes in handy for use at sites that allow comments, but not trackbacks (like Ankle Biting Pundits or Red State, e.g.). All you have to do is to enter a comment and insert the html link code for your own post. I use the words "Manual Trackback" so that people know my post is on the same subject. The title of the post, name of the blog and an excerpt are good to include if you opt to use this method.

In other guest blogger news, be certain to check out the always brilliant Will Franklin from WILLisms at Wizbang!

Are you tired of all those stupid liberal trolls and their insipid talking points about how Bush and company have lied about anything and everything to do with Iraq? You'll want to bookmark this great debunking of their load of horsecrap from John Hawkins at his indispensable blog, Right Wing News! Oh, look, he's sharing some of the love letters he's gotten from some peace loving, tolerant liberals! BTW, are you checking out his Conservative Grapevine on a daily basis yet? Great stuff!

Lorie Byrd at PoliPundit gets the hat-tip for pointing us to this "Hillary-ous" musical cartoon!

I also need to hat-tip Lorie for this link to Betsy's Page and a neat photo caption contest. I'm quite proud of my own entry, see if you can beat it!

Ace of Spades has obtained a copy of the new James Bond script... as drafted by the a**holes of the far left! Ugh!

And last, but by no means least, a4g, at his often hysterically funny (and deserving of a much larger readership) Point Five blog, has the scoop on Bush's ideal compromise candidate to replace Sandra Day O'Connor on the SCOTUS!

State of the Blog

I have initiated some long-intended changes to the Right Place over the last few days.

You will probably notice the flag image in the post below, which is the first ever picture or image featured on this page. This is due to my finally obtaining some free photo hosting for this site. Appropriately enough, the very first image is intended as a show of solidarity with our British brethren following the horrific events there last Thursday. Please keep them in your prayers. I will probably not feature very many photos or other images, but it is nice to have the option to do so occasionally, when warranted.

I have, as I often do, added some new content to the links area in the right margin. Please feel free to check some of them out, as many fine blogs and resources are featured there. More will be added as I see fit. If you have a blog that links here and is not on my blogroll, please let me know about it. I am always looking for great new blogs to read and link to, and a great way to catch my attention is, of course, to link to me!

The biggest change so far is the change over to Haloscan for all future comments. This will make commenting on the site much easier, as you no longer must be registered with Blogger to comment. It also will allow for trackbacks, something which Blogger is incapable of doing on its own. The one drawback is that all past comments are now "hidden," though I do have them archived on my hard drive as well as in Blogger's memory. Seeing as how there were so few of them, it seems a small price to pay as I seek to make this blog more user friendly for the future!

All comments are welcome, as long as they are not patently obscene or abusive. I will retain the right to delete or alter offensive comments as I deem appropriate. I also now have the ability to ban people from posting. It is a power I am hoping to NEVER feel the need to use.

More changes are coming soon. I am trying to develop some ideas for regular features and trying to find ways to keep the site fresher with more frequent content updates in the future, but I must ask for your patience in the short-term.

Thank you for visiting the Right Place!

United We Stand

God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.

O Lord, our God, arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall.
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On thee our hopes we fix:
God save the Queen.

Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen.

God Save the Queen lyrics from Wikipedia.
Flag image from Are You Conservative?.

London Bombed - Multiple Coordinated Attacks Leave Dozens Dead, Scores Injured

The good people of England suffered a horrific attack on the mass transit system in their largest metropolis this morning during the height of rush hour. Just who is responsible is not yet known for certain, but the attacks have the foul stench of al-Qaeda all over them!

The latest reports put the number of explosions at 4 (3 in the subway system, 1 on a double-decker bus), with at least 37 people dead and over 700 wounded.

Queen Elizabeth II ordered the Union Jack lowered to half-mast at Buckingham Palace.

The U.N. Security Council quickly passed a unanimous resolution condemning the attacks and urging all nations to help bring the perpetrators to justice.

The G-8 leaders, including President Bush, who are currently attending a summit in nearby Scotland, also angrily condemned the attacks. It is believed by many that the timing of the attacks may have been intended to coincide with the G-8 conference:

Bush later told reporters that the people of London have America's "heartfelt condolences" and said he appreciates Blair's steadfast determination and strength.

"He'll carry a message of solidarity with him" as he leaves the G-8 summit for London, Bush added. "I was most impressed by the resolve of all the [G-8] leaders in the room and that their resolve is as strong as my resolve. ... We will not yield to the terrorists. We will find them; we will bring them to justice."

Bush said there's a clear contrast between the work being done at the G-8 summit and the goals of the terrorists responsible, "those who've got such evil in their heart that they will take the lives of innocent folks."

"The War on Terror goes on," he added.

U.K. Prime Minister Tony Blair spoke eloquently (as always) in a televised address from the summit:

"It's important ... that those engaged in terrorism realize that our determination to defend our values and our way of life is greater than their determination to cause death and destruction to innocent people and a desire to impose extremism on the world," a clearly shaken Blair told the world.

"Whatever they do, it is our determination that they will never succeed destroying what we hold dear in this country and in other civilizations in the world."

An unknown al-Qaeda cell, "Secret Group of Al Qaeda's Jihad in Europe," has claimed responsibility, but nothing has yet been confirmed by authorities.

In an abundance of caution, American officials have raised the Terror Alert level to orange for U.S. mass-transit systems in the wake of the bombings:

"The United States government is raising the threat level from code yellow to orange, targeted only to the mass transit portion of the transportation sector," Homeland Security Michael Chertoff said in an afternoon press conference.

While there was no credible information indicating an attack in the United States, Chertoff added that, "we know the tactics and methods of terrorists, as demonstrated by the terrorist attacks last year in Madrid."

May God bless the people of London in this time of tragedy. May He comfort those who suffer, console those who mourn the loss of loved ones and open the gates of Heaven to all those innocent who have been lost.

As to those responsible, may you be faced with swift justice for your unspeakable crimes and may God show no mercy whatsoever to your dark, worthless souls!

******************************

MORE:

LaShawn Barber
Terror in London!

Captain's Quarters
Al Qaeda Bombs London
We Are All Britons Today
Calling London

Gateway Pundit
Bombs in London!
World Reaction to British Bombings

Instapundit
Bombings in London

The Jawa Report
London Underground Explosions
Howie's Roundup London, Seal and Orange Alert

The Limburg Letter
Get Angry

Michelle Malkin
Breaking News: Terrorist Attack in London
The 7/7 Attacks in Britain: Photos
The 7/7 Attacks: Who Did It?
The 7/7 Attacks: Looking Homeward
The 7/7 Attacks: Unity
The 7/7 Attacks: DHS Responds
The 7/7 Attacks: Hitchens vs. Moonbats
The 7/7 Attacks: Britain's Breeding Ground for Suicide Bombers
The 7/7 Attacks: Who Did It? Pt. II

Mudville Gazette
London

PoliPundit
Early Thoughts About the Attacks in London
Only One Time
Why Not Here?
Fighting Spirit

Power Line
Charmaine Yoest reports from London

Right Wing News
London Bombing News

Scared Monkeys
London Bombings

WILLisms
Tony Blair's George W. Bush Moment

Wizbang!
London Bombing Updates
Two More Bombs?

Tim Worstall has an excellent round-up
Terrorist Bombs in London
[hat-tip to Pat Curley at Brainster's Blog]

Official Statements
President George W. Bush
Prime Minister Tony Blair
[hat-tip to Jayson Javitz at PoliPundit]

Are You Conservative? offers a great US/UK flag image
In Solidarity...
[hat-tip to Ace of Spades]


AND, PREDICTABLY, THE LEFT HAS NO SHAME:

Right Wing News
An Early Reaction to the London Bombings from Some People at the Democratic Underground
An Early Reaction to the London Bombings from a Lefty Blog

Power Line
From the Belly of the Beast

All of the above: Too sick for words! (Hint: Bush & Rove are behind the whole thing!)

Wizbang!
Galloway: Britain Is Paying the Price of Afghanistan and Iraq

Power Line
Fractionally to the Right of Ward Churchill

Dear Mr. Galloway - Fuck you, you piece of sub-human slime! Love, Mr. Right

Lorie Byrd at PoliPundit links to a Hugh Hewitt piece about imbeciles Al Franken & Tom Oliphant
Amen, Brother Hugh

Michelle Malkin
The 7/7 Attacks: Reactions from the American Left

Ankle Biting Pundits
Bush Blaming Begins

Red State
The Decadent Anti-War.com

DUmmie FUnnies
Pied Piper Pitt Places Blame For London Bombings On Bush and Blair

Have they NO decency remaining - at all???

To All Who Have Served - Thank You!

If you are living in freedom anywhere on the face of the earth, why not take a moment to thank those who make it possible?

God bless America!
God bless President George W. Bush!

And, most of all...

God bless the men and women of the U.S. Armed Forces!

Let them know how much you care!

Happy Birthday, America!

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Connecticut:
Samuel Huntington
Roger Sherman
William Williams
Oliver Wolcott

Delaware:
Thomas McKean
George Read
Caesar Rodney

Georgia:
Button Gwinnett
Lyman Hall
George Walton

Maryland:
Charles Carroll of Carrollton
Samuel Chase
William Paca
Thomas Stone

Massachusetts:
John Adams
Samuel Adams
Elbridge Gerry
John Hancock
Robert Treat Paine

New Hampshire:
Josiah Bartlett
Matthew Thornton
William Whipple

New Jersey:
Abraham Clark
John Hart
Francis Hopkinson
Richard Stockton
John Witherspoon

New York:
William Floyd
Francis Lewis
Philip Livingston
Lewis Morris

North Carolina:
Joseph Hewes
William Hooper
John Penn

Pennsylvania:
George Clymer
Benjamin Franklin
Robert Morris
John Morton
George Ross
Benjamin Rush
James Smith
George Taylor
James Wilson

Rhode Island:
William Ellery
Stephen Hopkins

South Carolina:
Thomas Heyward, Jr.
Thomas Lynch, Jr.
Arthur Middleton
Edward Rutledge

Virginia:
Carter Braxton
Benjamin Harrison
Thomas Jefferson
Francis Lightfoot Lee
Richard Henry Lee
Thomas Nelson, Jr.
George Wythe