HAPPY BLOGIVERSARY, T.M. ERGIN!

One of our Right Place family members just celebrated his Second Blogiversary the other day, so be sure to drop by Joust the Facts and wish T.M., er... "Giacomo", all the best!

Captions Outrageous! [Wake Up and Smell the Kofi Edition]

Continuing our streak of international ill-will, the above photo comes to us from AFP/Getty Images/Chris Hondros via Yahoo! Sadly, Mister Kofi will soon be leaving his post as UN Secretariat's Genitals, so have some fun cracking this particular piñata apart while you still can.

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, OCTOBER 3rd:

Captions Outrageous! [Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition]

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog
The Clash of Civilizations
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
Lucky Dawg News [Where Mr. Right WON last week!]
Outside the Beltway [Where Mr. Right had a 3rd place finish last week.]
RIGHTLINX
WILLisms
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE 10/3: NEW CONTESTS!

GOP and College
Outside the Beltway

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition
#10 - Make Love, Not Jihad Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

Marathon Pundit

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

******************************

UPDATE 10/10:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Wictory Wednesday - September 27, 2006

This week Wictory Wednesday presents Max Burns for the US Congress for the 12th District of Georgia. He is running a tight race against Democratic incumbent John Barrow.

The Israeli war in Lebanon has shown what will happen if we pull out of Iraq… the terrorists will claim victory and emerge even stronger and more emboldened. Max Burns understands this and supports the troops to complete their mission. We should live in a society that respects and supports those who risk their lives for our benefit. Sadly, we don't live in that society.

Max Burns understands that immigration doesn't require reform; it requires actually enforcing the laws on the books. Not enforcing the law has led to lawlessness and before any question of guest workers can be introduced, law and order needs to return to that segment of society.

The infamous "Bridge to Nowhere" has shown us that even a GOP lead Congress can still waste money. That is why earmark reform and a line item veto is all the more necessary. When pork can be put into budgets without debate (earmarks), the line item veto allows voters to put the heat on the President to bring sense back to Congressional spending. The GOP has gotten half of the equation right in lowering taxes… now they need to cut spending. Max Burns supports this in the form of a balanced budget.

Families waste days and weeks each year trying to figure out their "fair share" of taxes. Not even the IRS can figure out the tax code… a book that is over 12 times larger than the Bible! Max Burns supports cleaning up the tax code so that families can clearly understand what the owe… and the IRS can even figure it out too.

Please consider donating or volunteering to the Max Burns campaign. Help turn this blue seat red!

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Make Love, Not Jihad Edition]

Sorry this is late, but my (hopefully temporarily) screwed up schedule has struck again! For those looking for a CAPHOG update, I'm dividing it into quarters this time around, meaning look for the first one following contest #13 in a few weeks! Oh, the suspense..."

Announcing the winners of the 10th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 40 captions for this picture from AFP/File/Behrouz Mehri via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "This is how many Jews actually died in the 'holocaust'!"

-- "And then, if the infidels do not convert, you take two eighteen-inch surgical steel needles and..."

-- "Hey, President Bush! Pick two, Porcupine! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!"

Beerme


-- "You in the second row - look into my eyes - I mean it this time, no more camel jokes."

burke


-- "No, Mahmoud, no one thinks you're impression of Winston Churchill is any good."

Carl


-- "There are two things wrong with your statement. First, I love my donkey. Second, she understands that I am a busy man and can't give her all the time she wants."

GOP and College


-- ♫ So BUUUUUUUY, buy this Iranian Pie
Drove the warhead off to Zion so that Zion would fry.
Those in-fi-dels can drink their whiskey and rye
and sing "This will be the day that I die." ♫

Greg


-- "Fascism, fa-shizzle!"

-- Mahmoud teaches the newest terrorist nursery rhyme: "One, two, blow up your shoe..."

Kyle


-- "Mr. Ahmadinejad, an Iranian threesome consists of you and how many camels? Good, good. Your math is up to speed."

-- "Mr. Ahmadinejad - how long is your... your... um... wait, let me finish the question. How long is your stay in New York going to be?"

N.B. Goldstein


-- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attends Woodstock 2006, where he enjoys music, Patchouli, Birkenstocks, the odd toke of Mary-Jane, and meeting influential Americans, such as Jane Fonda and John Kerry.

Pam


-- "I can stick both my feet in my mouth at the same time."

-- "And when I wear my special Korean shoes, I am 2 inches taller."

radio free fred


-- In the ensuing silence, President Ahmadinejad wondered why the members of the Star Trek convention did not respond positively to his wishes that they "live long and prosper."

The Random Yak


-- "No, I don't need a camel. I had sex with two goats this morning."
"Uh, sir, what I meant was: Do you want a cigarette?"

-- "No, no! It is Mohammed and Allah, there is not Mohammed Ali in Islam."

-- "I bid two camels for Condi. Mahmoud like Condi!"

-- "Chee-burger, chee-burger!"

Rodney Dill


-- "...And to the ladies, peace and humptiness forever."

Steve O


-- "...And then, Little Rabbit Foo-Foo was shot for being a Zionist Collaborator. Allahu Akhbar!"

V the K


-- ♫ Two can be sad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one. ♫

-- After mastering the science of nuclear weapons, they go for the next step... shadow puppets.

-- For the second and last time, I am NOT Henry Winkler!

-- "Two bullets for every Joooo! That's our promise here at Crazy Mahmoud's."

-- Swami Mahmoud sez: "Steelers by two, take the points."

-- Fours stars; three microphones; two fingers; and one crazy mutha'!

-- "Steeeeeeee-riiiiiiiiike two!"

-- "I give the filthy joo who took my tie two minutes to give it back."

-- Mahmoud answers the age old question: "One hump or two?"

walrus


THE TOP TEN:

#10: "NOBODY expects the Islamic Jihad!! Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise.... Our *two* weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Ayatollah.... Our *four*... no.... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again...."

JorgXMcKie


#9: "As you can see, just the threat of a Three Stooges eye-poke is enough to reduce the French Ambassador to the posture of a submissive, sobbing dhimmi."

V the K


#8: ♫ Ev'rybody's talking about:
Facism, Shagism, Bushism, Madism, Ragism, Popeism
This-ism, that-ism, ism, ism, ism.
All we are saying... is give "the Religion of Peace" a chance. ♫

the man


#7: "I will not train a future martyr to become a suicide bomber until he's at least this old."

Darrell


#6: "Far out! Now, I want everyone to stay away from the brown acid. A lot of people are getting sick from it. Unless you're an infidel, don't take the brown acid, okay?"

Beerme


#5: "On my honor, I pledge to kill Jews first, Christians second, Sunnis third, atheists fourth, to annex Iraq, to turn Europe into Eurabia, and to obey the laws of the pack."

Doc


#4: "That's right! Using the excess hair stores on my bum, I was able to have a fuller, more lush head of hair in just two weeks!"

Damian G.


#3: "And the second name I hate is 'I'm-a-Dinner-Jacket', because: Hello! Does this look like a dinner jacket?"

Beerme


#2: "Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Two orange whips."

Cowboy Blob


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: Iran joins the international rock, paper, scissors race: "What you mean, 'Iraq beats scissors'?"

walrus meets Rodney Dill


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #10:

The Eyes Have It Edition

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Thanks for the link!

The Conservative Cat

Winning Afghanistan

2004 Presidential runner-up John Kerry, Senator from Massachusetts, penned an op-ed for the Wall Street Journal today, admonishing the Bush administration to get their act together in Afghanistan. In it we find hysteria, false choices, straw men, and other rhetorical devices that failed Mr. Kerry in 2004, and so it's curious why he should believe they'll be more effective now.

If Washington seems to have forgotten Afghanistan, it is clear the Taliban and al Qaeda have not. Less than five years after American troops masterfully toppled the Taliban, the disastrous diversion in Iraq has allowed these radicals the chance to rise again. Time is running out to reverse an unfolding disaster in the war we were right to fight after 9/11.

"Time is running out to reverse an unfolding disaster?" That sounds as dire a warning as Mr. Bush's/Mr. Kerry's/Mr. Rockefeller's/Mr. Clinton's/etc. warning about the dangers of having WMD in the hands of someone like Saddam Hussein. There's your dose of hysteria and scare-mongering. Democrats often accuse Mr. Bush of using the threat of terrorism to scare the public into voting Republican. The truth is that both sides try to scare the public, each in their own way, and each for their own purposes. Just think about the Social Security battle if you don't believe me.

When did denying al Qaeda a safe haven in Afghanistan cease to be an urgent American priority? Somehow, we ended up with seven times more troops in Iraq--which even the administration now admits had nothing to do with 9/11--than in Afghanistan, where the killers still roam free.

Who says that Afghanistan has ceased to be an "urgent ... priority?" There's your straw man. Afghanistan is now a NATO operation - you know, Senator, working with your allies and all that. That the Taliban are reorganizing and fighting back is unsurprising. That additional offensive operations will ultimately be necessary is similarly unsurprising. The question is, is Afghanistan in danger of falling back under the control of the Taliban? The answer is no. That is not to say that they can't still resist by murdering Afghani civilians with terrorist tactics.

Quite simply, we must change course--starting with the immediate deployment of at least 5,000 additional U.S. troops. That includes more special forces to defeat the Taliban, more civil affairs troops to bolster the promising Provisional Reconstruction Teams, more infantry to prevent Taliban infiltration from Pakistan, and more clandestine intelligence units to hunt al Qaeda on both sides of the border.

Would more troops be helpful? No doubt. Are they necessary? Well, Mr. Kerry states that the U.S. NATO commander made an "urgent plea" for more. But, as he notes later in the article, it's not the U.S. that is lacking in troops. And because the other nations have not pulled their weight, the U.S. must therefore pick up the slack and act more ... what's the word ... unilaterally.

Asked which of the 26 countries in the alliance were dragging their feet in Afghanistan, Gen. Jones replied, "All of them." Where allies have pledged troops and assistance, they must follow through. But we must lead by example. That's how you win hearts and minds, and show the world the true face of America--and that's how you win the war on terror.

Finally, Mr. Kerry sets up another straw man, and knocks him down as the editorial concludes.

We cannot afford to repeat the mistakes of the past. The U.S. must not cut and run from the real front line in the war on terror. We must recommit to victory in Afghanistan.

The Bush administration made a mistake by cutting and running in Afghanistan? Who knew?

The veil over this entire piece is the unnecessary and detrimental war in Iraq, stealing troops and resources from the "real war." What makes Mr. Kerry think that it's necessary to lose in Iraq so that we can win in Afghanistan?

Of course, there is someone who disagrees with Mr. Kerry's pessimistic assessment.

And [Afghan President Hamid Karzai] dismissed suggestions that the U.S. attack on Iraq in 2003 motivated militants to engage in violence.

"Iraq is not a complicating factor," Karzai said. "Those who hate us for whatever reason hated us before 2001" and the attacks that year on the World Trade Center in New York and the Pentagon.

The Afghan president said it would take at least 10 years of dedicated international opposition to defeat terrorism.

Later, Karzai accepted an honorary doctor of laws degree from Georgetown University.

In brief remarks, he described advances in the social sector in Afghanistan since the fall of the Taliban in 2001.

In contrast to the Taliban policy of denying education rights to girls, he said girls now account for 35 percent of total school enrollment in the country.

He said 80 percent of Afghans now have access to health services, compared with 9 percent under the Taliban.

Karzai expressed gratitude for the help and sacrifice of the United States on Afghanistan's behalf over the past five years.

Some Very Sad News...

As many of you likely already know, Kitty Myers' mother has been very ill for some time now. Yesterday, Kitty posted the news that her mom has passed on. Our heart and prayers go out to Kitty and her family in this most difficult of times.

Captions Outrageous! [Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition]

The above photo comes to us from AFP/File/Tim Clary via Yahoo, and was way too good to pass up!

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 26th:

Make Love, Not Jihad Edition

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UPDATE: 9/24

Don't miss these hilarious spinoffs from this contest!

First, Cowboy Blob left us a link to this little gem in the comments section.

Next, Stew was inspired to create this hysterically funny movie sequel.

Click and enjoy!

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog #1
The Bullwinkle Blog #2 [Reverse Caption Contest!]
The Clash of Civilizations
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
IMAO
Lucky Dawg News
Outside the Beltway
Riding Sun
RIGHTLINX
Sgt. Hook
WILLisms
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

Marathon Pundit

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

******************************

UPDATE 10/3:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Beyond Her Grasp Edition]

Sorry for the delay. Due to vacations and people suddenly quitting, I have been working extra hours, including day shifts after night shifts with little sleep. Unfortunately, this may continue for a little while yet. Please be patient with me, I will try to continue with the festivities here as best I can in the meantime.

Announcing the winners of the 9th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 30 captions for this picture from AFP/Getty Images/File via Yahoo!




HONORABLE MENTION:
[CLARIFYING NOTES: The perpetrator of each caption is listed below the caption. Multiple captions listed together are from the same author. In case of two or more submissions of the same caption, preference is given to the person who entered it first, though someone offering a much better version of the same general idea may win out, even if they entered it later.]

-- "How do I keep my youthful appearance? Well, I sleep under a pyramid. It's shaped like this. I should get a lighter one, though..."


--"Yeah, the Democrat Party is like a big tent... and the sinuous cords in my neck are like the tent poles, see?"

Beerme


-- "Dispatch WarRocket Ajax and bring back his body!"

Cowboy Blob
[Winner: Obscure reference of the week award! (Not counting the Black Adder and Renfield entries that just missed the cut.)]


-- "You know, except for all of the little African children who toiled in the dark, mining for my diamond earrings, I really do care about the little guy."

Damian G.


-- "We will hold the White House hostage for... One MILLLLION dollars!"

-- It was sickening enough to see Pelosi speak, but when she started using her thumbs to wiggle her neck flap, my stomach lost it.

GOP and College


-- "Just to let you know, I have a whole bag of 'SHHHH!' here with your name on it."

-- In an effort to reach out to midwest voters, Nancy attempted to recount the poem "This is the church, this is the steeple..." but couldn't remember what part of it rhymed with "Jesus Freaks."

Greg


-- Rep. Pelosi demonstrates how ineffective Botox is in eliminating the condition known as "man hands."

Hoodlumman


-- "All I ask for is caucus members with frickin' laser beams on their heads!"

I R A Darth Aggie


-- "Ya see, the bulldog clamps attach to the back of my head like this... I can easily squeeze twenty to thirty years into those suckers... and that covers me between injections."

MagicalPat


-- It finally dawned on his aides, John Kerry needed to lay off the botox.

the man


-- "Now, you see, the Ancient Greeks had these thingies called - um - pyramids. And they were really neat. I think this is exactly what we need in California. It will be the largest public housing project ever. Yeah, that's it. Now, this will represent only a modest tax increase..."

N.B. Goldstein


-- FRANKEN: "...And so, that's how I feel about you, Nancy."
PELOSI: "Well, I'm flattered, Al. If I didn't have aspirations of becoming the first leather handbag to be Speaker of the House..."

Stew


-- "After November, Constitutionally, it goes: Impeached President, Impeached Vice President... then ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

-- "...Errr, ummmm, ahhhh, I'm not really sure about this 'under oath' business."

-- "Ahh, but the strawberries, that's... that's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes but I proved beyond the shadow of a doubt, and with... geometric logic... that a duplicate key to the wardroom icebox DID exist, and I'd have produced that key if they hadn't of pulled the Caine out of action. I, I, I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow officers..."

-- "Why, no, Denny, I haven't seen your Speaker's gavel. Is it missing... again?"

-- "Has anyone seen my brain? It was about this big and squishy."

-- "My head used to come to a point, like this, but then... plastic surgery is a wonder!"

walrus


THE TOP TEN:

#10: "... Go ahead, Sleepless in Seattle, I'm listening..."

walrus


#9: "And now, young Jedi... you will die."

spacemonkey


#8: "What have I ever done to make you treat me so disrespectfully? If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if, by chance, an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies. And then they would fear you."

walrus


#7: Rumors of Joan Crawford's death were greatly exagerated.

John Ruberry


#6: "If Hillary thinks she's the top Democratic bitch, she's got another think coming..."

Pam


#5: "Filthy, nasty, Republicanses! Cheney STOLE it from us! We hates them! We HATES them!"

Steve O


#4: "Excellent..."

Stew


#3: "No, Mr. Bush, I expect you to die!"

walrus


#2: "This is the church... Here is the steeple... Open the door... And there's the ACLU to sue all the people."

sgtfluffy


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...

#1: "I'm going to get you, W... and your little Congress, too!"

I R A Darth Aggie


BONUS!

hatless in hattiesburg

Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Make Love, Not Jihad Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition


PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #9:

His Cup Runneth Over Edition

Remain Calm! All Is Well!

I tried, really I did, but my schedule is all screwed up right now.

The results of the last caption contest have been unavoidably delayed.

I will post them ASAP, likely Wednesday evening.

Sorry, everybody, but it should be worth the wait.

A lot of these entries are damned funny! You folks rock! Have I told you that lately?

Captions Outrageous! [Make Love, Not Jihad Edition]

The above photo comes to us from AFP/File/Behrouz Mehri via Yahoo!

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 19th:

Beyond Her Grasp Edition

******************************

I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Brainfuel
Bravo Zulu
The Bullwinkle Blog
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
A Limey In Bermuda
Lucky Dawg News
Outside the Beltway
RIGHTLINX
WILLisms
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE - TUESDAY, 9/19: NEW CONTESTS...

The Clash of Civilizations
Lucky Dawg News
Outside the Beltway
Riding Sun
Sgt. Hook

******************************

MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition

******************************

Thanks for the link!

Marathon Pundit

This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

******************************

UPDATE 9/28:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

ANOTHER RIGHT PLACE SATIRE REWIND...

In honor of today's headlines, a look back at a Right Place classic...


We Now Join the "Save Air America Radio" Telethon, Already in Progress...

AL FRANKEN: Hello. It's me again, Al Franken. It is now hour number 14 of the Save Air America Radio Telethon on Current, the wonderful new "non-partisan" cable television network co-owned by our good friend, the one and only truly legitimate President of the United States, Al Gore! Thank you, Al!

JANEANE GAROFALO: Yes, thank you, Al! And thank you, too, Al!

AL FRANKEN: No, thank you, Janeane! And a great big thank you to all the wonderful folks at Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club!

JANEANE GAROFALO: (Whispering) Uhh... ixnay on the Loriagay Iseway, Al!

AL FRANKEN: Oh, right! Forget I said anything! By the way, Janeane, were you aware that Al Gore invented the Internet? And that he and his wife Tipper were the inspiration for "Love Story"?

JANEANE GAROFALO: Of course, Al! What a truly great American he is! And what a shame it is that his Presidency was stolen from him by that Nazi douchebag, Chimpy Bushitler!

AL FRANKEN: And that is why it is so important to keep Air America Radio on the air, to bring the truth to the American people and to force all these evil fascist neocons from power! You will never ever get to hear the truth again if big fat lying idiots like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly have their way! As most of you know, the conservatives have now taken over all of the media through evil corporate conglomerates - Air America Radio is our last, best hope for the truth! Only you can save us all from a fate worse than death! The fate of the entire world rests on your generosity! Dig deep - give until it hurts! And now, let us check in with our own Jerry Springer, for the latest totals on the old tote board! Jerry?

JERRY SPRINGER: Thank you, Janeane and Al! A big wet Air America Radio kiss goes out to Ms. Carrie A. Grudge of Berkeley, California for her generous donation of $0.13 and a stale Cheeto, all of which she just found by digging deep... deep into the cushions of a couch in her dorm floor lounge! Thank you, Carrie! Every little bit helps! And after 14 hours, that brings our grand total to a stunning $227.69! Be certain to stay tuned, because later on, I will be mud wrestling two nude toothless midgets with triple-D-cup sized breasts, live on the air - and at least one of them, is a man! And now, over to you, Randi!

RANDI RHODES: Thank you, Jerry! Thank you so much! And now, I'm here with a surprise guest, Pennsylvania Democrat, Lieutenant Governor Catherine Baker Knoll! What brings you here today, Lieutenant Governor Knoll?

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: I just came by to say how sorry I am for your loss, dear.

RANDI RHODES: My loss? I don't understand...

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: I just want you to know that the State of Pennsylvania is against this terrible and illegal War in Iraq...

RANDI RHODES: Well, good for you!

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: (Hands Randi her business card) Here's my card, dear. I am the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania, you know.

RANDI RHODES: Umm, why, yes... I did already mention that...

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: I think that it is just awful your family had to lose such a fine young man because of George W. Bush and his wicked little war!

RANDI RHODES: I'm not sure I know what you're talking about...

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: Our soldiers should be home with their families, not out protecting our country against terrorists! It's just awful he had die for nothing! (Crying) These funerals always make me so sad!

RANDI RHODES: Um, Lieutenant Governor Knoll... I don't know how to tell you this... this isn't a funeral. There are no dead soldiers here.

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: (Wiping her eyes) This isn't a funeral for a fallen soldier?

RANDI RHODES: No, ma'am, there's no funeral here at all!

CATHERINE BAKER KNOLL: Well, you could have fooled me, I could have sworn this was a funeral!

JANEANE GAROFALO: Thank you, Randi! We'll be right back with more super celebrity guests spewing virulent anti-American rhetoric, like Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon, Michael Moore, Sean Penn, chess great Bobby Fischer, Bill Maher, Barbra Streisand, Ed Asner, film director Robert Altman, Whoopi Goldberg, Alec Baldwin, Woody Harrelson, Harry Belafonte, Sandra Bernhard, comedienne Margaret Cho, Martin Sheen, Danny Glover, Jane Fonda, sportscaster Jim Lampley and the Dixie Chicks, right after this important message...

ANNOUNCER: Hello. I would like to take a moment to tell you all about the Gloria Wise Boys & Girls Club. When you give a generous donation to Gloria Wise, or we receive tax-payer funds to help disadvantaged children, we want to reassure you that we will always see to it that your money is spent wisely, just as you - or the authorities, had intended...

Several weeks later...

AL FRANKEN: Hello. It's me again, Al Franken. Unfortunately, as most of you know by now, our little telethon a few weeks ago fell far short of expectations, and due to declining ratings and increasing legal costs resulting from our little, um... problem, we were forced to sell the network. As of today, you will no longer have me, Al Franken, to kick around anymore. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough. And doggone it - nobody likes me! Due to the recent buyout of the Air America Radio network, we are now turning over the airwaves to the good folks who brought the world al-Jazeera Television. It has been wonderful working here this past year and a half, and I will miss you all terribly. But that's okay, come January of 2009, I will be sworn in as the new United States Senator from Minnesota, replacing that lying sack of crap, Norm Coleman - that is, as long as enough people up there in my home state are surgically lobotomized before the election. Now, let me hand things over to your new midday host, Kamil Fukar. Take it away, Kamil!

KAMIL FUKAR: Praise be to Allah! This is Air al-Jazeera America! Death to George W. Bush!!! Death to America!!! America is the Great Satan! George W. Bush is the Devil! All Christians are infidels! The attacks of 9/11 were not committed by Muslims, it was all a plot by the Israeli Government and the evil Bush Administration to trick you! Your President is lying to you! The War in Iraq is a great sin against an innocent people! American soldiers are murdering women and children in cold blood while they rape the land and pillage its oil for an evil and corrupt capitalist government and its co-conspirators in big business! America is an evil Imperialist abomination! It is guilty of murder, torture and unspeakable crimes against the peaceful children of Islam! The war must be stopped! The great war criminal, George W. Bush must be brought to justice!...

Several hours later...

WOMAN: Is that Air America you're listening to?

MAN: Why, yes, it is!

WOMAN: I heard they have an all new line-up of talent starting today, what's it like?

MAN: New line-up? That's strange... it sounds exactly the same to me - except... I was really wondering why no one had mentioned Karl Rove yet today!

Wictory Wednesday - September 13, 2006

It's Wednesday again, time to turn it over to John Bembenek with another fine candidate worthy of our support...

This week, Wictory Wednesday is highlighting the candidacy of Jacob Turk for the United States House of Representatives for the 5th District of Missouri. He is running against incumbent Emanuel Cleaver, a career politician and far left extremist. Jacob Turk is a veteran of the US Marines and understands the difficulties and pressures faced by a military at war abroad and denigrated at home.

Turk understands that the problem with the health care system is not because we don't have socialized health care. The problem is that the patient is far removed from the decision-making process regarding the care they receive. HMOs, created by Senator Ted Kennedy (D), have largely removed the patient from the decision-making loop. HMOs decide what doctors we see, what procedures we get, and often make getting claims impossible for both doctors and patients. The result is a health care system that doesn't serve the patient. The solution is not to remove the patient even farther, but to put the patient back in control of their own health care.

Jacob Turk understands that a nation cannot sustain its economy by leaving its borders and ports open to whoever can sneak in. The discussion on immigration reform is rather meaningless. The current laws are sufficient, they just go unenforced. The result is that illegal immigrants are abused because they are cut off from society. The borders must be secured. No one will argue that terrorists should be able to sneak into the country unimpeded. We have already agreed on the laws, it's time to enforce them.

Jacob Turk understands that children should not be molested and the evidence concealed. Parental notification makes good sense. Children are not considered legally able to make decisions in any other respect except abortion because parents are considered to have their best interests in mind (until proven otherwise). With abortion, parents are considered as abusive to their children categorically and it leaves the rapist able to sneak little girls off to Planned Parenthood to cover up their crimes with abortion or birth control. That is the real sex abuse cover-up, tens of thousands of girls each year are raped and Planned Parenthood helps the rapists get away with it. Our greatest asset is our children and they deserve to be protected.

Please consider donating to Turk's campaign or volunteering to help.

This has been a production of the Wictory Wednesday blogburst. If you would like to join Wictory Wednesday, please see this post or contact John Bambenek at jcb (dot) blog [at] gmail {dot} com.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

Do you blog? Instead of just expressing anger and dismay at what is going on in Washington, D.C., please join us in working to increase Republican majorities, elect more conservatives and defeat liberals everywhere. It is the only way we will ever win!

Remember: Refusing to support Republicans won't hurt the RINO factions, it will only help Democrats and their far-left liberal kook base seize power! Thank you.

JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US! JOIN US!

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Please note: All of the fine blogs that participate in this program are listed on my right sidebar (scroll down). I apologize for being unable to put the list in my posts each week, but something about my template seems to prevent me from listing them here as others do.

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Chain of Fools Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 8th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 25+ captions for this picture from Keith Bedford/Reuters via Yahoo!



Mr. Right Says:

-- Democrats today unveiled the scale model for their proposed new national monument: "Mount No-More-Rush". Complete with monorail transportation system, it is to be constructed the moment they take control of Congress at a total cost to tax payers of $20 trillon, and was designed to help get minority voters to the polls. (Not pictured: Jesse Jackson, Maxine Waters.)


HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "Mayor of the Chocolate City or not, Ray, git yer cotton-pickin' finger outta my Hershey Highway off-ramp!"

Cowboy Blob


-- NAGIN: "See? I told you I could pick his pocket."

Dave E.


-- "After our success with the Ned Lamont robot, our scientists are using affirmative action to broaden our product line."

Doc


-- "Hey! You got an incompetent mayor in my Chocolate City!"
"Well, you got Chocolate City on my incompetent mayor!"

Greg


-- "Ray, your cable won't work. It won't give you Cindy's phone number."

Greg Finnegan


-- Siamese Racists.

hatless in hattiesburg


-- NAGIN: "That hole in the ground... is my credibility."

the man


-- Al Sharpton, King of Race Baiting, introduces his Crown Prince to the world.

-- McDonald's introduces two fun new mascots for their inner city franchises: Mayor McChocolate and the RaceBurglar...

Pam


-- Then, the mind meld went horribly awry. Three days later, they found Nagin naked in a ditch rubbing spoiled cheese on his private parts.

V the K


-- Nagin finishes pumping up the inflatible Sharpton doll.

-- NAGIN: "Gonna git me some of that tasty earwax!"

-- The Smithsonian unveils it's new model of Uranus and it's circling moon.

-- In an effort to make sense, Sharpton and Nagin try to run their brains in tandem.

walrus


-- "Commence ego siphoning in 3... 2..."

Windhamite


THE TOP TEN:

#10: SHARPTON: "Anybody hear a giant sucking sound?"

Steve O


#9: "I know we can improve your image, Ray. Hey, you weren't, by any chance, raped by a group of white men, were you?"

Beerme


#8: "Go-go Gadget Brain Probe!"

V the K


#7: Al Sharpton was beginning to think those flood waters were toxic after all.

walrus


#6: SHARPTON: "Listen to me! I'm not crazy! It's not a con this time! Aliens are injecting larvae into our brains and taking over our bod... snick... I mean, all hail our insect overlords, bringers of peace and justice!"

V the K


#5: And then, the brainbug extended its proboscis and attempted to suck out Nagin's brain. It soon starved to death.

V the K


#4: Desperate to escape, Al Sharpton's head lice construct a bridge.

V the K


#3: "We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I'd like to hear it."

Damian G.


#2: New from K-tel: Be the first in you neighborhood to own the Black Leader Mobile!

Rodney Dill


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: With the help of Senator Ted Stevens, Sharpton and Sugar Ray con $300 Million in Katrina Aid to construct another "Bridge to Nowhere."

V the K


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Beyond Her Grasp Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #8:

You're Al I Ever Wanted Edition

"Nothing Left Unsaid": We Remember Diane Theresa Lipari

This post will remain atop this blog throughout
Monday, September 11, 2006.

Diane Theresa Lipari, age 42.
World Trade Center.

Diane, a New Jersey native who lived in New York, was a commodities trader with Carr Futures and Associates and worked on the 92nd floor of the south tower. She was remembered by those who knew her best in this way...

Diane Lipari had a sustaining relationship with joy: she ate it for breakfast and served it to others for lunch. Her knack for drawing out the best in even the most difficult people allowed her to say something good about everyone. Her friends teased that when she woke in the morning, birds chirped around her. When Ed Tighe, her husband, asked what kind of golf clubs she wanted for her 42nd birthday this summer, she replied merrily, “They just have to be pretty.”

The small gesture was unknown: when her niece had a school dance, Ms. Lipari, a commodities trader for Carr Futures, bought a half-dozen pairs of shoes for the teenager to select from. Mr. Tighe said the couple, married only since 1999, felt grateful to have found each other. “We traveled a lot for business and the last thing we always said to each other was, ‘Nothing left unsaid.’”

Her husband, Ed Tighe, works for the NFL, and this account of his ordeal on that tragic day comes to us from Sports Illustrated Online:

Like so many other businesses, the NFL also had to address the possibility that staffers might have family members who were injured, dead or lost in the rubble. The league would have two reported missing: Thomas Collins, whose wife, Julia, works in NFL Properties, and Diane Lipari, whose husband, Ed Tighe, is an NFL Management Council lawyer. Julia was in Denver on business. Ed had bolted from his office and gone to the disaster site. While he was explaining to a police officer why he had to get through a barricade, the south tower -- in which Lipari worked, on the 92nd floor -- collapsed. Tighe returned to his office and began sobbing uncontrollably. "Pray for a miracle, Ed," Tagliabue told him, and he, too, began to cry. When the commissioner learned that a rosary was to be said every half hour around the corner at St. Patrick's Cathedral, he told employees that attending the prayer service would be the best thing they could do for Tighe. Many staffers, including Tagliabue, attended a 5:30 mass with Tighe.

Diane was honored by the NFL, along with Thomas Joseph Collins, with TD Bean Bear ("TD" for Tommy & Diane), which was given away to all 77,000 attendees of Super Bowl XXXVI in the New Orleans Superdome, where the families of the two sat together, along with representatives of the New York Port Authority and Police and Fire Departments. The NFL also commissioned two books to commemorate the lives of Tom and Diane.

Those who knew her are invited to leave tributes at the following places online, where all are welcome to read them...

9-11 Victim Memorial
September 11, 2001 Victims
9-11 Memorial

Per her obituary, memorial donations may be made in Diane's name to St. Joseph's School, 131 E. Fort Lee Road, Bogota, New Jersey 07603.

Eternal rest, grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May the souls of the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

Remembering 9/11

I have very little time today to read or to blog, so I will only be able to provide a few quick links to some worthy posts elsewhere. If you have any more to share, feel free to add them in the comments section. Thank you.

T.M. Ergin at Joust the Facts:
A Transforming Dawn

Anna at A Rose by Any Other Name:
Where Were You

Newton at Hang Right Politics:
September 11 - We're Still Mourning

DJ Drummond at Stolen Thunder:
The Last Old Day

Rick Moran at Right Wing Nut House:
The Tears No Longer Come

Many of my favorites also are taking part in the 2996 Project, as am I, honoring those who lost their lives in the 9/11 attacks. Some have already left links to their own tributes above in the trackbacks section of my post on Diane Theresa Lipari.

There is, of course, much, much, much more. For one of the best roundups you will find anywhere, see Lorie Byrd:
Five Years Later - We Will Not Forget

God bless you all and God bless the United States of America.

Goodbye, Old Friends!

We bid adieu to two of my old favorites in the blogosphere this week...

Lyn Perry decided to pack it in over at Bloggin' Outloud, but I get the feeling he just might come back someday.

Meanwhile, The Alliance has surrendered to Evil Glenn!!! Noooooooo!!! Quick, everyone, hide your puppies! Seriously, though, it seems the time commitments were just too much to keep it going, but it was a lot of fun while it lasted! Thanks, folks!

Brutal game blogging. Some places you just count on being there for you to visit so often disappear.

Captions Outrageous! [Beyond Her Grasp Edition]

The above photo comes to us from AFP/Getty Images/File via Yahoo!

This contest will last approximately one week.

Good luck!


ONGOING THROUGH TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12th:

Chain of Fools Edition

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I not only like to host photo caption contests, I like to play them, too! Be certain to check out the latest contests at these great blogs. They deserve your support.

Brainfuel
The Bullwinkle Blog [Where Mr. Right came in 3rd last week.]
Commonwealth Conservative
Cowboy Blob's
The Daily Brief
The Gone Rick Motel
GOP and the City
Lucky Dawg News [Hurry! Ends Saturday at Midnight.]
Outside the Beltway
RIGHTLINX
WILLisms
Wizbang!

And don't forget to check out the best caption blog in the business, where your captions can always, if good enough, get promoted to the front page...

Caption This!


UPDATE 9/9: MORE CONTESTS! [h/t Cowboy Blob]

Beloved Leader
GOP and the City #2 [Yes, ANOTHER one! How did I miss THAT?]
Mr. Completely
Sgt. Hook
Villainous Company


NOTE:
Adjustah from Bravo Zulu is taking this week off to prepare for the arrival of Hurricane Florence in Bermuda! Stay safe, my good man!

UPDATE 9/12: EVEN MORE CONTESTS!

NEW The Clash of Civilizations
Outside the Beltway

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MOST RECENT CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition

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This post is proudly featured in...

OTB CAPTION JAM

Thanks for the link!

Marathon Pundit

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UPDATE 9/20:

This contest is now closed...

WINNERS ARE POSTED HERE!

The latest contest is HERE!

Thank you all for playing!

Revenge Of The "Culture Of Corruption"

From the home office in Tom's River:

Federal investigators have subpoenaed records of a rental deal between U.S. Sen. Robert Menendez and a nonprofit agency in Union City, launching a criminal investigation that is sure to rock New Jersey's hotly contested Senate race.

[...]

The action comes two weeks after The Star-Ledger reported that Menendez collected more than $300,000 from the organization over a nine-year period while he represented Hudson County in the U.S. House of Representatives. During that period, he also helped the agency win millions of dollars in federal funding.

State Sen. Tom Kean Jr., Menendez's Republican challenger, has called the arrangement a case of profiting from official action. Two of his Republican allies filed an ethics complaint against Menendez in Congress, accusing him of a conflict of interest. Independent watchdog groups also have said it was a conflict for Menendez to seek federal funds on behalf of his tenant.

Menendez campaign spokesman Matt Miller said last night the senator has nothing to fear from the investigation, and questioned the timing of the action by the U.S. Attorney's Office, considering the election is two months away.

Yeah, anyone can see that the timing is the problem. Meanwhile, from the home office in Puyallup:

WASHINGTON Sep 8, 2006 (AP)— A soon-to-be U.S. senator lends money to a lobbyist. The lobbyist never pays it back. The lawmaker then uses her Senate position to help direct more than $11 million in government money to projects benefiting the lobbyist's clients.

It's the story of Sen. Maria Cantwell, D-Wash., a former technology executive, and her former campaign manager Ron Dotzauer, who founded a lobbying firm and still owes the senator an unpaid personal loan from 2000.

Cantwell's spokesman says she sees nothing wrong with the relationship. Ethics experts have a different take.

Senate ethics rules require lawmakers to avoid even the appearance of a conflict of interest when making official acts that benefit people in whom they have a personal financial relationship.

Oops. When the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal broke there was elation among Democrats. This Republican "Culture of Corruption" was going to lead to a congressional landslide taking them back into the leadership. Well, maybe not. The most recent Rasmussen New Jersey poll has Mr. Kean, the Republican, with a 5 point lead. Ms. Cantwell's double digit lead in the Washington Senate race has narrowed to 6 points.

There's a long way to go, but I don't think you'll be hearing the "culture of corruption" tagline nearly as much this fall. The double-edged sword is much more dangerous.

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Mad Hatter Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 7th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 30 captions for this picture from AP Photo/Ron Heflin via Yahoo!



HONORABLE MENTION:

-- "I'm picking up those radio signals from George Bush again... QUICK! Gimme my tin foil beanie cap!"

Carl


-- For one brief moment, Cindy Sheehan considers the possibility that she's nothing but a ridiculous, posturing ass.

D. Carter


-- "Oh, why did I settle for this wicker basket on my head? I wanted tin foil..."

-- "No, don't wake up from your reverie, Cindy... Hugo and Che at the same time..."

Damian G.


-- "Cindy, stay awake! These are your own speeches you are listening to!"

Doc


-- "Casey! Why does your spirit keep smacking me?" {*smack*} "Do you want me to protest more?" {*smack*} "OW!"

GOP and College


-- "Al... Hugo... Jesse... I can't remember ANYONE's phone number."

Greg Finnegan


-- "The mothership is calling... Yes, oh mighty Soros, I am here."

ILikeIke


-- "Calgon, take me away!"

I R A Darth Aggie


-- Cindy found the hollow whistling sound she heard every time the wind picked up quite annoying.

jimmyb


-- "Quiet, I'm channeling Casey... He is saying, 'Mom, you idiot, STFU!'... Nooooooooooo!"

JorgXMcKie


-- "I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. DeMille."

-- "Casey's insurance money is almost gone. What can I do to make more without working? Think, Cindy, think!"

Pam


-- "I knew I should've taken the blue pill...
I knew I should've taken the blue pill...
I knew I should've taken the blue pill..."

Rodney Dill


-- Cindy appreciates the comforting caress of Medea "Man Hands" Benjamin.

-- As Cindy Sheehan acted out the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally, her audience lost, in order, their drinks, their lunches, and their minds.

V the K


-- "I think I drank the Kool-Aid a little too fast."

-- "God, I miss Hugo. Those lips, those eyes, those dictitorial tendencies!"

walrus


-- "I'm feeling faint from my hunger strike! Quick, somebody get me some ice cream and Jamba Juice! And how about a couple Big Macs while you're at it?"

W.C. Varones


-- "Geez, I feel like I've been out of it for two years! What did Jesse Jackson slip into my drink?"

Windhamite


THE TOP TEN:

#10: "Maybe they're right. Maybe my son died in a noble cause to bring freedom to a long suffering people. Maybe in my grief, I have gone too far, associating with people I would normally never be seen with and letting them use me for their own leftist, Anti-Semitic agenda. Maybe George Bush is just a good man doing his best in extremely difficult times and not the Antichrist. Maybe............ NAHHH!!!!!!"

anybodyinpoulsbo


#9: "You be quiet, voice #14, I'm trying to listen to voice #46."

V the K


#8: "I am JUST as pretty as Laura. Why, oh why, won't George talk to me?"

ILikeIke


#7: "I've got a headache THIS BIG and it's screaming for Sharpton!"

V the K


#6: "Now, where did I leave my sunglasses?"

Anna


#5: "Oh, Lord, please don't let me appear in any more blog caption contests!"

Rodney Dill


#4: "Mork calling Orson. Come in, Orson."

V the K


#3: "I'm not feeling so good, anyone have a headstoneless grave I can lie down on?"

walrus


#2: Cindy Sheehan's hat, embarrassed to be seen with her in public, would sometimes try to disguise itself.

Steve O


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...


#1: "Slytherin!"

Trias


PARTIAL BONUS!

Who’s peakin’ out from under a pup tent
Callin’ on Bush to be impeached?
Who’s disgracin’ her fine son’s memory?
Everyone knows it’s Cindy.

Who’s trippin’ down to protest at Crawford
Smilin’ at everybody she sees?
Who’s reachin’ out to friends like Hugo?
Everyone knows it’s Cindy.

And Cindy has hounddog eyes
That droop as she spins her lies
And Cindy has learned to cry
In front of crowds.
In front of crowds.

And Cindy has thorny ties
To commies and Leftist guys
And Cindy should say good-bye
‘Cause she’s too loud.
‘Cause she’s too loud.

Who’s jettin’ down to see Hugo Chavez
Smilin’ at all the media cheese?
Who’s as full o’ crap as a Christmas turkey?
Everyone knows it’s Cindy.

Beerme

Good enough for partial credit, Beerme, but a better version has ALREADY BEEN DONE!


BONUS!

Hooray! Chris is back, with a vengeance...

THE BIG BONUS!!!

With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer, baseball, apple pie and moms everywhere...

The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the moonbat kind that day:
The Bush admin was still intact with one election left in play.
So when Clooney’s act died at first, and Barbara’s did the same,
A Sickly silence fell upon the patrons of the blame game.

A straggling few got up to go in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the liberal breast;
They thought if only Casey’s Mom could get the message out
We’d even put Soros' money up for Mother Moonbat's words to tout.

But Cheney argued cogently and there was always little Karl Rove
And the former made them crazy and the later conspiracies wove.
So upon the stricken moonbatitude a grim melancholy sat
For there seemed but little chance of Casey’s Mom changing any of that.

But Cheney shot a doctor, and the MSM overhyped it with a fury
And Rove, the much dispised, was gonna get indicted by the Grand Jury.
But when the dust had settled, the liberals saw what had occurred.
Cheney was still in office and Libby, not Rove, had a subpoena served.

So from moonbat throats there rose a lusty yell;
It tumbled through the networks, it rattled in the dell;
It knocked upon the internet and recoiled through the pines
For Casey’s Mom, the Mighty Moonbat, would advance the liberal line.

There was ease in Sheehan’s manner as she stepped into her place;
There was pride in Sheehan’s bearing, and a frown on Sheehan’s face.
And when, responding to their fears, she put on a tin foil hat
No stranger in the crowd could doubt she was the Mother of all Moonbats.

Thousands of eyes were on her as she dished her liberal dirt,
Thousands of tongues applauded as she played upon her hurt.
And while the sane among us questioned her liberal script,
Defiance flashed in Cindy’s eyes and a sneer curled Cindy’s lip.

And now the counter arguments came hurtling through the air
And Cindy stood a-watching them in haughty grandeur there.
Close by the raving spokesman, the truth unheeded sped-
“That can’t be true” said Casey’s Mom, “Strike one” the Neo-cons said.

From the streets, filled with hippies, there went up a muffled roar
Like the beating of the storm waves on a stern and distant shore.
“Kill them! Kill the Republicans!” shouted all the peaceniks in the stands
and it’s likely they’d have rioted had not Cindy raised her hand.

With a smile of false sincerity great Cindy’s visage shone
She stilled the rising tumult with a promise she would fast on;
She signaled to her critics, and once more the factoids flew,
But still Cindy ignored the truth, and the ‘Right’ said “Strike Two!”

“Fraud!” cried the maddened masses, and echo answered fraud;
but one scornful look from Cindy and the liberals were awed.
They saw her face frow stern and cold, saw her brain muscles strain,
And they knew that Cindy wouldn’t let another fact go by again.

The sneer is gone from Cindy’s lip, her teeth are clenched in hate;
She pounds with cruel violence her verbiage upon the State.
And now the ‘Right’ hold the truth, and now they let it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Sheehan’s blow.

Oh somewhere in a liberal land the sun is shining bright,
The Dixie Chicks play somewhere, somewhere hearts are light.
And somewhere terrorists are laughing and somewhere Al-Qaeda shouts,
But there is no joy in Moonbatville, Mother Moonbat has struck out.

walrus


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

ONGOING:
Captions Outrageous! [Chain of Fools Edition]

Enjoy!


PREVIOUS SEASON TWO PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST WINNERS:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition

PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST REWIND, Season One #7:

Weapons of Mash Destruction Edition

******************************

Thanks for the links!

Conservathink
The Conservative Cat

A Policy Would Help

Democrats get mad when anyone tars them as being insufficently interested in success in the war on terrorists. They wonder if their patriotism is being questioned. They insist they're just as patriotic, pro-American, and interested in seeing America succeed in Iraq and Afghanistan as the next guy. Well, they'll have a head of steam up after reading Rich Lowry's National Review article.

The Democrats don’t offer stirring rhetoric about the need for victory and for stalwartness in the face of setbacks, but instead a dreary recitation of mistakes in the war leavened with little hope or positive policy proposals. They don’t talk of the need of maintaining our national will or the need for patience in waging a difficult and irregular war, but emphasize our casualties and the fact that the Iraq War has already dragged on longer than World War II.

Now, it’s not that the Bush administration hasn’t made mistakes, or that optimists (including myself at times) haven’t often been wrong, or that we don’t face the possibility of losing. It is perfectly reasonable as a matter of principle for those Democrats who originally opposed the war to want, as they see it, to cut our losses. And it would be scurrilous to accuse Democrats of hoping for defeat. But Democrats demonstrate no appetite for doing anything serious to help resist that calamitous eventuality.

Therein lies at least one of their problems. Just like a consumer kicking the tires on a couple of used cars, American voters this fall will enter the booths looking at candidates from, for the most part, two parties. One represents the current establishment, a party whose President has responded to horrific terrorist attacks on American soil by going after, in one way or another, what he and his advisors perceive as the root problems - state sponsors of terrorism and terrorist activities. The other party insists that this President is wrong, that he's gotten us involved in a war of choice in Iraq (at least) and that his handling of this war has been flawed. This other party insists that changes must be made. Some have suggested withdrawing troops now, soon, or at some indeterminate time. Some have suggested focusing only on one man. Few have suggested persisting in our efforts in Iraq. This guy did, and lost his primary.

Here's the problem. You're a voter being encouraged to vote for "change." But if you go with "change," exactly what changes are you voting for? Are you voting for withdrawal? Are you voting to stay the course but change tactics? Are you voting for withdrawal from Iraq but engagement with Iran? Just what the heck are you choosing when you pull the lever for the candidate with the 'D' next to his or her name?

I have yet to hear or see a critic of President Bush's policies in the war on terrorists advocate specific alternatives, particulary those that could clearly be successful. Oh, wait, there was one specific proposal. Rep. Jack Murtha wanted to pull the troops out and move them to Okinawa. People smarter than me are still trying to figure out how that would help win in Iraq, or elsewhere for that matter.

So what will those who want "change" be buying this November? I'll be damned if I know. This used car (D)ealer won't let you take the car for a test drive, and won't let your mechanic look it over. This (D)ealer won't even let you start the engine. Buy blind? I think not. Mr. Lowry concludes:

There is one obvious way for the Democrats to bury charges of defeatism. It would be for the bulk of the party to swing around to an affirmative strategy for victory and for the party’s leaders to support it energetically. That, of course, will never happen.