Wictory Wednesday - August 30, 2006

It's baaaaaaaaack!!!

Take it away, Mr. John Bambenek...

This week Wictory Wednesday is highlighting the candidacy of Michael Steele for the Maryland Senate. It is a closely watched race that is in contention for a GOP and conservative pickup in the Senate. Currently there are two main contenders for the Democratic nomination, Kweisi Mfume and Ben Cardin.

Michael Steele is something of a mythical candidate to the left; he's a black conservative Republican and there has been a history from the left to use racial attacks against him. Two former staffers of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee were found guilty of stealing Steele's credit report -- a federal crime.

Lt. Gov. Steele supports strong programs to continue to grow the American economy and is particularly focused on expanding home ownership. It is crucial that as many citizens as possible own their own homes as home ownership is one of the major keys to economic independence and success. He understands that low taxes and reduced government grow the economy and increase jobs.

Steele is a supporter of transparency of lobbying expenses and fundraising and seeks to eliminate many of the "perks" of being a Senator, like gifts from lobbyists. He is solidly a supporter of earmark reform, a process that allows legislators to slip in pork barrel projects without executive or legislative review. Surprisingly there is no rule preventing a legislator for putting in an earmark where he stands to personally gain from that earmark. Steele is looking to end that.

Michael Steele understands that legal immigration is essential to a successful nation, however, a nation worthy of its name must enforce its laws. He supports sealing the border that allows such a flagrant area of lawlessness inside American soil. He also supports Social Security reform because he understands the nation's youth and young adults will have no retirement system if drastic reforms aren't made.

Please consider donating to or supporting the campaign of Michael Steele.

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Do you blog? Instead of just expressing anger and dismay at what is going on in Washington, D.C., please join us in working to increase Republican majorities, elect more conservatives and defeat liberals everywhere. It is the only way we will ever win!

Remember: Refusing to support Republicans won't hurt the RINO factions, it will only help Democrats and their far-left liberal kook base seize power! Thank you.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Some Assembly Required Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 6th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

This has to be one of our best contests ever! Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the TOP 60 captions for this picture from AP Photo/CBS Face the Nation, Karin Cooper via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "The fact that the new model is more realistic than the original is not what I'd call good news."

-- "Okay, next time we spend the money for better quality plastic."

Alan Kellogg


-- ♫ Hello!... (Hello!... Hello!...)
Is there anybody in there? ♫

benning


-- "This is your brain on moonbattery... any questions?"

Carl


-- "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeStephanopoulos."

-- "Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter... and then we get spring and summer again."

charles austin


-- The Lamont-model Kos-bot shorts out at a crucial moment of the campaign.

D. Carter


-- WOMAN: "Oh, no! He's leaking bulls**t again..."
MAN ON RIGHT: "We need to keep that superfluous third nipple hidden, too."

Damian G.


-- "Remember: Don't insert tab A into slot B, or he might say something rational and confuse everyone." (Warning from the Assembly and Maintenance chapter of DailyKos' Lamont Instruction Manual.)

-- "Somebody call Dr. Noonian Sung! We found the other one!"

Greg


-- "Stepford? My favorite place. Why do you ask?"

Greg Finnegan


-- "Dammit! I know I put the artifical intelligence unit in here somewhere..."

IRA Darth Aggie


-- All your moonbats are belong to us!

-- HANDLER: "Okay, Ned, now when someone asks, 'Why?', you can't keep saying, 'KOS I said so'."

-- Following a natural progression, the Democrats move on from just using dead voters to actually using dead politicians.

-- ♫ Raise taxes a-lot-o, Mr. Roboto! ♫

jimmyb


-- Ned Lamont enters the Clutch Cargo look-a-like contest.

John Ruberry


-- Although Election Day is eleven weeks away, Ned Lamont already looks like he's DOA.

Maggie


-- "Okay, wheel in Castro!"

the man


-- He's come a long way from frying up Krabby Patties in Bikini Bottom.

-- And people thought Dan Quayle had that "deer in the headlights" look.

McGehee


-- Ned Lamont is immortalized for future generations by the same team of scientists who brought you Lenin and Evita Peron.

Pam


-- "Animated? This guy makes Al Gore look like Sonic the Hedgehog."

-- "Okay, I got the cattle prod, let's start this sucker up."

Rodney Dill


-- "Betty... this man has no heartbeat!"

-- Disney's "Imagineers" put the finishing touches on an animatronic figure in it's latest ride "The Hall of Senators" located in the Fantasyland section of their theme park in Orlando.

-- "Get down here! You gotta see this! I'm telling you, this guy's got a prehensile tail!"

Special Ed


-- Technicians touch up a new wax figure at Madam Tussaud's.

-- Technicians touch up Joe Lieberman's new lawn jockey.

steelebeams


-- "We should have upgraded from Personality 0.13a."

Trias


-- "Hey, if you guys had to spend as much time as I do listening to your Kostard supporters spout conspiracy theories, you'd learn to keep a straight face, too."

-- "So, how did you like those brownies, Mr. Lamont... Mr. Lamont?"

-- "Next on Face the Nation, Ned Lamont will answer charges that he's a mindless left-wing robot."

-- "He looked at Helen Thomas and turned to stone. Dibs on his wallet!"

V the K


-- The installation of the "Moderate Module" hit a few snags.

-- Never mind Snakes on a Plane, the new, scarier movie is Flake Without a Brain!

-- Technicians worked feverishly to save Ned Lamont after his first encounter with Helen Thomas.

-- "Sh*t, this ain't gonna work. The 'deer in headlights' look is stuck."

-- "Okay, people, we are almost ready. Now, where did we put his brain?"

walrus


-- An heir to the fortune of one of the founders of J.P. Morgan, Ned Lamont was visibly uncomfortable having only two people waiting on him hand and foot.

W.C. Varones


THE TOP TEN TWENTY:

#20: "Markos Moulitsas has raised the art of political sockpuppetry to unprecedented levels. Ned is more lifelike than the digital Yoda!" -- Gene Shalit

McGehee


#19: "Boy, that's the last time we go with that mortician! This guy looks terrible!"

Windhamite


#18: "Wellstone won by debating a cardboard cutout. We can win by BEING a cardboard cutout."

Doc


#17: "We never should have loaned him to John Edwards for the weekend. Now his positronic network is clogged with hair spray!"

V the K


#16: The crash test dummy is prepared for his high-speed collision with the electorate in November.

D. Carter


#15: GUY WITH HEADSET: "Okay... who unplugged Lamont?"

LongTabSigO


#14: "Okay, bring in Primping Consultant, John Edwards."

Rodney Dill


#13: It only got really scary when they flipped open his head to reveal a hamster running furiously in a wheel.

walrus


#12: "Whose turn is it to stick their hand up the dummy's butt?"

benning


#11: Trying to court the NASCAR vote, Lamont adopts a pit crew.

walrus


#10: Batteries not included.

Rodney Dill


#9: Weekend at Neddie's

hatless in hattiesburg


#8: [*muffled voice*] "Oilcan! Oilcan!"

jimmyb


#7: WOMAN IN BLAZER: "Closing headflap... Check."
MAN IN BLUE SHIRT: "Inserting battery... Check."
MAN WITH HEADSET: "Downloading talking points from DU in five, four, three..."

Beerme


#6: "Let me just cover up those three sixes on your forehead, Mr. Lamont."

V the K


#5: "Ned Lamont, liberal. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic candidate. Ned Lamont will be that man. Lefter than he was before. Lefter, stronger, faster..."

the man


#4: "Mr. Schieffer, you really need to stop hypnotizing the guests."

Carl


#3: "This doomed candidacy has been made possible by the Chubb Group and by Leftists like you."

Damian G.


#2: ♫ His hair was perfect. Yeeeaaarrrggghhh! Moonbats of New London. Yeeeaaarrrggghhh! ♫

charles austin


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...

#1: ...And all the Kos horses, and all the Kos men... couldn't give Lamont electability again.

walrus


BONUS!

♫ Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ned
Rich profiteer, and it all went to his head
After reading Daily KOS, only thing he could conclude
He'd steal a Senate seat from that Lieberman dude.

Now, most folks know old Ned's a millionaire
He's got a staff of twenty and they all tend to his hair
They say Washington is the place you ought to be
You don't need a platform, just spout out hyperbole ♫

MagicalPat


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Mad Hatter Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #6:

The Beards and the Beads Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

The Conservative Cat

Captions Outrageous! [Mad Hatter Edition]

The above photo comes to us from AP Photo/Ron Heflin via Yahoo! (Link broken.)

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, AUGUST 29th:

Some Assembly Required Edition

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Blogmeister USA
Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
Lucky Dawg News
Outside the Beltway
RIGHTLINX
The Steel Deal #1
The Steel Deal #2
WILLisms Where Mr. Right got an honorable mention last week.
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE 8/29: NEW CONTESTS...

Lucky Dawg News
Outside the Beltway

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition

******************************

Thanks for the links!

Castle Argghhh!
Marathon Pundit

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

******************************

UPDATE 9/6:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Right Hand to God Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 5th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 35 captions for this picture from AFP/Timothy A. Clary via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "On my honor, I will bitch-slap the next one of you scumbags to bad-mouth the United States of America... so help me!"

benning


-- "Okay, by show of hands: Who thinks these meetings need more cowbell?"

Buckley F. Williams


-- "All in favor of just plain bombing the sh*t out of Iran?..."

D. Carter


-- Who thinks the UN is a useless sham?

-- ♫ You put your right hand up, you put your right hand down,
You put your right hand up and you shake it all around
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what the UN is all about. ♫

Doc


-- John Bolton decided it would be best to just raise his hand and ask where the bathroom was, since, apparently, writing a note to the person next to you is bad press.

GOP and College


-- "Excuse me, my translator is playing showtunes again."

Hoodlumman


-- "Excuse me! Excuse me! Am I the only one here that isn't a freakin' commie, terrorist, or rabid socialist?"

jimmyb


-- Bolton responds "Yes" when asked if he's entering the UN "Captain Kangaroo Look-a-like Contest".

John Ruberry


-- "Excuse me, I can't find my mouse. Have any of you seen it?"

Lyn Perry


-- "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the 'stache ain't listening."

Omnibus Driver


-- John Bolton's is the lone vote to exile Kofi Annan to St. Helena.

Pam


-- "This is the hand I use when I slap my staff."

radio free fred


-- "Hey, Dr. Z, that thing gotta Hemi?"

rodney dill


-- BOLTON: "I'd like to make a binding resolution that the U.N. peacekeeping forces stop raping kids and providing cover for terrorists.

[crickets chirping...]

spacemonkey


-- The UN now recognizes Mr. Bolton...
"How about we all just quit it with the 'Got Milk?' comments."

Stew


-- Then, his earpiece started picking up the signal from Classic Funk 103.3, and John Bolton voted to take Ahmadinejad to Funkytown.

-- Secretly, the American UN delegation referred to Kofi Annan as "Mr. Kot-tair." You can guess who the 'Sweathogs' were.

-- Only after Kofi threatened to put the entire UN into detention until the one who put helium in his asthma inhaler confessed did John Bolton come clean.

V the K


-- "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... Even if you mo-fo's can't frickin' handle it!"

-- It wasn't the first time Kofi didn't recognize Bolton during a UN debate, but it damn well was going to be the LAST time!

-- The only job lonelier than being a Maytag repair man? Being right at the UN.

-- John Bolton's future career as an NFL referee seemed in doubt when he missed the "Signal a Touchdown" question at his try out.

-- With the crappy reception at the UN, this was the only way Bolton could pick up the Rush Limbaugh Show on his walkman.

walrus


"Everyone who wants to slap France around a bit, raise their hands."

Windhamite


THE TOP TEN:

#10: "Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Mr. Kotter! Ooooh! Ooooh!

walrus


#9: ♫ Confident! Confident! Dry and secure!
Raise your hand! Raise your hand if you're SURE! ♫

The Random Yak meets V the K


#8: "I don't have a question... I'm just trying to hold this dopey RadioShack earphone in place."

LongTabSigO


#7: "This is the hand I used to bitch-slap George Voinovich and make him cry like a baby."

W.C. Varones


#6: "Uhh, Mr. Bolton, just push the button if you can hear the tone."

Greg Finnegan


#5: "NO! If I raise just THIS hand, we are adopting the US position, if I also raise my other hand, THEN we are adopting the French position!"

walrus


#4: "Does anyone OTHER than Mr. Bolton know the correct answer?"

The Random Yak


#3: "May I be excused? I have an anger management class in ten minutes."

radio free fred


#2: "The Chair recognizes Wilford Brimley..."

Adjustah


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: "No, really. I was the walrus. Swear to God!"

Beerme


BONUS!

♫ 'Stache!

Who's Bush's UN pick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Stache!)
You're damn right

Who is the dude
That would let the Israelis go to Beriut
(Stache!)
Can ya dig it?

Who's got the whiskers that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
(Stache!)
Right on

You see this cat's Stache is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about his Stache
(Then we can dig it)

He uses styling gel
And no one understands him 'specially liberals
(John's Stache) ♫

walrus


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Some Assembly Required Edition]

(NOTE: The above contest is already shaping up as one of the best ever!)

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #5:

Not So Mellow Fellow in Yellow Edition

******************************

Thanks for the links!

Atlas Shrugs
Benning's Writing Pad

The Terrorism Bounce

This USA Today/Gallup poll may explain why some opponents of the president would like for the terror arrests in Britain to be yet another nefarious Rovian plot (perhaps in response to the Connecticut Revolution?).

WASHINGTON — The arrest of terror suspects in London has helped buoy President Bush to his highest approval rating in six months and dampen Democratic congressional prospects to their lowest in a year.

In a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll taken Friday through Sunday, support for an unnamed Democratic congressional candidate over a Republican one narrowed to 2 percentage points, 47%-45%, among registered voters. Over the past year, Democrats have led by wider margins that ranged up to 16 points.

[...]

"The arrests reminded people that terrorists were out there, and this is his strong suit," says political scientist Gary Jacobson of the University of California, San Diego. Now, as in 2002 and 2004, Bush and GOP congressional candidates argue that they can be better trusted to combat terrorism.

This was a weekend poll, and those usually oversample Democrats. I haven't crawled into the internals (and I don't intend to), but what's interesting is the consistency of the public's response. It doesn't seem to matter either how badly the war in Iraq goes or is portrayed as going; it doesn't matter how many times and in how many ways Democrats claim to have a better idea, a better approach, and more resolve in the war on terror; and it doesn't matter how far distant from 9-11 this nation gets without another home soil attack (though it's only been five years). Every time terrorism's threat is highlighted, even overseas, Republicans improve their standing in the eyes of the public.

The issue is that the public doesn't trust Democrats generically on terrorism, and whatever the failings of the Bush Administration that hasn't changed. That lack of trust on national security isn't likely improve if they continue to laud disclosures that hamper the effort (NSA) and to push for constitutional rights for terrorists, and their most vocal solution for the war in Iraq is to abandon it.

******************************

Thanks for the link!

Benning's Writing Pad

Captions Outrageous! [Some Assembly Required Edition]

The above photo of the Loony Left's Favorite New Toy, Ned Lam(e)ont (Moonbat-CT), comes to us from AP Photo/CBS Face the Nation, Karin Cooper via Yahoo!

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!

ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, AUGUST 22nd:

Right Hand to God Edition

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Bloggin' Outloud
Blogmeister USA
Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog [Where Mr. Right WON last week!]
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
Lucky Dawg News [LINK FIXED 8/19, 12:30PM CDT]
Outside the Beltway
RIGHTLINX
WILLisms
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE 8/21: NEW CONTESTS ARE UP!!!

Blogmeister USA
Lucky Dawg News

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#52 - Out to Launch Edition
#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition

******************************

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

Thanks for the links!

Marathon Pundit
W.C. Varones

******************************

UPDATE 8/30:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Wictory Wednesday - August 16, 2006

This week, Wictory Wednesday present Thomas Kean for the US Senate for the state of New Jersey. Tom is a known conservative supporting sound economic and political policies that will keep America going in the right direction.

Much has been said about the "culture of corruption" that permeates both parties nationally as well as in New Jersey. Recently, the New Jersey Attorney General resigned over ethical violations. Kean is no stranger to the destruction a corrupt government causes and is committed to the cause of reform to clean up not only corrupt politicans, but wasteful bureaucratic spending and expansive government agencies.

Kean understands that funding education is essential but that it must come with accountability. Projects and organizations that are achieving results should be funded and expanded. Bureaucracies and programs that are failing students and parents should be defunded and discarded. Throwing money at a problem without taking the time to ensure results just wastes money and condemns American youth to second-class status in the global economy.

As a supporter of lower taxes, Kean understands that this must come with lower spending. While the economy is growing and reducing the impact that the budget deficit has on the economy, much greater gains would be made if wasteful spending never took place to begin with. Ending absurd taxes such as the marriage penalty and the ever-expansive alternative minumum tax would not shackle the middle class. The best way to create jobs is to keep the cost of running and expanding businesses economical.

Kean would be a solid voice for conservative values in the United States Senate where it seems to be needed the most. Please consider contributing to the Kean campaign.

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Do you blog? Instead of just expressing anger and dismay at what is going on in Washington, D.C., please join us in working to increase Republican majorities, elect more conservatives and defeat liberals everywhere. It is the only way we will ever win!

Remember: Refusing to support Republicans won't hurt the RINO factions, it will only help Democrats and their far-left liberal kook base seize power! Thank you.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 4th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 40 captions for this picture from AFP/File/Miguel Rojo via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- Castro, Fidel... while Cuba burns.

charles austin


-- "Yo, Barkeep, one Cuba Libré over here!... PSYCHE!!!"

Cowboy Blob


-- "Communism is the equivalent of everybody in Cuba pulling my finger."

D. Carter


-- Fidel announces that he is transferring power, temporarily, to the shadow puppet on his left.

DaveD


-- Castro tests the old adage: "You don't need a mortician to know which way the wind blows."

Dave E.


-- ♫ One - Singular sensation... ♫
Doc


-- Fidel comes up 996 "points of light" short...

hatless in hattiesburg


-- "Mira! Mira! The Mothership returns to take me home!"

Maggie


-- Reuters photoshopped this. Notice, the first light is the same as the third one.

the man


-- Fidel discovers that, in his afterlife, he can speak nonstop for years at a time, and concludes he must be in Heaven. His audience knows better.

McGehee


-- All of the electricity in Cuba is used to light Fidel during his important speeches.

-- CASTRO: "Give me liberty, or give me death!"
AIDE (off camera): "Sir, that's the wrong speech!"
CASTRO: "Ahem, sorry!... If you want liberty, you'll get death!"

-- "And now, a word from our sponsor, Venezuelan-owned Citgo."

Pam


-- "Move that one! Right now! What have I told you about 'shining light' on my policies?"

The Random Yak


-- "What happens in Cuba, stays in Cuba... forever!... Well, you know what I mean."

rodney dill


-- It wasn't until 30 hours later that the Cuban people realized that Fidel had not moved!

sgtfluffy


-- "I swear upon Lenin's Tomb that I am as healthy as... aaaarrrrgh!!!" [THUD!]

T.M.


-- "My fellow Cubes, ask not what you can do for your country, but what you can do for me."

Trias


-- "Walk into the light, you old dirty bastard! Walk into the light!"

-- "Fidel, you have been judged by God, and your punishment will be to serve as Uday and Qusay's towel-boy in the sulfurous spas of Hell!"

V the K


-- ♫ And when I die, and when I'm gone, there'll be one child born in this world to carry on, carry on. ♫

-- ♫ Overture, curtains, lights! This is it, the night of nights. No more rehearsing or nursing the part, we know every part by heart!
Overture, curtains, lights! This is it, we'll hit the heights! And oh what heights we'll hit, on with the show this is it! ♫

-- "We'll go for one point after the TD, guys."

-- "...And I'm going to put the next pitch right in the centerfield bleachers for little Elian, who's in the hospital."

-- "...And Red Buttons... never got a dinner."

-- "But, I didn't have the salmon mousse!"

-- Lights, camera.... death!

-- Liberal Disneyland tries out their newest animatronic entry to the Hall of Heroes.

walrus


-- "I transfer my Presidential powers to my brother. I also transfer my Insane Dictator powers to someone who can put them to good use, Howard Dean."

Windhamite


-- Q: What do you get when you cross Castro with a potato?
A: A dic-tater!

Zsa Zsa
[Pa-rum-pum!]


THE TOP TEN:

#10: ♫ Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive... ♫

ScottG


#9: "...But, I wanted to go that way when I died!"

Special Ed


#8: "Wait! Before you kill them, let me make sure I'm upwind!"

The Random Yak


#7: "...And to my brother, I leave my 1953 Olds Cutlass."

DL


#6: "And one more thing... you still can't leave the island!"

Anna


#5: Fidel Castro astonishes the world by defecting during a San Diego Padres double-header.

D. Carter
[Nice play off the partially obscured message on the wall!]


#4: The Cardassians would never release Castro, so long as he insisted there were four lights.

V the K
[It's a Star Trek: The Next Generation thing. Trust me, it's very clever!]


#3: "Okay, one final question from Helen Thomas, and then I really must die."

walrus


#2: VOICE: "Fidel, walk towards the light..."
FIDEL: "That light?"

Beerme


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: "Beam me up, Ché!"

Maggie


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Right Hand to God Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition


PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #4:

Rage in the Cage Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

The Conservative Cat

Did I Miss An Attack?

It's official. The Bush Administration simply hasn't done enough to protect Americans since 9-11. Senator Clinton says so.

SCHENECTADY, NY: Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, apossible contender for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination in 2008, on Monday criticized the Bush administration for failing to do enough to protect the country from terrorists.

[...]

"We've done some things right," the New York senator said at a community event in Schenectady. "Obviously we've beefed up airport security in some ways, but as we've learned over the last week not in every way that matters. We still have not done what we need to do to protect our ports, our borders, our bridges, our transit systems, our rail lines, it's a long list."

"I don't think our long-term strategy for homeland security is yet what it needs to be," she said.

I must have missed something. Were the terrorists successful last week, or were their plans foiled? Foiled, right? And wasn't some of that success due to the NSA surveillance program and the CIA? Yup.

In celebrating the British victory--which was achieved with assistance from American and Pakistani intelligence services--it is worth considering some of the aspects in which the U.S. and U.K. antiterrorism systems differ, and what lessons can be learned. Of course, we begin with the proposition that the U.S. and Britain share a common-law heritage, with its emphasis on individual rights and limitations on state power, and many of same basic political values. That said, British law, political culture and sensibilities appear to be far more attuned to the practical needs of preventing terrorist attacks than do their American counterparts. Some examples include the following:

That's an article Sen. Clinton should read, if she really wants to help in the war on terror. And, by the way, when did she start using "Rodham" again?

cross-posted at Joust The Facts.

Captions Outrageous! [Right Hand to God Edition]

The above photo of Ambassador Bolton and his wicked 'stache comes to us from AFP/Timothy A. Clary via Yahoo! [Broken link.]

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, AUGUST 15th:

Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Bloggin' Outloud
# Blogmeister USA [Where Mr. Right finished 5th & 6th last week.]
Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu [Where Mr. Right finished 2nd last week.]
The Bullwinkle Blog [Where Mr. Right finished 3rd last week.]
Commonwealth Conservative
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
A Limey In Bermuda
## Lucky Dawg News [Where Mr. Right WON last week (and placed 4th, too)!]
Outside the Beltway
RIGHTLINX
Villainous Company
WILLisms [Where Mr. Right finished 2nd last week.]
Wizbang!

# = 8/12, Link updated with newest contest.
## = 8/15, Link updated with newest contest.

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

Junichiro Has Left the Building Edition
Out to Launch Edition
Dissenting Opinion Edition
White Raspbeary Edition
Totally Busted Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

Castle Argghhh!
The Truth Laid Bear
Marathon Pundit

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB Caption Jam

******************************

UPDATE 8/22:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Wictory Wednesday - August 9, 2006

Well, it's Wednesday again, but this week, for the first time, I am going to break with the crowd and instead spotlight...





You can donate to any or all of the highlighted candidates from 18 important and hotly contested House and Senate races nationwide by going HERE and following the simple instructions provided.


******************************

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Do you blog? Instead of just expressing anger and dismay at what is going on in Washington, D.C., please join us in working to increase Republican majorities, elect more conservatives and defeat liberals everywhere. It is the only way we will ever win!

Remember: Refusing to support Republicans won't hurt the RINO factions, it will only help Democrats and their far-left liberal kook base seize power! Thank you.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Totally Busted Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 3rd Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

As expected, an especially good one! Sorry this wasn't up yesterday, but I was too tired last night to give it the attention it deserved so that it could be judged in a fair and efficient manner.

Presenting the top 30 captions for this picture from Igor Khodzinskiy via Sun-Sentinel.com.



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- Susan MacDougal's hard work and stoic silence paid off with one of the finest abstract soap sculpures a federal prisoner had ever produced.

Beerme


-- Venus de My, Oh My, Oh My.

charles austin


-- More proof that there is not a fetish out there that can't be found on the internet.

-- Because of the insufficient amount of stone to complete Senator Clinton’s calves and thighs, the artist stuck to portraying her less noticeable qualities.

-- Following the Democrat mantra of gun control, Hillary has set an example by disarming herself first.

Dr. Phat Tony


-- The maquette for the fifth face on Mt. Rushmore was unveiled, reviled... and re-veiled!

Greg Finnegan


-- Hillary Clinton to star in an updated version of the film A Farewell to Arms.

John Ruberry


-- Hillary finally finds a way to be rid of her fat a**!

Rodney Dill


-- An artist captured in stone an image of the only breasts that were not fondled in the Clinton White House.

Stephen Macklin


-- When Giuliani was Mayor, this trash was kept out of NYC museums!

the man


-- Hillary sues the Museum of Sex for making her bust look too feminine.

-- After years of trying to get Bill to put her there, Hillary is finally put on a pedestal.

Pam


-- A fitting example of Hillary's personality: Stone Cold.

RFA


-- Keyword search: Mature, Nostril-Fetish, Pencil-Necked, Dominatrix, Cattle-Futures, 2008

-- And then our hero, Perseus, whilst viewing his quarry with his brazen shield, did hold up a looking glass, whereby the monster beheld her own gaze...

Steve O


-- Next on Nightline: A surgically-enhanced Hillary Clinton looks toward a run for the Presidency with newfound confidence.

T.M.


-- Animal rights activists in the northeast have been replacing salt licks with hideous statues like this one to scare the deer away from hunting areas.

-- H.R. Giger's original concept for the Alien Queen was too frightening for mainstream movie-goers.

-- This hideous figurehead adorned the prow of Lord Nelson's flagship, and is believed to be responsible for frightening the French Fleet into scuttling their own ships at the Battle of Trafalgar.

V the K


-- Medusa, shorn of her snakes.

walrus


THE TOP TEN:

#10: Thus was the Dark Queen defeated, as Raistlin cast a spell which turned even the depths of Hell to impregnable stone...

Steve O


#9: What Natalie Maines keeps on her piano.

walrus


#8: Victoria's Secret blamed their bankruptcy on "those butt ugly discount mannequins our idiot management bought."

V the K


#7: The Hall of Shame announces it's first inductee.

walrus


#6: The artist said he had no trouble getting former President Carter to pose in his mansiere.

Dave E.


#5: (To the tune of "Bette Davis Eyes")

♫ And with a look she'll seize you
She'll unease you
All the better just to freeze you
She's precocious, and she says just
What it takes to make a pro blush
All the boys think she's heavyweight
She's got Jimmy Carter's face ♫

Greg


#4: "I dreamt I was President in my Maidenform Bra."

Doc


#3: Even Hillary was not immune to the stare of Helen Thomas.

walrus


#2: So the Lord struck down those cities and the entire plain, including all those living in the cities — and also the vegetation in the land. But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt... with Jimmy Carter's face and honkers. --- Genesis 19:25-26

V the K


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: The newly discovered "Uranus de Milo".

walrus


THE BIG BONUS!!!

(To the tune of "Killer Queen")

♫ She keeps Murdoch and McCain in her White House Cabinet
'It takes a village' she says
She's a card-carrying socialist
No built-in remedy for Fonda or Kennedy
And anytime an invitation you should decline
Cankles and a shrill voice we must have a better choice
Extr'ordinarily vile

We must stop Hillary by any means necessary
Dynamite or a lazer beam
Guaranteed to blow her mind
Please do not elect her twice
Her bark is worse than her bite wanna try?

To avoid complications
Bill never met a woman he didn't like
In conversation she spoke like an aging dyke
Met a man from Arkansas broke a major real-estate law
Then again incidentally if she's that way inclined (can you say Whitewater?)
Support came naturally from Paris (naturally)
For the Senate she couldn't care less
Deceptive yet precise

We must stop Hillary by any means necessary
Dynamite or a lazer beam
Guaranteed to blow her mind
Please do not elect her twice
Her bark is worse than her bite wanna try?

Change of a poll she's as willing as a vascillating John Kerry
Then momentarily not a liberal
Temporarily not far Left
To absolutely drive Sheehan wild - wild
She wants the White House

We must stop Hillary by any means necessary
Dynamite or a lazer beam
Guaranteed to blow her mind
Please do not elect her twice
Her bark is worse than her bite wanna try?

Wanna try ♫

Damian G.


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

Dissenting Opinion Edition
White Raspbeary Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #3:

Things Are Looking Up Edition

Blogs for Heather Wilson

Our good buddy, Chris from Lucky Dawg News, would like me to remind you all that a very good Republican Congresswoman from his neck of the woods, New Mexico's Heather Wilson, is facing a very tough re-election battle against a John Kerry crony named Patricia Madrid. If you would like more information, please check out...

(Click on graphic.)

Rep. Wilson just happens to be both a United States Air Force Veteran and a Rhodes Scholar! What a dynamite combination that is!

Give 'em Hell, Heather!

Overdue Linkage...

Some interesting things from earlier this week I meant to link to, but got lost due to computer problems and a time crunch...

A new initiative has been formed by some excellent right-leaning bloggers to combat the loony left and support key Republican candidates in very important and close races nationwide: Rightroots. One of the key players in this effort is the Great Lorie Byrd who blogs about the new project over at Wizbang! Please check it out and contribute if you can, and if you blog, give 'em a link! Thanks!

Harvey of IMAO fame linked to an old article of Stephen Johnson's as part of a precision guided humor assignment piece he did earlier this week. Check it out, it's pretty funny! He crossposted it, of course, at IMAO, too. Thanks for all the extra hits this week, Harvey!

Finally, if you are looking for another good political song parody, I've got one for you: Molten Thought presents Stand by Iran [hat-tip: Pat Curley.]

I hope to get to some long overdue things around here later this week. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Wictory Wednesday Saturday - August 5, 2006

This is very, very late in coming, but I've had a long week.

Thanks, as always, to Mr. John Bambenek...

This week, Wictory Wednesday presents Thelma Drake for US Congress for the Second District of Virginia. Representative Drake is running for reelection for her second term in the Congress and is running against MoveOn backed candidate Phillip Kellam. Polls indicate this will be a tight race, and from the amount of money being poured in by MoveOn, a race of importance in 2006.

Rep. Drake has been a supporter of victory in Iraq, rejecting calls to surrender to terrorists and leave the region in chaos. By providing support that the troops need, it gives the military and administration the latitude needed to do the hard work of reconstruction.

Also a supporter of free trade, Rep. Drake has voted to create a free trade zone in South America to further economic development that is beneficial to all parties. Many protectionists keep railing against the trade deficit without realizing that the trade deficit does more for other countries developing their economies than humanitarian aid could ever do.

Lastly, in the light of the recent debate on immigration, Rep. Drake gets it. Regulating the flow of immigrants is not xenophobia, it is common sense. It is one thing to be generous in allowing immigrants to come here to build a better life. It is another to have no real border and allow anyone, including terrorists, free reign across the border. Immigration is healthy for a county, unregulated flaunting of a border is not.

Please consider supporting Thelma Drake in her race for reelection.

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

Do you blog? Instead of just expressing anger and dismay at what is going on in Washington, D.C., please join us in working to increase Republican majorities, elect more conservatives and defeat liberals everywhere. It is the only way we will ever win!

Remember: Refusing to support Republicans won't hurt the RINO factions, it will only help Democrats and their far-left liberal kook base seize power! Thank you.

Captions Outrageous! [Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition]

The above photo comes to us from AFP/File/Miguel Rojo via Yahoo!

This contest will last approximately one week, Fidel may not.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, AUGUST 8th:

Totally Busted Edition

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog Where Mr. Right WON last week!
Commonwealth Conservative
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel Where Mr. Right WON last week!
GOP and the City Where Mr. Right placed 3rd last week.
Lucky Dawg News Where Mr. Right WON last week!
Outside the Beltway
WILLisms
Wizbang!

New to the list...

Cowboy Blob's [h/t Pam, but hurry, time's almost up!]
RIGHTLINX [Brought to you by our old friend Bullwinkle!]


And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE 8/5:

Another of our regular players has started a contest of their very own! Please click over and help make Pam's new contest a big success!
Blogmeister USA


UPDATE 8/8:

The newest contests are waiting for you at:

Lucky Dawg News
and Outside the Beltway

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

Russian Hands and Roman Fingers Edition
Junichiro Has Left the Building Edition
Out to Launch Edition
Dissenting Opinion Edition
White Raspbeary Edition

******************************

Thanks for the links!

Marathon Pundit
Castle Argghhh!

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

******************************

UPDATE 8/15:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [White Raspbeary Edition]

I am very sorry that this is so late, but after several unsuccessful attempts at posting it yesterday, I decided to perform some much needed maintenance to my computer and try it again today!


Announcing the winners of the 2nd Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 30 captions for this picture from AP Photo/Martin Meissner via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "Another ruined passport photo, Moishé! Always with the meshuggeneh faces!"

Beerme


-- I'm sure tired of kissing the you know what of the French.

-- Mr. Polar Bear expresses his thoughts on a 2008 contest between Hillary Clinton and John McCain.

Doc


-- This poor polar bear went to lick its tail nub... and missed.

GOP and College


-- "Owowowowowwww!!! Brain freeze!!!"

hatless in hattiesburg


-- "Hey, PETA... I like living in a zoo!"

John Ruberry


-- After viewing the Hillary Bust: "There are some things even a polar bear just won't do!"

LongTabSigO


-- Seems like polar bears have their own message to send Al Gore!

Maggie


-- "Ugh! I'll never read Glenn Greenwald's blog again!"

McGehee


-- "What would you do for a Klondike Bar?"
"Well, I sure as hell wouldn't recommend eating peace activists. Ugh! Too much patchouli aftertaste."

Pam


-- Tune in tonight for Animal Planet's An Inconvenient Tongue.

-- Polar bear dreaming of a salt-lick in the shape of a former female Co-President...

-- Under a $12 million park services grant, researchers teach 6 bears how to NOT lick aluminum telephone poles.

-- The very rare "aardbear", native only to photoshop pictures of ANWR.

-- And with one final "slooooop" the bear finished off the last bit of Al Gore.

-- "Hey, Al! Pthtphtphthpthpthpptpptpth...!"

Steve O


-- "Meep! Meep!"

-- "Sufferin' Succotash!"

-- "Man, that last penguin was a tad over-ripe!"

-- One reviewer of An Inconvienient Truth was not impressed.

walrus


THE TOP TEN:

#10: "Oooh! That last hiker tasted terrible! Don't eat the 'green' ones!"

Adjustah


#9: Actually, for some, it only takes one lick to get to finish a Tootsie Pop!

walrus


#8: "Please take your receipt. Thank you for shopping at Polar Mart."

Beerme


#7: Not even the Coca-Cola polar bear likes new Coca-Cola Blak.

Pam


#6: A rude polar bear heckles former VP Al Gore:
"Hey, Al! Pull my tongue! I'll show you some greenhouse gasses."

Dave E.


#5: How many licks does it take to get to the chewy center of an igloo?

the man


#4: Let's see... how many different ways can one imply that Gene Simmons had carnal relations with a polar bear?

V the K


#3: Bob's tongue was never quite the same after the kids talked him into licking the North Pole.

Beerme


#2: "Ewwwww!!! I don't like this new Ben & Jerry's flavor: Bill Clinton's Vanilla Cream."

Damian G.


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: ...And now, a message from the Truth Laid Bear...

Rodney Dill
[Ed. Note: Okay, so it's an inside blogger joke, but it was just too clever to ignore!]


BONUS!!!

A terrific photoshop from hatless in hattiesburg...




Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Totally Busted Edition]

Enjoy!


SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

Dissenting Opinion Edition


PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #2:

Fickle Finger of Fate Edition

Is That a Broadsword, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

Just PLEASE tell me he wasn't wearing a kilt!