Anyone up for a Nice Little Game of Whack-a-Troll?

Trolls. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing!

Well, maybe not absolutely nothing. They do often make for some great comedy!

A number of the regular commentators on the threads of my favorite Internet hangout, PoliPundit, actually look forward to these lefty clowns popping up from time to time trying to stir up trouble. In fact, PoliPundit may just be the Major Leagues of the trolls vs. troll-killers action. The problem is, most of the trolls who step forth seeking the PoliPundit spotlight are just not up to the task! Most prove feckless, spouting the latest MoveOn, DU, or Kos memes that are easily trounced by facts and logic by a crew of slayers salivating for the next course of troll meat!

An excellent case in point comes from a thread that begins with a typically terrific analysis of the Bush speech last night by the great Lorie Byrd. This link is worthwhile just to read Lorie's fine work, but be certain to grab some popcorn and a soda and stay for the fireworks in the thread that follows!

Enter "maximus," a fitting name for a glorious Roman Gladiator stepping into the main arena of the great Colosseum for his battle royale with the dreaded "Repukes," right? Wrong!

First of all - the name - too easy: From the most glaringly obvious "minimus," to the wickedly clever "gluteus maximus," to my own "maxim(UM-DOOF)us," this is a very poor choice of names for a troll, as it is quickly and most easily twisted around by his foes for maximum comedic effect.

Next, get a load of this poor dimwitted troll's first volley (Comment #7):

Yawn. Bush makes a speech. Still no WMD found. 1700 soldiers died for the Republican party so they can destroy social security, medicare, and other programs to help people.

Still 100,000 innocent Iraqi civilians died.

Still 2 stolen elections.

Still Bush worse than Nixon.

Still so many deluded Chimp worshippers on polipundit dot con will cheer while more soldiers die while they stay at home watching the chimp from the comfort of their home, at Fort Braggart.

Still the Republican Party cuts benefits for veterans this year which has the Veterans groups pissed at the Republican Party that brags they support the military but sticks the shiv in with the form of budget cuts.

If you support the military so much why don't you fellows enlist and also call congress to restore the billion dollar cuts for veterans that will go for wealthy people's tax cuts.

What? no response? The silence deafens.

Oh, brother! Where to begin? This post is so full of falsehoods and fever swamp sludge it is laughable! Oh, and here's a hint: When severely outnumbered and on enemy ground, it is best not to insult everyone within moments of your arrival. And that last line is especially funny. Um, "maximus," just how exactly is anyone supposed to have already responded to you when this is your first post on the thread? "What? No response? The silence deafens..." Until the roar of you being ripped limb from limb begins moments later, that is!

One could spend forever picking that post apart piece by piece, but I have enough confidence in most of my readers to see through the tripe, so I will spare you the fisking.

Instead, let us concentrate on the most egregious error in the entire post, committed in this line: "If you support the military so much why don't you fellows enlist..."

Ouch! That is one stupid troll f***-up, right there! Not knowing your audience while preaching to them is supremely stupid! As the old axiom goes, "It is far better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt!" But don't take it from me, take it from the members of the U.S. Armed Forces, past and present, who hang out in fairly large numbers at PoliPundit! Now, let's just see what some of them have to say to Mr. Troll...

OAK LEAF (#10):

maximus, “why don’t you fellows enlist.”

Hmm, I did just that under President Reagan and under Bush 43 decided not retire.

We in the military, reserve and active duty, support our Commander overwhelmingly !!!

OP12 (#12):

It never ceases to amaze me when left wing trolls just assume that conservatives supporting the war are (1) not in the military (or previous members of the military) and (2) don't have friends and relatives in harm's way.

The truth is that fools like maximus are far less likely to have served or know people serving. And yet they pretend to support the military.

Among all groups, support for the war in Iraq is FAR higher among active military and military families than the general population.

GERRY OWEN (#17):

As a vet, (gluteous)Maximus, I would say why don't you pack up and split for France?

PROFESSOR BLATHER (#24):

I served 5 years in the United States Marine Corps, 1989-1994. Most regular posters here have indeed served or are still serving, in either the enlisted or officer ranks.

Now my turn, sonny: when and where did you serve? Which unit(s)? What was your MOS?

I assume, of course, that you served in Haiti, Bosnia, Kosovo, Somalia, Iraq, and Afghanistan. Right?

Because otherwise you'd be a painfully obvious hypocrite... and that can't be true, can it? Er... can it?

I look forward to your minimal reply, Minimus.

Undaunted, our brave little troll fights blindly onward, refusing to retreat while he had the chance to escape with comparatively minor wounds:

MAXIMUS (#31) [Ignoring the question about his own service and wandering far, far off topic for a few ad hominem attacks while slipping in a sucker punch which serves only to reiterate his earlier idiocy]:

I don't hate Bush and Republicans. I strongly oppose their 19th century robber baron capitalism.

Capitalism needs policing and Republicans tend to hate these type of police. Republicans tend to favor cheap labor at any cost, overlooking death injury, hardship, casting blame on everything but their employer.

If things were left up to the 101st keyboarding unit, Republican Party propagenda unit here, children under 16 would still work, we would have no 40 hour work week, safety standards would not exist. We would have dirty meat, dirty food and Flush Limbaugh on every network on tv. We would have comapnies like Enron cheating thousands of people. Ooops that did happen while Republicans held the congress.

Thank a liberal for the 40 hour work, minimum wage, social security, medicare, safety standards for makign reliable products.

We can thank 19th and 20th century conservatives for the great depresion, McCarthyism, lynching, segregation, religious oppression by radical christians, the civil war, slavery.

You don't think liberals owned slaves? Not at all.

In the 20th and 21st centuries you conservatives will tolerate wage slavery with an inflation reduced minimum wage.

(Emphasis added.)

Again, most of that is laughable and falls beneath the weight of its own folly, but Troll-boy continues to stomp on bare nerves after being plainly shown that the nature of his audience does not fit his pigeon-hole. He is, however, much too thick to get it! Why don't we let a couple of the folks sprinkle some logic on the fecal matter flung by our little monkey?

THE WARDEN (#45):

"If you support the military so much why don't you fellows enlist...."

This might be the most jackassed line of argument ever.

Hey lefties, if you want cops and firefighters to risk their lives protecting you and your property, then why don't you go police the streets and put out fires?

Wow that was fun. I could play this stupid game all day! Well, if I were a slobbering idiot, that is.

JAYSON (#51) [PoliPundit's own Jayson Javitz]:

...On a serious note, that whole lefty meme about being hypocritical regarding the war if you don't enlist truly is the most asinine meme in history.

First, many of us are too old to enlist. The armed forces wouldn't want us.

Second, by that "logic," if you're not a medical doctor, you would not be able to debate or to support health care reforms. If you're not a lawyer, you wouldn't be allowed to debate or to support tort reforms. If you're not a petroleum engineer, you wouldn't be allowed to debate or to support energy reforms. Etc., etc., etc.

It's literally absurd.

Modern-day leftism is not a political ideology.

It's a mental disorder.

PROFESSOR BLATHER (#62) [Repeating his loaded query]:

Minimus:

I'm confused, Chum.

I return here and see that you did come back to the thread - yet strangely I cannot find your record of military service.

Did I miss it perhaps?

Certainly after spewing that particularly trite talking point of moonbattery I'm not going to discover that - gasp! - you didn't actually serve at all? No! It can't be!

MAXIMUS (#63) [Still avoiding the Professor's question and descending into complete falderal]:

Paul Winchel the ventriloquist died recently, so I wonder how the dummy of a chimp gave his speech tonight.

They probably found a new ventriloquist.

Oh I don't blame America first. I blame conservative Republicans first.

PROFESSOR BLATHER (#65) [Refusing to be distracted]:

Minimus:

Ah, you're back!

And to ask yet again - which unit did you serve with? When? What was your MOS?

Do tell! We're waiting, Skippy!

PROFESSOR BLATHER (#68) [Baiting the trap some more and toying with his prey]:

Oh, Minimus .... ?

Minimus?

You served in which branch? Where? When?

(crickets chirp softly)

(a pin drops)

(somewhere in the murky depths of a nearby reality-based community, a young moonbat opens his eyes...)

MAXIMUS (#76) [Leaping into the bear trap with both feet]:

In 1968 and 1969 the government had a draft lottery. I did not get drafted.

Even if Republicans do serve they fight for the Republican Party and not America as they would get all that Nazi legislation passed that would do away with Social Security, and the social safety net and leave us in a world that Ayn Randies would love.

So I only respect Democrats who serve in the army. I consider Republicans the enemy within.

Ouch! The Professor's trap has sprung on its hapless victim, but the fatal wound is actually self-inflicted! After jumping into the trap, maximus swings his puny mace at the Professor only to hit himself square in the head with it! As the dying troll falls amidst the deriding laughter of anyone with a functional brain-cell reading his words, the PoliPundit jackals descend on him in droves to feast upon his remains! The battle is lost! Some of the best moments of the remaining carnage follow...

VNJAGVET (#85):

Max's post 76 is painful in its honesty, and reveals the vacuity of his belief system. Rebublicans are more frightening to him than the minions of death carrying out suicide bombings in hospitals, bus stops, restaurants and bazaars.

What about Rebublicans that fought in the Civil War to free slaves and in WW II to free the world from Hitler and Japanese warlords, and in Korea, sent by a Democratic President and Congress, and in Vietnam who, like me, were sent by a Democratic President and Congress?

What about Republicans like Everett Dirksen and Hugh Scott who fought the filibustering Southern Democrats to get the Civil Rights Acts of the Fifties and Sixties passed? What about Republicans in the Civil Rights Division and in Law Schools who went south to get African American voters registered in the Sixties and even the Seventies?

Bigots wear new clothes now. They have funny foil hats. Max is clearly one of them. Anyone who believes over half of his country is worse than Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and Zarqawi fills that bill for me.

That is pretty revealing.

OAK LEAF (#87):

Hmm, I have a suggestion for Maximus. Take a look at a reply of the Presidents address when they scan the audience. Those are members of the 18th Airborne Corps. They are overwhelmingly Republican.

The men are better men than you and so are the women. They are the only thing standing between you and terrorists.

OAK LEAF (#91):

Maximus, I am going to tell you something rather chilling. Deployed men and women know what the left is saying back home. At some point, there is going to be a soldier that is going to say "Why bother." NOT because of Bush 43 but because the crap from the left. That soldier, due to disgust, is going to "let" a terrorist "escape" by inaction. Hey, "why bother." Be very afraid of what that escaped terrorist just might do to one of your liberal urban meccas.

Sweet dreams maximus, sweet dreams....

PROFESSOR BLATHER (#92):

Ah, look! A Nazi reference! Minimus is so stunningly original!

(Please note, however: Minimus did not actually compare anyone to Nazis. Such would be a misinterpretation. Clarification to follow shortly)

And - gasp! - sweet young Minimus never served his country?

I don't understand. According to Minimus himself, it is the height of hypocrisy to support a President and not serve in his wars!

Honestly, I'm stunned! Did Minimus not vote for Clinton? He did??? What??

And yet no service in Bosnia? Nor in Kosovo? Nor in Somalia? Nor in Haiti?

I'm shocked. Just shocked. Surely the Left would be more intellectually honest than that, no?

To be serious for just a moment (which is admittedly difficult while giggling at Minimus - I especially enjoyed his attempt to pretend he's over 19 years of age!):

Minimus' last statement - while sophomoric and frankly insulting to most Democrats - is, sadly, true.

This statement:

So I only respect Democrats who serve in the army. I consider Republicans the enemy within.

They hate the majority of their country - make no mistake about it. They hate the troops - because (as those of us who actually DID serve know) the military votes Republican. And - no - zoomies, the Air Force does not count. Sorry.

If you have the stomach, you'll enjoy this glimpse through the dark abyss of moonbatdom. They don't pull punches: if the troops didn't vote Kerry, f^#$k 'em, according to the enlightened compassionate members of the Left.

Enjoy. Or Don't:

[DU link #1]

[DU link #2]

[DU link #3]

A small sample of how Minimus thinks... And to be completely fair - even in Moonbatland, a few of the loons stood up against this rhetoric.

Not many, though.

Wonder why Democrats lose elections? Wonder why they've lost everything, in fact?

Read on. The question posed was: Are you proud of our troops?

Here is a sample answer:

no pride- we should be ashamed of what they've done...
Edited on Sat Jan-22-05 11:50 AM by mike_c

...in our names, not proud of them. They've served as thugs and enforcers for a corrupt foreign policy. They've helped shatter a country already brought to it's knees by ten years of draconian sanctions and an invasion premised upon bald-faced lies. The've participated in a war of aggression that mocks international law. They've murdered untold numbers of innocent civilians. Their occupation has created an insurgency that threatens to consume Iraq in civil war, and causes the deaths of additional innocents. They have destroyed homes and lives for no good purpose whatsoever.

I am deeply ashamed of them. There is nothing noble about what they've done in Iraq. They have not served or defended us- they served fascism.

To those who inevitably argue that they had no choice but to commit these crimes, consider that this circumstance neither exonerates them under law, nor makes their actions admirable. Only blind alliegence- the act of being a "good German"- can raise pride in what they've done in Iraq.

Jesus wept. That they are ignorant is excusable, that they trumpet that ignorance so proudly and denigrate those who serve is unforgivable.

LIKEABLE LIBERAL (#95):

Maximus-

my friend, I am a democrat and I did serve, so I guess you can respect me or so you said.

I read your post above about minimum wage etc. with a fair degree of sympathy. I used to write such posts too and come in for the same response you've been getting.

It takes a thick epidermis to be a troll.

But a lot of the things you point out as objectionable about Republicans are a myth. They may have been true a while ago, but so many of them are no longer true.

The GOP is made up of normal people, like you (and me), no dumber, no smarter, no more venal, no more virtuous, not evil, not goody two shoes either.

Just people. A lot of them support minimum wage. Most of them wouldn't dream on IMPOSING more than 40 hour work weeks (in fact the struggle of the 21st century will be to maintain 40 hours of work as a MAXIMUM for everyone), they aren't all the stereotypes that you (and I) were trained to believe they were.

Hang out here for a while and listen to the folks. Disagree with respect, and not with a chip of superiority on your shoulder and you will do just fine and may even learn something.

Like GW isn't the monster your friends think he is.

That a conservative SCOTUS doesn't mean the end of civilization.

That the Republican leadership IS trying to govern responsibly but having a hard time with the loyal opposition.

That Iraq was the right thing to do.

And that many issues you may take for granted, like abortion, environment, labor relations, etc. have two defensible sides and the other side is not always too unreasonable.

Welcome to PoliPundit. A marketplace of ideas, a modern Agora.

Alas, I am afraid it is too late for him, Likeable Liberal. (Rest in pieces, little troll.) Perhaps some others might profit from your wisdom, however.

There is much more, including some good laugh lines, for anyone who cares to read the thread, but I've copied and pasted more than enough to make my point.

A few words of advice to any would be trolls. If you come to play on the threads of PoliPundit, bring relevant facts, strong arguments and links to support your claims (and, no, linking to DU is not going to help you - we tend to use DU links to make YOU look stupid, as evidenced above), be courteous, keep a civil tongue, have a sense of humor and keep your wits about you. Leave the childish insults and Moonbat conspiracy theories at home. Failure to heed these warnings could prove fatal.

Gee... I wonder who we'll be having over for dinner on the threads of PoliPundit tonight? Trolls - the other white meat!

You Just Might Be a Moonbat...

UPDATE: Wow! It is an honor and a privilege to welcome all Conservative Grapevine readers to my humble little blog! I hope you enjoy your visit! Thank you, Mr. Hawkins!

Welcome also to my good friends from Brainster's Blog! Thanks again, Pat!

UPDATE 6/28: Welcome Rightwing Nuthouse inmates! Thanks to Rick Moran for making this blog the LEAD FEATURE of this week's Carnival of the Clueless #3! Be sure to check out some more of the fine entries. I feel honored, good sir.

Welcome WILLisms readers! Another thank you is owed to the great Will Franklin for featuring The Right Place in this week's Carnival of Classiness! More great stuff to check out there, too.

And a hearty welcome to the readers of DANEgerus (Genius Maximus) as well!

UPDATE 6/30: Welcome IMAO readers! Special guest blogger "Tom Cruise" has selected this post for IMAO's latest Carnival of Comedy! My enlightened inner body Thetans thank you (er... uh... something like that)!

Believe me, I am truly grateful for all of the links! We now return to our featured presentation...

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A great many people throughout America have recently devolved into "Moonbats."

While there is hope for a full recovery with proper treatment, the first step is to recognize that you do, in fact, have a problem.

To help you in determining if you need to seek help, and with all necessary apologies to the great Jeff Foxworthy, The Right Place proudly presents:

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A MOONBAT...

If you believe that the prison conditions at Guantanamo Bay are in any way comparable to those at a Soviet gulag, Nazi concentration camp or Pol Pot's "Killing Fields" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If people have ever addressed you as Illinois Senator Dick Durbin - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that most Republicans have never made an honest living in their lives - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that Howard Dean's Chairmanship of the DNC is the best thing to happen to the Democrat Party in years - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that Howard Dean's Chairmanship of the DNC is the best thing to happen to the Republican Party in years - you are most definitely NOT a Moonbat!

If you believe that Karl Rove's statements about "liberals" being soft on terrorists in the wake of 9/11 were obscene and demand that he resign in disgrace for daring to utter such filth, but anything and everything spoken in recent months by Dick Durbin, Howard Dean, Harry Reid, Charlie Rangel, Ted Kennedy and the rest of the Democrats are valid criticisms and observations that must never be apologized for or backed down from by any of them for any reason whatsoever - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that President Bush stole the 2004 Presidential Election in Ohio by nearly 120,000 votes, but that Christine Gregoire is the popularly elected Governor of the State of Washington - you just might be a Moonbat!

If, in the wake of the 2004 Election, you received professional psychiatric treatment for "PEST" and/or ever seriously considered moving to another country to escape from "Jesusland" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that George W. Bush is the worst President in our nation's history, but that Jimmy Carter is a great and noble statesman - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you have ever used an asterisk in place of the President's name, or are incapable of saying it without using some combination of the terms "Hitler," "Shrub," or "Chimp" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you routinely equate everyone you disagree with politically to Adolph Hitler - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that President Bush should or will be impeached over the "Downing Street Memo" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you have ever participated in mock impeachment hearings in the basement of the U.S. Capitol - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that the greatest threat the world is facing today comes not from al-Qaeda or nuclear weapons programs in Iran and North Korea, but from the U.S. Armed Forces or the Bush Administration - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that acting "unilaterally" means "without the express written consent of France" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If reading the words "Diebold" or "Haliburton" fill you with a seething, boiling rage and the urge to harm your defenseless computer - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that the underlying story beneath the whole Dan Rather / 60 Minutes II / George W. Bush / Texas Air National Guard / Killian Memos flap is far more important than the fact that the documents were fakes - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you have ever seriously used the phrase "fake but accurate" as a defense of any of your arguments - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that Karl Rove created the forged TANG documents obtained by See-B.S. News, or that they are 100% genuine, or both (whichever explanation is most convenient at any given moment) - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that everything you have ever read at the Democratic Underground or the Daily Kos is the indisputable truth - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that John Kerry spent Christmas in Cambodia after he was sent there by President Elect Nixon and has a "magic hat" that can prove his story is true - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that all of the Swift Vets and POWs for Truth are nothing but a bunch of filthy, partisan liars acting on orders from the RNC - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that Ward Churchill is a great American patriot who is just a victim of the "Right Wing Attack Machine" attempting to infringe upon his First Amendment Right to Free Speech, but that Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Bill O'Reilly and Fox News ought to be banned from the airwaves for practicing "hate speech" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that Ward Churchill is a genuine Native American - you just might be Ward Churchill!

If you believe that Michael Moore is the greatest documentary filmmaker of our time - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you own any article of clothing with a picture of a well-known Communist on it that does not also feature a set of cross-hairs or a red circle and slash over his face - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you regularly quote the likes of Karl Marx, Noam Chomsky, Gore Vidal or Al Franken without lampooning them - you just might be a Moonbat!

If a Clinton/Boxer Presidential ticket for 2008 is your wet dream come true - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that the ACLU is doing this country a great service by protecting it from the likes of the Boy Scouts and public Nativity scenes while standing up for NAMBLA - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that consuming meat or dairy products amounts to an "abuse" of the "rights" of "our animal brethren" - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that openly opposing legalized "Gay Marriage" is hate speech - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you have ever knowingly given money to and/or attended a rally in support of PETA, MoveOn.org or ANSWER - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that average American Christians are an equal or possibly even bigger threat to the world at large than angry Islamofascist Terrorbots - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe it was a good thing that America "lost" the Vietnam War and that it deserves to lose the War in Iraq because it is all about oil and American Imperialism and because the evil Bush Administration lied to us - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe it is not only proper, but essential that any memorial at Ground Zero include an indictment of America for bringing the events of 9/11 upon itself due to its over-reaching corporate greed and evil Imperialist nature - you just might be a Moonbat!

If you believe that the horrific events of 9/11/01: a) Never actually took place; b) Were all part of a plot by the Israelis to make Muslims look bad; c) Were cooked up by George W. Bush and/or Karl Rove as an excuse to start a war; d) Were known about in advance by Israel and/or the White House or e) Were a good thing - you are more than just a garden-variety Moonbat, seek professional help IMMEDIATELY!

This has been a Public Service Message from The Right Place. No Moonbats were actually harmed in the creation of this post.

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If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy:
Selections from the "Donktionary"
The Moonbat Song

and "The Hill-Orgy of Errors":
Hillary Clinton's Secret Love Affair Exposed!
Bigfoot Takes His Own Life!
The Right Place Stands By Its Story!

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UPDATE: This post has been submitted to the following blog features...

Wizbang: Carnival of the Trackbacks XVII
MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: Open Trackbacks
Basil's Blog: Breakfast
My Pet Jawa: Do-it Yourself Fatwah Festival

"The Tears of a Clown" or "More Mindless Drivel from Senator Dick"

I have been somewhat busy over the last few days. I had meant to find some time to blog, but really just never got around to it.

What's that you say? Did I hear Senator Dick Durbin's (Moonbat-al Jazeera) apology? Yes, I did.

{Yawn}

Oh, you expected me to respond? Was I supposed to do that? In a timely fashion, huh? You don't say...

Well, seeing how Senator Dick took a full week to come up with a "heartfelt apology" {pffft}, why should I feel compelled to respond so swiftly to that gasbag?

Oh, alright! Here's what the nimrod said on Tuesday, June 21st, from the Senate floor (his voice cracking with {sob} emotion):

"More than most people, a Senator lives by his words, words are the coin of the realm in our profession. Occasionally words will fail us and occasionally we will fail words."

"On June 14, I took the floor of the Senate to speak about genuine heartfelt concerns about the treatment of prisoners and detainees at Guantanamo and other places. I raised legitimate concerns that others have raised, including Secretary of State Colin Powell, about the policies of this administration and whether they truly do serve our needs to make America safer and more secure, whether, in fact, some of the policies might, in fact, endanger our troops, or in some ways disparage the image of America around the world."

"During the course of that presentation, I read an e-mail from the Federal Bureau of Investigation that was discovered to exist last August, and has now been produced as part of the Freedom of Information Act. After reading the horrible details in that memo, which characterized the treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo, I then, on my own, my own words, made some characterizations about that memo. I made reference to the Nazis, Soviets and other repressive regimes."

"Mr. President, I have come to understand that was a very poor choice of words. I tried to make this very clear last Friday that I understood to those analogies to the Nazis, Soviets and others were poorly chosen. I issued a release which I thought made my intentions and my inner-most feeling as clear as I possibly could."

"Let me read to you what I said. 'I have learned from my statement that historical parallels can be misused and misunderstood. I sincerely regret if what I said causes anybody to misunderstand my true feelings. Our soldiers around the world and their families at home deserve our respect, admiration and total support.'"

"Mr. President, it is very clear that even though I thought I had said something that clarified the situation, to many people it was still unclear. I'm sorry if anything that I said caused any offense or pain to those who have such bitter memories of the Holocaust, the greatest moral tragedy of our time. Nothing, nothing should ever be said to demean or diminish that moral tragedy."

"I'm also sorry if anything I said in any way cast a negative light on our fine men and women in the military. I went to Iraq just a few months ago with Senator Harry Reid and a bipartisan Senate delegation. When you look in the eyes of the soldiers you see your son and daughter. They are the best. I never, ever intended any disrespect for them."

"Some may believe that my remarks crossed a line. To them, I extend my heartfelt apologies."

"There's usually a quote from Abraham Lincoln that you can turn to in moments like this. Maybe this is the right one. Lincoln said, 'If the end brings me out right, what is said against me won't amount to anything. If the end brings me out wrong, 10,000 angels swearing I was right wouldn't make any difference.'"

"In the end, I don't want anything that I may have said detract from the love for my country, my respect for those who bravely risk their lives each day for our security, and this Senate which I am so honored to serve as a member. I offer my apology for those offended by my words. I promise to speak out on the issues that I think are important to the people of Illinois and to the nation."

(Emphasis added.)

Senator, I have come to understand that you STILL think that this is just a matter of you being misunderstood by us numbskulls out here among the great unwashed. SOME may believe that your remarks crossed a line??? What about you, Senator? You don't say that YOU believe that they crossed the line, now do you? That only leads me to believe that you do NOT believe that they crossed the line!

If you don't get it by now, Senator, you most assuredly never will. The only reason you are offering this apology is because the pressure to do so became overwhelming. YOU still don't believe that YOU did anything wrong, only that SOME of US were UNCLEAR on what you said. Isn't that it, Senator? When you boil your statement down, isn't that the basic gist of the thing?

Quoting Abe Lincoln, huh? Senator, you are not even fit to mention the name of Abe Lincoln, nevermind quote the man!

Real, sincere, "heartfelt" apologies are offered without qualification. They are offered quickly, without hesitation or nuance, within hours or, at most, a couple of days of the original event (or of the offender learning of the undesirable consequences that his actions had on others). They are the result of a process of self-examination and reflection and are offered because the offender feels true remorse for his actions, they do not come strictly as a response to building pressure from external forces. The one offering that apology takes full responsibility for his own actions; he admits that he did, in fact, make a mistake; he expresses his regrets and then assures that it will never, ever happen again; and usually, because he has learned from his own mistake, he does not repeat it.

Sincere "heartfelt" apologies are never offered a week later, couched in nuances, after several attempts to stand by the original offending act with "no regrets" or insincere attempts at an "apology" by saying that you are sorry that people "misunderstood" you, and only after tremendous pressure made you realize that an apology was the only way to take the heat off yourself!

Sen. John McCain (RINO-MSM), may have been quick to accept your "apology" and say that we should just put all of this behind us, but I'm not so certain a whole lot of the rest of us feel that way.

I say that instead, we should all just put Dick Durbin behind us come 2008! That would be the best way to handle this whole sorry episode at this point. Save the tears Senator. You'll need them later.

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NOT TO BE MISSED...

For the funniest take ever on this whole Durbin affair, check out Buckley F. Williams, who has quite the flair.

He channels the spirit of the great Dr. Seuss, and uses his stylings to cook Durbin's poor goose:

In the whole of the world there is none more speech frantic
Than Sir Richard of Durbin, Crown Prince of Bad Antics
From his perch high atop the United States Senate
Sir Richard screamed "foul" and then said that he meant it.

"Stalin and Hitler and also Pol Pot
Bad men I concur, but not compared to this lot
For Bush and his Gulag have surpassed them all
How? Take a seat and relax and let me recall."

Sir Richard leaned forward and commenced his tale
It was how do you say... oh yes... quite a whale.

"The temperature's cold no wait now it's hot
Is this how we treat our fellow humans? It's not.
And long before Thermometergate charges were filed
Came the news that the holy Q'aran was defiled.
Oh the horror, the shame, the cries for your mommy!
To place the Holiest of Books in a fecal tsunami!
But wait, that's not all, not by shots short nor long
These Army devils keep playing the most vile of songs!
This form of torture is too cruel to consider
Nastier still than the Doo-daddle-diddler!
Brittney Spears, Celine Dion and Manilow too
These poor fellows can't take it, quite frankly, could you?"...

And if you think that's good, he's just getting warmed up! Please, read the whole thing. You'll thank me later!

Power Line Has Copies of Kerry's SF-180s

John Hinderaker at Power Line has posted scanned copies of all three SF-180's signed by John Kerry, each one authorizing the release of his military service records to a different entity (Michael Kranish at the Boston Globe, Glen Johnson at the Associated Press and Steve Braun at the Los Angeles Times).

It should be very interesting indeed to read about what these forms do or do not tell us regarding just how much of his record may or may not have actually seen the light of day here as those in the know digest them over the next few of days.

I will post appropriate updates here when I can find the time. I suggest you may want to pay close attention to Power Line, Little Green Footballs, Captain's Quarters, PoliPundit, Wizbang!, and Michelle Malkin for coverage as this unfolds.

So, who was right? Those who said that the issue is over, the Kerry SF-180 Clock should be retired and apologies issued, or those who smelled a rat? Stay tuned...

Read More:

Captain's Quarters

Discussion Threads:

PoliPundit
LGF

******************************

UPDATE 6/26:

A quick review of what has been glommed from the SF-180's since Power Line posted them earlier this week:

John Hinderaker updated his original post with this observation:

The only apparent anomaly in the Form 180s is that they only authorize the release of Kerry's active duty records, not his reserve records. This could well be important, in that Kerry's antiwar activities occurred when he was a member of the reserves. On the other hand, some think that the language of the 180 is broad enough that the Navy may have released Kerry's reserve records, even though not specifically instructed to.

He then goes on to state that the people who would have the answers are the reporters who received the documents, and wonders if there was some sort of arrangement between the reporters and Kerry or his people about whether or not the records could be released to the public. He also says that he has attempted to contact 2 of the 3 reporters in question. (I have seen nothing further about his contacting them yet.)

Scott Johnson, also at Power Line, pointed us to this Josh Gerstein article from the New York Sun featuring this John O'Neill (Swift Vets & POWs for Truth) quote:

One of Mr. Kerry's most steadfast critics, Houston attorney John O'Neill, said yesterday that the latest information from the Navy did not address the issue of whether Mr. Kerry's record might have been purged. "The real question was, was other material in there and was anything expunged?" Mr. O'Neill said.

It also had this most unsurprising little tidbit:

A spokesman for Mr. Kerry rebuffed a request from the Sun for access to the service and medical files released to the other three news organizations.

A tip to Mr. Johnson from a Power Line reader also lead to this earlier NY Sun article which, if accurate, solves a piece of this whole puzzle that has been under scrutiny:

OFFICIAL: KERRY'S RECORDS SENT TO THE NAVY A top official at the national repository for military personnel files confirmed yesterday that the full record of the Navy service of Senator Kerry, a Democrat of Massachusetts, was sent to the Navy to prepare responses to requests from Mr. Kerry and others for his service history. "We have sent the original file to the Navy," the director of archival programs at the National Personnel Records Center, Bryan McGraw, said in an interview yesterday. The statement from the St. Louis-based center, which is part of the National Archives and Records Administration, undercuts claims by critics of the senator that he effectively withheld part of the file from news organizations.

Some critics of Mr. Kerry, who ran unsuccessfully for president last year, complained that privacy waivers he signed recently for selected news organizations were directed to the Navy Personnel Command in Millington, Tenn., which does not usually maintain detailed records on retired service members. However, Mr. McGraw said that is precisely where the original file was sent, though a copy was kept in St. Louis. "The request came from the Navy commander in Millington. The Navy has everything we have. They have had for some time," Mr. McGraw said. He said Mr. Kerry's record was sent to the Navy last year, well before the presidential election. Separately, a former Navy lawyer who raised questions about Mr. Kerry's discharge said yesterday that an unexplained delay in Mr. Kerry's separation from the service could have been the result of an administrative foul-up.

Given the above, we can now be somewhat assured that:

1) Kerry released his full Navy records to the three reporters in question.

2) All of the Senator's Navy records from the NPRC were forwarded to the Navy prior to their release.

Okay, that's two key questions down, but several rather important questions still remain unanswered:

1) Were Sen. Kerry's Reserve records included in the release?

2) Had his records been expunged in any way and at any time prior to their release?

3) Is there some reason why the three news organizations who received copies of these records cannot provide the public access to them via pdf files on their websites or by any other means?

4) Why will Sen. Kerry not provide a general release of all of his service records so that anyone can examine them and put any questions about his service to rest once and for all?

Due to the nagging questions that remain unanswered, the Kerry SF-180 Clock will, for now, remain in the right-hand margin of this blog...

Happy Father's Day!

I want to wish all of the fathers out there, particularly my own, a very happy Father's Day!

Thanks for being there, Dad!

The Downing Street Memo Follies

UPDATE 6/20: Welcome to all my friends from PoliPundit! Thanks again, Lorie!

******************************

If you have the patience to read all of this, I promise you, the payoff is priceless...

You've just got to LOVE the Moonbats who have taken over the Democrat Party!

Before we begin, a little background: Our little story all revolves around the so-called "Downing Street Memo," or more accurately "Memos," which the left-wing bloggers and Moonbats of every stripe, particularly those at the Democratic Underground fever swamp, have been relentlessly screaming bloody murder about for months now! In case you don't know what the Downing Street Memo is, or even if you think that you do, you really should read this article from John Hinderaker at Power Line posted back on May 6th, A Gun That Doesn't Smoke.

The Moonbats claim that this "memo" is proof positive that Bush knew there were never any WMD's in Iraq, created phony intelligence reports and lied to Congress and the American people to take us to into war, and now must be impeached for high crimes against the Constitution! Unfortunately for them (or fortunately as it may turn out), they have been mostly ignored - until now.

And now, let us begin our story...

First, a group of partisan nut-jobs bow to pressure from their extremist tin-foil headgear base and decide to hold make-pretend impeachment hearings in the basement of the U.S. Capitol that end up resembling a Saturday Night Live sketch!

Check out some of this hysterically funny report from Dana Milbank in Friday's Washington Post:

In the Capitol basement yesterday, long-suffering House Democrats took a trip to the land of make-believe.

They pretended a small conference room was the Judiciary Committee hearing room, draping white linens over folding tables to make them look like witness tables and bringing in cardboard name tags and extra flags to make the whole thing look official.

Rep. John Conyers Jr. (D-Mich.) banged a large wooden gavel and got the other lawmakers to call him "Mr. Chairman." He liked that so much that he started calling himself "the chairman" and spouted other chairmanly phrases, such as "unanimous consent" and "without objection so ordered." The dress-up game looked realistic enough on C-SPAN, so two dozen more Democrats came downstairs to play along.

The session was a mock impeachment inquiry over the Iraq war. As luck would have it, all four of the witnesses agreed that President Bush lied to the nation and was guilty of high crimes -- and that a British memo on "fixed" intelligence that surfaced last month was the smoking gun equivalent to the Watergate tapes. Conyers was having so much fun that he ignored aides' entreaties to end the session.

"At the next hearing," he told his colleagues, "we could use a little subpoena power." That brought the house down.

As Conyers and his hearty band of playmates know, subpoena power and other perks of a real committee are but a fantasy unless Democrats can regain the majority in the House. But that's only one of the obstacles they're up against as they try to convince America that the "Downing Street Memo" is important.

And that is just the beginning! It only gets better (or worse) from there! You really have to read the whole thing to believe it!

Then, check out this even funnier treatment from the brilliant John Hawkins over at Right Wing News in his post entitled The Downing Street Memo & the Tin Foil Hatter's Tea Party:

The Democrats haven't just gone "round the bend," they've gone round the bend, down the street, and off to fairy land, where the moonbats dance and play in the dappled moonlight and everyone capers around in their pretty tinfoil hats.

It starts with the Democratic equivalent of a little girl's tea party with her imaginary friends, a mock impeachment hearing for Bush. Now, you'd think that no one but the "Michael Moore crowd" would attend something that ridiculous and you'd be right. But unfortunately, the "Michael Moore crowd" now includes plemty (sic) of Democratic Congressmen and Senators.

Now that you are up to speed on the Holy Grail of the Moonbats' "Impeach Bush" Crusade and the circus that they are engaging in to get it noticed, check out this article from Captain's Quarters, published late Saturday, entitled Did Lucy Ramirez Find the Downing Street Memo:

The media and the Leftists have had a field day with the Downing Street memos that they claim imply that the Bush administration lied about the intelligence on WMD in order to justify the attack on Iraq. Despite the fact that none of the memos actually say that, none of them quote any officials or any documents, and that the text of the memos show that the British government worried about the deployment of WMD by Saddam against Coalition troops, Kuwait and/or Israel, the meme continues to survive.

Until tonight, however, no one questioned the authenticity of the documents provided by the Times of London. That has now changed, as Times reporter Michael Smith admitted that the memos he used are not originals, but retyped copies (via LGF and CQ reader Sapper):

The eight memos all labeled "secret" or "confidential" were first obtained by British reporter Michael Smith, who has written about them in The Daily Telegraph and The Sunday Times.

Smith told AP he protected the identity of the source he had obtained the documents from by typing copies of them on plain paper and destroying the originals.

The AP obtained copies of six of the memos (the other two have circulated widely). A senior British official who reviewed the copies said their content appeared authentic. He spoke on condition of anonymity because of the secret nature of the material.

Readers of this site should recall this set of circumstances from last year. The Killian memos at the center of CBS' 60 Minutes Wednesday report on George Bush' National Guard service supposedly went through the same laundry service as the Downing Street Memos. Bill Burkett, once he'd been outed as the source of the now-disgraced Killian memos, claimed that a woman named Lucy Ramirez provided them to him -- but that he made copies and burned the originals to protect her identity or that of her source.

(Emphasis added.)

Oh, dear God! It's deja vu all over again!!! No, it can't be! It's just not possible! Not again! Please tell me this a practical joke - I can't take anymore Memogates!

This, in fact, could very well be another case of "fake but accurate", where documents get created after the fact to support preconceived notions about what happened in the past. One fact certainly stands out -- Michael Smith cannot authenticate the copies. And absent that authentication, they lose their value as evidence of anything .

(Emphasis added.)

If you are not yet rolling around on the floor laughing at the Moonbats after reading all of this, you are most likely one of them!

After all that, they're fakes??? OH MY GOD!!!

They're fakes!!!

This is just too damned funny!!!

Can we question their SANITY yet?

******************************

UPDATE:

You can read more at All Things Conservative:

The Downing Street Memo
Update: Downing Street Memo

John Hinderaker at Power Line offers a differing opinion (i.e., "fake but accurate" may actually be applicable here):

If They Were Fakes, They'd Say More

Charles Johnson at LGF offers this gem about the "Chairman" of the Tea Party and his legion of Moonbat fans:

Conyers Thanks Democratic Underground

******************************

UPDATE 6/20:

Our great friend Pat Curley from Brainster's Blog reminds us in the comments section and in his post The Return of Fake but Accurate? that he had a spot on bit of intuition way back on May 6th!

Unfortunately, the Times has only the transcript and not a copy so it can't be verified in any other way (e.g., initials, signatures, etc.). But I'd be very surprised if this is a completely original memorandum prepared shortly after a meeting on July 23, 2002 as it is purported to be.

Hey, Pat? Can I borrow your crystal ball?

Meanwhile, BummerDietz at Scylla & Charybdis points to a very intriguing common thread between this story and Ra^thergate - Does the name Michael Smith ring a bell?

Gerry Daly at Daly Thoughts has a great analogy:

Recently, the left has been hammering away on the Downing Street Memo in a manner reminiscent of Bugs Bunny testing duds with a mallet.

The bomb may have just blown up on those hammering....

Speaking of Looney Tunes (in more ways than one), PJ-Comix at DUmmie FUnnies has unearthed another gem of a DU thread: DSM RIP and portrays the hysterically seething DUmmies as Wile E. Coyote to George W. Bush's Roadrunner! "Beep! Beep!"

PJ also points us to this article at World Net Daily, which quotes the Captain's Quarters article extensively.

Even more great stuff:

AJ Strata at The Strata-Sphere
Marc at USS Neverdock
Mick Stockinger at UNCoRRELATED
The Anchoress

UPDATE 6/20, 11:15 AM CDT - Rush Limbaugh just led off his show today with a segment on the DSM authenticity questions!

Yet more great stuff:

Paul at Wizbang!
Jay Tea at Wizbang! disagrees with Paul... somewhat.
Ra^thergate.com
Ankle Biting Pundits
Ace of Spades
Joust the Facts

Durbin Gets Head Stuck in Barrel of Political Bazooka, Squeezes Trigger!

Senator Dick Durbin (Moonbat-IL), is still trying to find the door out of the lower level of the two-story outhouse where he ingeniously imprisoned himself Tuesday night on the floor of the United States Senate!

After sticking his foot so far down his throat, his shoelaces could still be seen dangling from his anal aperture, the esteemed inconceivably dense Senator from Illinois al-Jazeera, first attempted to stand by his ridiculous statements and continued his suicidal attack:

"No one, including the White House, can deny that the statement I read on the Senate floor was made by an FBI agent describing the torture of a prisoner at Guantanamo Bay. That torture was reprehensible and totally inconsistent with the values we hold dear in America. This Administration should apologize to the American people for abandoning the Geneva Conventions and authorizing torture techniques that put our troops at risk and make Americans less secure."

"And I remind the White House the Guantanamo Bay scandal has reached such a level of national embarrassment that Senators from both parties are calling for the closure of that facility."

(Emphasis added.)

He even went so far as to engage in a childish game of attack the messenger on the Senate floor!

"I have heard my colleagues and others in the press suggest that I have said our soldiers could be compared to Nazis. I'd say to the Chairman of the Armed Services Committee, I do not even know if the interrogator involved here was an American soldier. I didn't say that at any point. To suggest that I am criticizing American servicemen, I am not. I don't know who is responsible for this. But the FBI agent made this report, and to suggest that I was attributing all the sins and all the horror and barbarism of Nazi Germany or Soviet Republic or Pol Pot to Americans is totally unfair. I was attributing this form of interrogation to repressive regimes, such as those that I noted. And I honestly believe the Senator from Virginia, who I respect very, very much, would have to say that, if indeed this occurred, it does not represent American values. It doesn't represent what our country stands for. It is not the sort of conduct we would ever condone. I would hope that the senator from Virginia would agree with that. That was the point I was making. Now sadly, we have a situation here, where some in the right wing media have said that I have been insulting men and women in uniform. Nothing could be further from truth. I respect our men and women in uniform. I have spent many hours, as I am sure the senator from Virginia has, at funerals of the servicemen who have been returned from Iraq and Afghanistan, writing notes to their families and calling them personally. It breaks my heart every day to pick up the newspaper and hear of another death. Now the total this morning, 1710. To suggest that this is somehow an insult to the men and women serving in the uniform, nothing could be further from the truth. But it is no credit to them or our nation for this sort of conduct to occur."

(Emphasis added.)

While these tactics went over quite well with the lunatic asylum wing of his own party, the public outcry kept growing over his incredibly moronic comparison of the conditions at Guantanamo Bay under the watch of our men and women in uniform with those experienced by the victims of the Nazis, Stalinists and Khmer Rouge. Among those applying the pressure were The White House, The Pentagon, Veterans groups, numerous Republican Senators, The Anti-Defamation League, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Times and The Boston Herald, not to mention an endless parade of conservative bloggers, radio talk show hosts, opinion columnists and political analysts!

Finally, on Friday evening, Senator Dick issued the following non-apologetic apology:

"More than 1700 American soldiers have been killed in Iraq and our country's standing in the world community has been badly damaged by the prison abuses at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo. My statement in the Senate was critical of the policies of this Administration which add to the risk our soldiers face."

"I will continue to speak out when I disagree with this Administration."

"I have learned from my statement that historical parallels can be misused and misunderstood. I sincerely regret if what I said caused anyone to misunderstand my true feelings: our soldiers around the world and their families at home deserve our respect, admiration and total support."

(Emphasis added.)

No wonder the Senator has not only picked up the latest Judge Elihu Smails Buffoon of the Week Award from Ankle Biting Pundits, he pinned the needle on the moron detector:

[Sen. Durbin] quite possible (sic) became the biggest buffoon ever in the history of this prestigious award, which as you can see from reading about past winners is no small feat.

Interestingly enough, no Democrat of any standing has yet seen fit to condemn Senator Dick's statements. The best they can muster is a universal "no comment." Please remember that each and every time you go to the polls for the remainder of your natural lives. This sort of thing is EXACTLY why I am no longer an "Independent" and wouldn't support a Democrat candidate for Congressional Washroom Attendant at this point!


******************************

As a citizen of the State of Illinois, I have had enough!

What follows is a copy of the letter I have sent to the Senator's e-mail address at:

dick@durbin.senate.gov

While I realize that it is highly unlikely that he will read it, I have also sent copies to my Congresswoman, Rep. Judy Biggert (R-IL) and to the Chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, Sen. John Warner (R-VA), hoping, perhaps, that they might like to know my feelings on this matter.

The Honorable Richard Durbin
United States Senate

Dear Senator Durbin:

Sir, you are a disgrace to your office, your constituents, your state, your country and the governing body in which you so callously serve! You have shamelessly defamed the men and women serving our country in every branch of the United States Armed Forces all over the world and effectively made their jobs more difficult as the result of your reckless partisan rhetoric designed to do nothing more than garner political points within your party's most ardent anti-war circles against an Administration with whom you and your party find yourself at odds in a struggle for political power and influence. Your intentions were neither noble nor excusable! Whether or not it was your original intent to stain the reputation of our military is completely irrelevant! Your behavior was reckless, thoughtless and without justification.

You have also simultaneously managed to belittle the atrocities committed by three of the most tyrannical and murderous regimes in world history in your effort to smear the President and done immeasurable harm to our nation's efforts in the War on Terror. In so doing, you have gift-wrapped a precious piece of anti-American propaganda to our country's enemies in the form of a sound-byte that has received extensive play on al-Jazeera Television! Thanks, Senator! Thank you so much!

To aggravate matters further, you steadfastly stood by your incredibly ridiculous statements for almost three days, and now you have issued a less than satisfactory and wholly insincere "apology" designed to do nothing more than take some of the political heat off of yourself! Disgusting! You think you were misunderstood? You weren't misunderstood Senator, we heard you loud and clear in your own words and in full context! Apology not accepted. What was clearly warranted in this matter was a full retraction and a sincere mea culpa - you have utterly failed to deliver either!

As a direct result of your actions, you have now become a national laughingstock, which, as our duly elected representative to the United States Senate, reflects rather poorly upon us, the citizens and voters of the State of Illinois. I sincerely hope your colleagues in the Senate move to censure you for your reprehensible behavior immediately!

As for you, Senator, what do you intend to do about the situation? It seems to me the honorable thing to do would be for you to resign from your office so that the people of Illinois could have the opportunity to be represented by someone who is not a complete and utter embarrassment such as you have, by your own words and actions, now become! However, I have little faith that your resignation is forthcoming, since I have yet to see any hope that there is one single shred of decency or honor left in you.

I am looking forward to working hard towards your humiliating defeat in any attempt at re-election in 2008. Hope you are proud of yourself!

******************************

More:

Iowahawk has a wickedly funny satire piece entitled:

From the Desk of Senator Dick.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you fellow Illinois blogger Ellis Wyatt and a site I will soon be adding to my blogroll:

Dump Dick Durbin

Jay Tea from Wizbang! writes about the devolution of political debate:

Shouting into the Abyss

If you can't increase the volume of your argument, increase the intensity. Ratchet up the rhetoric. Push everything into the extreme, and hope that the sound and fury of your words will overshadow the lack of substance.

from PoliPundit (in chronological order):

Durbin-Dean (Alexander K. McClure)
Hitler, Gulags and the Torture Rhetoric Issue (Lorie Byrd)
More on the Gitmo Comparisons (Lorie Byrd)
Malice Against the Republic (DJ Drummond)
Senators Call on Durbin to Apologize (Lorie Byrd)
The Kids Are Alright (DJ Drummond)
Jack's Verdict (DJ Drummond)

from the man who literally wrote the book on blogging (just scroll through):

Hugh Hewitt

from Power Line (in chronological order):

Mo' Better Kool-Aid
Durbin Feels the Heat
Tunes, Tools, Knaves and Fools
Newt Says: Censure Durbin

from Michelle Malkin (in chronological order):

The Treacherous Dick Durbin
Durbin Watch: MSM Reax
Durbin Watch: History Lessons
Durbin Watch: Cheney and More

from Captain's Quarters (in chronological order):

Durbin: US Operates Death Camps (Without the Death)
Dick Durbin: The Ring of Familiarity
Durbin Oddly Silent About the Torture Closer to Home
Durbin: I'm Sorry You Didn't Comprehend My Genius
Nazi Alert for Senator Durbin

******************************

UPDATE Even More on Senator Dick:

a brilliant piece from from Mark Steyn:

Durbin Slanders His Own Country

from the Washington Times:

Durbin's Gitmo Remarks Draw Fire Back in Illinois

and as always, more great threads from my friends at PoliPundit:

Steyn on Durbin (PoliPundit)
Dick Durbin's Homestate Problems (Alexander K. McClure)
Durbin's Comparisons (Alexander K. McClure)

Senator Durbin Equates Plight of Terrorist Captives at Gitmo to Victims of Nazis, Pol Pot!

Think that all of that "Bush is Hitler, all Republicans are Nazis" talk is mere rhetoric from only the most goofy of the far-left extremist hate-mongers? Guess again! It is now part of the regular talking points for "mainstream" elected Democrats! First, Sen. Robert Byrd (KKK Jackass-WV) compared Senate Republicans to Nazis! Then Rep. Charlie Rangel (Jackass-NY) equated the War in Iraq to the Holocaust! Now, my own dear Sen. Dick Durbin (Jackass-IL), the SECOND RANKING DEMOCRAT IN THE UNITED STATES SENATE has compared our treatment of Terrorists at Guantanamo Bay not only to the lot of prisoners at a Soviet gulag (ala Irene Khan of Amnesty International), but also to the likes of the victims of the Nazis and Pol Pot on the Senate floor!

When you read some of the graphic descriptions of what has occurred here - I almost hesitate to put them in the RECORD, and yet they have to be added to this debate. Let me read to you what one FBI agent saw. And I quote from his report:

On a couple of occasions, I entered interview rooms to find a detainee chained hand and foot in a fetal position to the floor, with no chair, food or water. Most times they urinated or defecated on themselves, and had been left there for 18-24 hours or more. On one occasion, the air conditioning had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. . . . On another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees. The detainee was almost unconscious on the floor, with a pile of hair next to him. He had apparently been literally pulling his hair out throughout the night. On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but extremely loud rap music was being
played in the room, and had been since the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal position on the tile floor.

If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in their gulags, or some mad regime - Pol Pot or others - that had no concern for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.

First it was a "gulag" and now it has graduated to being Auschwitz II? Priceless! Rap music? Playing with the settings of an air conditioner - no, think about that for a moment - an AIR CONDITIONER... think any of these terrorists have those in their huts or caves or spider holes in Afghanistan and Iraq or elsewhere in the often broiling hot Middle East? - have now become the equivalent of being forced into hard labor, gassed and starved to death??? Tell me Senator, what exactly IS the body count at Guantanamo Bay anyway, you glittering jewel of colossal ignorance???

If you would like to contact Sen. Durbin and let him know what you think of his latest remarks, particularly if you, like me, reside in his home state of Illinois, his offices can be reached as follows:

Washington, DC
332 Dirksen Senate Bldg.
Washington, DC 20510
(202) 224-2152
(202) 228-0400 - fax

Chicago, IL
230 South Dearborn St.
Suite 3892
Chicago, IL 60604
(312) 353-4952
(312) 353-0150 - fax

Springfield, IL
525 South 8th St.
Springfield, IL 62703
(217 ) 492-4062
(217) 492-4382 - fax

Marion, IL
701 N. Court St.
Marion, IL 62959
(618) 998-8812
(618) 997-0176 - fax

Be certain to tell him to have a nice day!

More:

Rush Limbaugh

The American Thinker

Wizbang!

The Jawa Report

Alexander K. McClure at PoliPundit

*******************************

UPDATE 6/19:

Durbin Gets Head Stuck in Barrel of Political Bazooka, Squeezes Trigger!

Bloglighting - DUmmie FUnnies

Webster's defines Schadenfreude as:

Enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others.

The Right Place defines Schadenfreude as DUmmie FUnnies.

DUmmie FUnnies is the creation of a mysterious creature called PJ-Comix, who closely resembles a cigar-smoking cartoon beaver (subliminal Clinton reference perhaps?) and describes himself as follows:

I am a 30,000 year old reincarnated being from the 5th dimension. Once every 6000 years I materialize in your dimension in a Las Vegas hotel suite where I chant my holiest of mantras: "RAMA DAMA, I WANNA HOT MAMMA!!!"

Other than materializing in other dimensions, my big hobby is DUmmie observation which I do by observing DUmmies from the Democratic Underground website in my personal DUmmie Ant Farm. I find the DUmmies VERY AMUSING and share my observations of those funny Leftist critters with the rest of the world via my DUmmie FUnnies Blog.

This blog evolved out of a bit begun on Free Republic and highlights the sheer lunacy of the far leftwing fever swamp known as the Democratic Underground, or DU for short. For those of you who have never travelled down that particular Internet sewer hole, let me assure you - it is a place where the tin-foil headgear crowd is front and center!

The DUmmie FUnnies is a hilarious way to observe these folks - the few, the proud, the certifiably loony - from a safe distance without dipping your browser into the stinky muck. Your friendly tour guide, PJ-Comix, even provides occasional Moonbat to English translations and other helpful (and quite funny) observations in brackets beneath each highlighted DUmmie ranting from the selected discussion thread. Here is a prime example from his latest post, DUmmie FUnnies 06-08-05 ("Okay. I am now ready to make some daring, wild-ass predictions.") which is a true classic culled from a DU thread predicting that the Republicans, pretty much ALL of them, are about to be swept from power (sans elections of course) in a fireball of scandal:

LunaC wrote:
Due to retrograde motion, Bush* will again experience the Saturn Return effect in mid-June but this time it's even juicier......Mars (action - ruler of his Power/Destiny) will be in his house of Courts and in conflict with Neptune (deceptions) in the house of his Foundations. At the same time Mercury (news) will conjunct the Sun (focus) in his house of Self-Undoing. The chickens WILL come home to roost! Bush's* Fraud will be revealed in the Courts, MSM will cover it extensively, and it should lead to his decline in power and stature.


[I think Luna-tic, due to a retrograde motion in her brain, has her head stuck in Uranus.]

Did I mention that the original thread poster fervently believes the "Pukes" stole the election? Oh, and not just the Presidency, the Senate, too! In DUmmieland, this is not unusual. It is, rather, a widely accepted FACT! Like I've been telling you, it IS the Internet's leftwing loony-bin!

If you need a good laugh today, toddle on over and check out DUmmie FUnnies. It will give you a terrific peek inside the world so many of those leftwing trolls who pop up on your favorite Conservative blogs come from!

John Kerry Does a 180... or Does He?

Latest UPDATE at bottom:

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It seems Sen. John Forbes Heinz Kerry (Jackass-MA), has actually forwarded some of those mysterious service records of his to The Boston Globe. You know the ones. The ones he kept refusing to release by signing Form 180. The ones he seemed scared to death of. The ones that were supposed to clear up the clouds hanging over his service record. Surprise, surprise... we learn almost nothing new:

The lack of any substantive new material about Kerry’s military career in the documents raises the question of why Kerry refused for so long to waive privacy restrictions.

You bet it does! But it also raises other questions. Little questions... like: Do we really have all the records?

It seems that the previously missing 100 pages are still missing, as PoliPundit points out in his post on the development. He also notes that Kerry indicated during his Meet the Press appearance on Jan. 30, 2005 that he was "sent some more stuff" "at the last moment" (presumably back before the election) that was never released, which he then promised to put out. Where is it, John? Also of note, there is no after-action report regarding Kerry's first Purple Heart. Hmmmm. Lorie Byrd wonders if that may be the part of the record that Mr. Kerry is afraid of.

Marc at USS Neverdock wants to know if Sen. Kerry signed a key portion of his Form 180:

Unless we know whether Kerry signed Part III of form 180, we won't know if he has released his "full record". If people can get a copy of Kerry's records, can they get a copy of the Form 180 to see if he signed part III?

The Navy said they had over 100 pages they could not release without Kerry's authorization. Did the Globe get that many and are they reporting on all of them?

Matt Margoils got John O'Neill of the Swift Vets and POWs for Truth to comment on the matter at Blogs for Bush:

We called for Kerry to execute a form which would permit anyone to examine his full and unexpulgated military records at the Navy Department and the National Personnel Records Center. Instead he executed a form permitting his hometown paper to obtain the records currently at the Navy Department. The Navy Department previously indicated its records did not include various materials. This is hardly what we called for....

Mr. O'Neill then goes on to list a number of unanswered questions left for us to ponder. Please read it.

The one interesting development as the result of the release of these latest records... Kerry's college grades have been made public, and they aren't all that good! Maybe those grades were what Kerry was afraid of? H-Bomb at Ankle Biting Pundits is all over it!

If the Senator wasn't afraid of any of these things, then why did it take so long to sign the damned form (signed on May 20 per the Boston Globe)? For an answer, let's go straight to the horse(face)'s mouth (from the Globe article):

''The call for me to sign a 180 form came from the same partisan operatives who were lying about my record on a daily basis on the Web and in the right-wing media. Even though the media was discrediting them, they continued to lie. I felt strongly that we shouldn't kowtow to them and their attempts to drag their lies out."

Pfffttt! Yeah, right! Kill the messenger!

Now how long, exactly, has it been that the Senator has avoided signing this thing?

Kerry's refusal to waive privacy restrictions dates back to at least May 2003, when the Globe asked in writing for Kerry to sign the Form 180.

Two years??? Amazing! Oh, and I guess that makes the Boston Globe a part of those "partisan operatives" "lying about (his) record on a daily basis...in the right-wing media." LOL!

Since PoliPundit has now removed his self-created Kerry SF-180 Clock from the top of his blog (today marks day 128 since the TV promise), I was going to follow suit and delete it from my sidebar. After reading all of this (Mr. O'Neill's comments in particular), I have decided that the clock remains for the time being.

It seems to me that quite a few questions remain unanswered from a man who still professes a desire to be elected Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on Earth.

More:

Scott "The Big Trunk" Johnson and Paul "Deacon" Mirengoff at Power Line

"Captain Ed" Morrissey at Captain's Quarters

Tom Maguire at Just One Minute

Mark Coffey at Decision '08

Jay Tea at Wizbang

Kevin Aylward at Wizbang

Pat Curley at Brainster

Michelle Malkin

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UPDATE 6/8:

BREAKING NEWS: You must read the latest article on Kerry's SF-180 fiasco from Scott Johnson at Power Line. Reader John Boyle has spotted something that makes this whole thing stink to high Heaven!

The SF 180 is actually a request for "Report of Separation" and all such documents are in the sole custody of the National Personnel Records Center, in St. Louis - not the branch in which the veteran served (in this case the Navy). And the character of Kerry's "separation" (discharge) from the Navy is obviously the document(s) that are hot.

The SF 180 directs the National Personnel Records Center to release records, at the request of the documented veteran, and send them to whomever he designates (usually himself) - period. What is the Navy doing in the middle of this? The Navy must have been the designated recipient, on this specific SF 180 (not the Boston Globe, as Kranish explicitly admits). As a Federal entity, the Navy is then subject to Privacy Laws and any release by them had to be additionally waived by Kerry - or not. He could then easily not waive specific documents for release that he found damaging. What the Boston Globe got was the remainder of whatever the Navy received from NPRC, less what Kerry wished to withhold.

It may be that the Globe is unaware of this game; although I wrote about this at length last week to their reporter Joan Vennochi, who had written that Kerry's 180 was in the pipeline, in order to alert the Globe to what was afoot.

A real shell game.

Scott Johnson states that reporter Thomas Lipscomb (The American Spectator/Jewish World Review/NY Sun) is on the case. If Kerry thought he could put one over on everybody with this phony "I signed my 180, everything is out there now" B.S., he was sadly mistaken! This ain't over by a longshot folks!

HT: Pat Curley at Brainster's Blog

Hillary Belches Out More Liberal Bile

Alexander K. McClure at PoliPundit serves up a heaping helping of "Hillarity" Clinton (Queen Jackass-NY) fisking:

“Some honestly believe they are motivated by the truth, they are motivated by a higher calling, they are motivated by, I guess, a direct line to the heavens.”

You know, I must say that the Senator has a point here. We Republicans spend way too much time talking to God. Indeed, my cell phone bill from talking to the Eternal Three in One is getting rather high. Maybe I need a better long distance plan. Oh well. Tomorrow morning, I’m going to have a conference call with Him and see if He has any reaction to the Senator’s quote.

Too funny! Read the whole thing!

Byrd's Wings May Be Clipped

Yes, it is early in the process, much, much too early to take polls all that seriously, but who in their wildest dreams would have ever thought they'd see numbers like these staring Senator Robert Byrd (KKK Jackass-WV) RPI=-39 in his grizzled old puss?

Long revered throughout his homestate as the "King of Pork" where anything and everything bears his name, literally, the Senator's increasingly odd and hyper-partisan antics in the Senate chamber may be causing many of his constituents in increasingly conservative West Virginia more than just a twinge of angst.

Sen. Byrd, who would turn 89 shortly after the 2006 Election, is the longest serving current member of the United States Senate (first elected in 1958 after 3 terms in the U.S. House) and has never faced much of a serious challenge during his tenure in this state, long considered a Democrat stronghold before voting for George W. Bush in each of the last two Presidential Elections.

While it is not yet known whether Congresswoman Shelley Moore Capito (R-WV CD2) RPI=115 will actually run against him, numbers like these certainly have to have her, and quite likely other potential candidates, pondering the possibility!

Gee, I wonder if the good Senator is feeling at all well these days. Think we'll see a "health-related" pullout?

HT: Alex at PoliPundit

More:

West Virginia blogger Don Surber, who certainly by now has an "instalanche" on his hands, is a must read with a great perspective and a hysterically funny picture to go with his post!

Captain Ed at Captain's Quarters

Gerry Daly at Daly Thoughts

Doverspa at Red State

For the Love of Howard

I feel so giddy today, I just can't keep from singing:

I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
I'm as normal as blueberry pie.
No more a smart little (boy) with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!

I am in a conventional dither,
With a conventional star in my eye.
And you will note there's a lump in my throat
When I speak of that wonderful guy!

Yes, folks, Mr. Right is in love!

No, not the mushy, kissy kind of love, but the sort of love you feel when you wake up and find a beautiful, brightly wrapped present beneath your Christmas tree, the very sort of thing you always wanted, deposited there by Santa Claus himself! The best part? I find a new one there just about every day! That is why I have fallen head over heels for my own personal Santa Claus!

Howard, I love you! No, really, I do! Don't ever leave me, don't you dare! Keep on being who you are forever and ever!

I can't believe the Democrats gave the Republicans this lovable, feisty little man to shower us with gift after gift, day in and day out! How unselfish of you guys! I never knew you cared so much! Why, at this rate, I am going to wake up the day after Election Day 2006 and find the greatest present of all under my tree: A filibuster-proof Senate majority! Oh, Howard, please say you'll deliver it for me? No, wait! I want it to be a surprise! Just keep doing everything exactly as you are!

And Howard... I love you!

HT on USAT article: Alex at PoliPundit

More: Ankle Biting Pundits

Greatest Moments in Sports History...

Our good friend Pat Curley over at Brainster's Blog is looking for help assembling a list of the 100 greatest sports moments of all time.

I have already submitted some of my favorite Chicago sports moments in the comments section.

If you would like to contribute, or just check out the list, take a trip down memory lane over at Pat's place. Tell him Mr. Right sent ya!

Wictory Wednesday: June 1, 2005

Today, the Wictory Wednesday bloggers are blogging in support of Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA), RPI=164.

Sen. Santorum is a reliable conservative vote in the United States Senate who faces an extremely difficult re-election battle against Democrat Bob Casey, Jr., who would be nothing more than another cog in the Democrat's Senate obsruction machine!

Please help us protect Sen. Santorum's seat from the likes of George Soros' Moveon.org and the rest of the well-financed far-left assault squad, who have zeroed in on him as their number one target! You can donate online by clicking here.

Thank you for helping to keep this country moving forward!

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Today is Wictory Wednesday. Every Wednesday, hundreds of bloggers ask their readers to donate to an important Republican campaign.

If you're a blogger, you can join Wictory Wednesdays by e-mailing PoliPundit at wictory@blogsforbush.com. He'll add you to the Wictory Wednesday blogroll. He'll also send you a reminder e-mail every Wednesday, explaining which candidate to support that day.