School Daze...

As you already know, I am a senior at a Catholic school. My English class is taught by a Franciscan brother, Brother Etienne (a.k.a. Satan).

This year our reading is very religion-centric, and we are reading Dante's Inferno.

We came across the Sodomites, whose punishment for sinning was running for all eternity.

Brother, ever the pervert, inquired to one of my classmates, "Matt, do you know what a Sodomite is?"

Matt did not know, but Ryan ventured a guess: "Some one who commits sodomy?"

"Very good," Brother responded. "Now, can you tell me what sodomy is?"

Awkward silence. We all knew. I was so tempted to respond with one of my more salacious comments, but a girl raised her hand and asked innocently, "Homosexuality?"

"Yes." Then, just to hammer it home: "Men doing it with men."

That's right; a brother went out of his way to make a gay joke. But it gets better.

Kelly, who is a total liberal, got all up in Brother's grill and was like, "What does running have to do with being homosexual?"

I suggested that it's because, to quote Clairee from Steel Magnolias, homosexuals like track lighting.

Ryan and another boy got it.

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