So Demorats taking over Congress, Senate, blah blah blah.
I get a call the other night from Ted Kennedy
Rrrrrrrring , rrrrrrrrring ***
Ted Kennedy: Hic, Shtewed, her Get Shtewed lease
Stew: Hello? You mean Stew Magoo of Get Stewed?
Ted Kennedy: Yesh, mumble *hic*
Stew: I'm sorry I didn't understand. Who is this?
Ted Kennedy: Thish is Ted Kendy. Kennenedy. KENNEDY.
Stew: Oh, Mr. Kennedy. Right, well, what can I do you for?
Ted Kennedy: You've got that Newshmonger team of shientishts rite?
Stew: Yes Mr. Kennedy, the Newsmonger crack scientific team of Science Mongers.
Ted Kennedy: Well, we need 'em. Now that Pelosi has opened her giant trap and stated that we're going to fix every*hic*thing, we've got to come up with some sholutionsh.
Stew: Er, well, the only problem is that I don't actually agree with basically ANYTHING that Demorats stand for and I'm not really sure that I want to help you.
Ted Kennedy: "..."
Ted Kennedy: Pleash? Don't you think they could come up with jusht one idea?
Stew: Hold on, I'll ask them
(In the background:
Guys, any ideas to stop the terrorists for Ted Kennedy?
Yeah, uh huh.
Right. Right, okay.
Check, okay good point, thanks. Thanks Sciencemongers.)
Ted Kennedy: Yesh.
Stew: Okay, I'm back. Basically the Sciencemongers say that you're pretty much screwed. Since your party has been slamming Bush and all the possible solutions as unreasonable and just downright wrong, you're going to have to come up with something unique.
Ted Kennedy: Well I know THAT, sho what'sh the shol, solution? What'sh that unique way that the Democrats can combat the war on terror without loshing any livesh?
Stew: Well, Teddy, basically since the normal measures used to fight wars have been ridiculed by Demorats and, to be quite honest the terrorists aren't fighting a "normal" war as we know it, you're going to have attacks on America, etc etc. And what do the martyrs for jihad get once they're done blowing up the evil "death to America" people? Virgins. I'm pretty sure at last count it was something like 72 of them.
Ted Kennedy: Rite I remember shome guy prattling on about that during one of the shecurity meetingsh.
Stew: Great, so why don't you just go ahead and give the jihadists the virgins? I mean, we've got tons of women that are willing to do just about anything for a few bucks. You can probably get a couple of million of them together in no time.
Ted Kennedy: Hicle* Thatsh GREAT! I gotta call Murtha.
Stew: Goodbye Mr. Kennedy
Ted Kennedy: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snort* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Another chapter in the war on terror by the Demorats...