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Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Favorite Things
I jes love getting flowers from my fans. They usually smell real pretty! Those of my fans who do send me flowers, remember my favorites are the roses!
Do you know who I am?
Who the Heck Am I?
I despise Tom Cruise, love South Park, and have a soft spot in my heart for the Burgermeister Meisterburger on the Rankin Bass classic "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town." Any guesses?
Seein' A Few Familiar Faces
I see that Bill 'n Hillary have made it he-ah. Great to see y'all. And Howard Dean, you go, girlfriend. Dan Rather, thanks for all that help you tried to give the party in 2004. But, couldn't you have used a little more realistic lookin' documents? I mean, how tough would it have been to get out an old manual Olympia or Smith Corona, huh. I'm surrounded by amateurs, I tell you.
Well, we're one week away, and it's lookin' good. This ol' gang is gettin' ready for a party party. Then that ol' dog John Kerry done goes and sticks his foot in it. Oh, I sure hope I don't wind up with egg on my face...again.
Hahahaha! ?
"You want to scare Hillary Clinton? Here's what you do -- you knock on her door dressed as Barack Obama and yell, 'I'm running!'" Jay Leno said that. Isn't it funny? Who's Barack Obama?
Oh, and will someone stick a bottle in that baby's mouth! It's really gettin' on my nerves!
See my profile: Nutilee
The Chairman Asks:
I like candy. (Half the bowl is gone. I plan to blame it on the neighborhood children.) I have always had a thing for mountains. Well, one mountain in particular.
Do you know who I am?
I'm with John Kerry! Screw the troops!
Well, well, well! It looks like a bunch of my fellow progressives have decided to crash this little nutroots outfit.Now, I know that a lot of you Righties were "offended" by John Kerry's latest stroke of satirical genius. What the eff?
Dudes, Kerry was so funny! The only thing missing was a Hitler reference.
I think that this whole controversy could have been avoided had Kerry spoken at a first-grade level, one all of you morons can understand.
(AHEM!)
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"George Bush is worse than Hitler!"
"(Sigh.) George Bush is worse than Hitler who?"
"Orange you glad I didn't say banana?"
"That joke sucked!"
"SCREW YOU!!!"
Okay, I'm getting a lot of guff about one of my fellow progressives daring to speak truth to power.
The fact is, Jim Webb is a patriot, but we'll forgive him anyway. In fact, he is so patriotic that as Secretary of the Navy under Ray-gun, he did a crappy job on purpose so he could be forced to resign from that air-head's Administration!
George Allen must be defeated, for he is the ultimate example of RethugliKKKan hypocrisy. I mean, first, the GOP supports sending naughty messages to teen-aged boys, and now they oppose fellating underage boys! Which is it, you prudes?
So remember folks: Vote early, vote often and SCREW YOU!!!
The Great Helmsman Eats
The evening progresses... the small People come and go, and I am running out of voter registration cards. To no avail. Once your new plan goes through, no one will have to show identification to vote anyway.
Between visits, I have been considering Revolutionary Lessons for Benefit Glorious Party of Moonbattery. It occurred to me that I once said, "If you want to know the taste of a pear, you must change the pear by eating it yourself. If you want to know the theory and methods of revolution, you must take part in revolution."
By my own logic, if you want to know the candy, you must eat the candy yourself. So I have taken my own advice. We did not have "Swedish Fish" or "Twix" bars in China during the Great People's Revolution. This is indeed a Great Leap Forward in culinary opportunity.
But now I have a question:
Is it inappropriate for People's Revolutionary Heroes to eat American candy? Thanks to Nutilee, I am comfortable with kissables...but what of the others???
I have consumed many, many packages. Perhaps I must now write a self-criticism...
I will get right on that, as soon as I finish this candy.
It's 9:45, do you know where your children are?
If so, can you help me find my "husband"?
That rat bastard is off trolloping around somewhere. For the love of..., God has no place in it Hillary, it takes a village. Deep breath. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9
Okay, I'm better now.
Oh and Frau Belcher, you hag. You'd best keep your aspirations under control or I'll squash you like I did Oompa Loompa boy. Dan, can you help me out here (and no I'd Rather not jokes please)?
The stress. I find out this guy is trying to pimp me or something. I AM A SENATOR. Besides he's a man. You all know how I feel about THAT.
ABC Denying Free Speech!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!The
Liberals would NEVER do anything like that! That's denying free speech! I can't believe they would do something so TERRIBLE!. The 1st Amendment trampled my those Facist ConservaNazis!
Where's my paci??!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Investigations 1.6
Speaking of impeachments. If only these two (G. Bush and R. Cheney) would take the threat of impeachment to heart and just resign in disgrace like Spiro Agnew and Richard Nixon did...
{note to self: involve the ACLU - they are really good at threatening lawsuits and getting people to back down immediately. Look at how much they accomplished in LA getting the city to remove the cross from the city shield without even going to court or actually filing the papers!}
But both at the same time so I can become the FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES! Take that Hillary!
Frau Blücher (click for my profile)
The Chairman Returns
I see two lists of world leaders on this blog, and yet my name appears nowhere? I think someone needs to write ... a SELF-CRITICISM! I demand 100 words from GoldStarCin on the topic: Why The Great Helmsman Knows More About Revolution Than Hugo Chavez. I don't think Nutilee knows 100 words, so I will expect only a 50-word self-criticism on "Why Barbra is Not Actually A World Leader."
As an aside, I, too, have begun seeing small children dressed in the most extraordinary clothing knocking at the door. In lieu of the sweets they seek, I have offered them voter registration cards (pre-filled and pre-registered, of course) and pamphlets entitled "Impersonation of Little People at Voting Places for the Advancement of the Glorious Moonbat Revolution"
People Who Want to Meet Me
Well, I think they should want to meet me. Let's see...George, Alec, Sean (I jes love bad boys, tho he's not such a boy anymore), Oh, Matt and Ben, of course. Susan Sarandon is my idol so I have to meet her. Barbra, well, I think I have a better voice, but I still wanna meet her.
I don't know these people Cindy wants to meet. A guy named Kim? That's jes weird! And Maoumud? What kinda name is that? Oh, well, if they hate Georgie then I like them!
Grrrrrr
Alright. Enough.BILL WHERE ARE YOU?!?
that slimy... I will NOT put up with this when we are the President again.
And who, exactly, is that BLACK man?
Trick or Treat Dahlinks
Oh, the darkness has fallen, and ze little trick or treaters have come to Andrianna's door. Andrianna saw ze most Delicious Leetle Boy in a (butt) pirate costume. (He vas an eight year old, but he had ze body of a seven year old, dahlinks!) Ven he said 'Trick or Treat,' Andrianna gave him a copy of her book and told him how ze Christianists vere plotting to take avay ze pagan holiday of Halloveen.Andrianna has to find a pool boy to clean ze eggs off her vindows now. Ungrateful little Velp!
We Must Protect the Children 2.0
Reproductive Freedom is a right granted to every female human being in this country by the Constitution (the Supreme Court said so!)
Any female human being who discovers that she is {shudder}pregnant{/shudder} has the right to go get that taken care of at any time, for any reason, and at any age. She doesn't have to notify anyone of the decision (well, except for the women's health provider who will "take care of it" and someone who will pay for the provider to "take care of it". Providers can't be expected to provide this service out of the goodness of their hearts now can they. That is why we need to have government pay for the service. That way everyone's happy.
How will we pay for it? Are you kidding? We're the government. We can stop paying for the Iraq War (item # something on my list). That could pay for both the reproductive freedom of all
Remember a Vote for the Democrat Party is a Vote for the Children!
Frau Blücher (click for my profile)
Flavor of Love: Washington - Finale
Yeeeeaaaahhhh BooooyyyyIt's Flavor Flav and I'm Right in the Place.
Hey kids! You know what time it is? It's time send the last chick home. We sent home Hair for being a dude, Hottie for eating my clock, Crazy and Goldie for being nuttier than a fruitcake, Drinks for drinking my windex, and Georgia for being a ho.
Now it's time to see which lady is going to join me and which one is going home.
Michelle "Ping Pong" MalkinPros: I hear she likes to party and she is a hot asian chick.
Cons: May be married.
Hillary "New York" ClintonPros: May be the next president
Cons: Rumored to be married.
Yo, this is a hard decision. Does I want to be the First Man if New York becomes president? That is some mad responsibility, cooking breakfast and all dat. I watched Commander in Chief, that job sucks. Plus, I like the asian ladies. So New York, your time here is done. I choose Ping Pong.
Here are the remaining dope girls that will be trying for my love:
Michelle Malkin as "Ping Pong"
Thanks for checking in on Flavor. Remember dope is dope.
World Leaders I'm Hoping to Meet
As you can see by this fabulous photo, I've had the great fortune to meet one of the world's greatest leaders, Hugo "Cram the Ballot Boxes" Chavez of Venezuela. With Halloween here, Christmas isn't very far away. I'd like to share my wish list of who I'm hoping to meet in 2007 and beyond:
Kim Jong Il: I'm glad he has the bomb. He is da bomb. I mean, “What they're saying, too, is like, it's OK for Israel to have nuclear weapons. But Iran or Syria better not get nuclear weapons. ... It's OK for Israel to occupy Palestine, ... for the United States to occupy Iraq, but it's not OK for Syria to be in Lebanon. They're a bunch of (expletive) hypocrites.” So I'm glad North Korea is sticking it to the Man known as W.
Fidel Castro: Castro has fought off disgusting American-style capitalism for nearly 40 years. I hear he's in poor health. I'd love to go to that paradise known as Cuba, and shake this great man's hand before he dies.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: As the duly elected president in a REAL democracy, Ahmadinejad is following in Kim Jong Il's footsteps and is on his way to becoming a nuclear power. Finally, the poor Palestinians will have someone to look out for their interests. He's also giving the proverbial finger to W, which makes him A-OK in my book.
Speaking of books, please buy a copy of either Peace Mom or Not One More Mother's Child...keep those royalty checks coming.
Click here to see my profile!
Investigations 1.4
Investigations may lead to Articles of Impeachment against G.Bush and R. Cheney. {Yes, I know that Rep. Conyers has been quite proactive and has pretty much already drawn them up} but we need to move carefully in this matter.
If we impeach G.Bush first, then R. Cheney will be the new President and will appoint a new VP then if we impeach R. Cheney that appointee {unelected!} will be president.
If we impeach R. Cheney first, then G. Bush will appoint a new Vice President and then that VP will become President when we impeach G. Bush.
We need to accomplish a dual impeachment so that I can become President once they are both convicted by the Democrat controlled Senate.
Frau Blücher (click for my profile)
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