Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Right Hand to God Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 5th Right Place Photo Caption Contest of Season Two!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 35 captions for this picture from AFP/Timothy A. Clary via Yahoo!


-- "On my honor, I will bitch-slap the next one of you scumbags to bad-mouth the United States of America... so help me!"


-- "Okay, by show of hands: Who thinks these meetings need more cowbell?"

Buckley F. Williams

-- "All in favor of just plain bombing the sh*t out of Iran?..."

D. Carter

-- Who thinks the UN is a useless sham?

-- ♫ You put your right hand up, you put your right hand down,
You put your right hand up and you shake it all around
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what the UN is all about. ♫


-- John Bolton decided it would be best to just raise his hand and ask where the bathroom was, since, apparently, writing a note to the person next to you is bad press.

GOP and College

-- "Excuse me, my translator is playing showtunes again."


-- "Excuse me! Excuse me! Am I the only one here that isn't a freakin' commie, terrorist, or rabid socialist?"


-- Bolton responds "Yes" when asked if he's entering the UN "Captain Kangaroo Look-a-like Contest".

John Ruberry

-- "Excuse me, I can't find my mouse. Have any of you seen it?"

Lyn Perry

-- "Talk to the hand, 'cuz the 'stache ain't listening."

Omnibus Driver

-- John Bolton's is the lone vote to exile Kofi Annan to St. Helena.


-- "This is the hand I use when I slap my staff."

radio free fred

-- "Hey, Dr. Z, that thing gotta Hemi?"

rodney dill

-- BOLTON: "I'd like to make a binding resolution that the U.N. peacekeeping forces stop raping kids and providing cover for terrorists.

[crickets chirping...]


-- The UN now recognizes Mr. Bolton...
"How about we all just quit it with the 'Got Milk?' comments."


-- Then, his earpiece started picking up the signal from Classic Funk 103.3, and John Bolton voted to take Ahmadinejad to Funkytown.

-- Secretly, the American UN delegation referred to Kofi Annan as "Mr. Kot-tair." You can guess who the 'Sweathogs' were.

-- Only after Kofi threatened to put the entire UN into detention until the one who put helium in his asthma inhaler confessed did John Bolton come clean.

V the K

-- "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth... Even if you mo-fo's can't frickin' handle it!"

-- It wasn't the first time Kofi didn't recognize Bolton during a UN debate, but it damn well was going to be the LAST time!

-- The only job lonelier than being a Maytag repair man? Being right at the UN.

-- John Bolton's future career as an NFL referee seemed in doubt when he missed the "Signal a Touchdown" question at his try out.

-- With the crappy reception at the UN, this was the only way Bolton could pick up the Rush Limbaugh Show on his walkman.


"Everyone who wants to slap France around a bit, raise their hands."



#10: "Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh! Mr. Kotter! Ooooh! Ooooh!


#9: ♫ Confident! Confident! Dry and secure!
Raise your hand! Raise your hand if you're SURE! ♫

The Random Yak meets V the K

#8: "I don't have a question... I'm just trying to hold this dopey RadioShack earphone in place."


#7: "This is the hand I used to bitch-slap George Voinovich and make him cry like a baby."

W.C. Varones

#6: "Uhh, Mr. Bolton, just push the button if you can hear the tone."

Greg Finnegan

#5: "NO! If I raise just THIS hand, we are adopting the US position, if I also raise my other hand, THEN we are adopting the French position!"


#4: "Does anyone OTHER than Mr. Bolton know the correct answer?"

The Random Yak

#3: "May I be excused? I have an anger management class in ten minutes."

radio free fred

#2: "The Chair recognizes Wilford Brimley..."


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...

#1: "No, really. I was the walrus. Swear to God!"



♫ 'Stache!

Who's Bush's UN pick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
You're damn right

Who is the dude
That would let the Israelis go to Beriut
Can ya dig it?

Who's got the whiskers that won't cop out
When there's danger all about
Right on

You see this cat's Stache is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about his Stache
(Then we can dig it)

He uses styling gel
And no one understands him 'specially liberals
(John's Stache) ♫


Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

Captions Outrageous! [Some Assembly Required Edition]

(NOTE: The above contest is already shaping up as one of the best ever!)



#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition


Not So Mellow Fellow in Yellow Edition

Right Place Photo Caption Contest Hall of Glory


Thanks for the links!

Atlas Shrugs
Benning's Writing Pad

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