Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Happy Anniversary, Weasel!

John F. Kerry (Jackass-MA) has now gone 100 days since promising, on national television, to sign form SF-180 and release his military records... and he still has not lived up to his promise.

What's the matter, Johnny? Can't find a pen?

In honor of this auspicious occassion, I will reprint my list of things John Kerry must accomplish before he gets around to signing form SF-180, which I originally posted in the comments section on PoliPundit on March 27th.

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From the Home Office in Crawford, Texas:

The Top Ten Things John Kerry Must Accomplish Before He Will Get Around to Signing Form SF-180:

10. Reverse the rotation of the earth so that the sun rises in the west.

9. Raise Christopher Reeve from the dead, and make him walk!

8. Spin straw into gold.

7. Actually show up for work once in a while.

6. Play a round of golf on Mars.

5. Help O.J. find the “real killers.”

4. Walk on water.

3. Solve Pi to the very last digit.

2. Travel back in time, win Ohio and become President.

and the number one thing John Kerry must accomplish before signing form SF-180:

Arm wrestle with God… and win!

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Meanwhile, the Kerry SF-180 Clock on the right side of this blog just keeps on ticking along...

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