Sunday, November 19, 2006

Weapons of war

Now that the Demorats are in control

The Get Stewed Newsmonger News Team has outdone themselves.


With the recent elections, Nancy Pelosi and her minions have a tough job. Not only do they have to correct the ethics of the Republicans while somehow minimizing their own rather nasty skeletons in the proverbial closet but they have to figure out some way to fight this war on terror. While redeploying to Okinawa.

Recently it was revealed that the baby killing, evil, hated military industrial complex has a new weapon in the war on terror.

The "Man Wing". Despite the name, this is not something that was originally a practical joke on "The Man Show". It's actually a real product and not a fabrication of my sick mind.

The Gryphon Man Wing is a strap on wing with jet propulsion which allows soldiers to deploy at 30,000 feet and then eject, parachuting directly into the enemy's backyard.

While this is a stunning achievement in the advances in scientific military weaponry, it pales in comparison to the Democratic leaders new ideas.

Nancy Pelosi, John "cut and run" Murtha, Harry Reid and Ted *hic* Kennedy are proud to announce:

The Michael Moore Masticating Machine

You see, Moore will eat ANYTHING. A side of beef, fourteen rotisserie chickens, small children or an entire daycare center, it pretty much doesn't matter.

The Democrats plan will be to ship a clone of Michael Moore to Iraq/Iran/North Korea, wherever he is needed, and give him a "dinner invitation". Moore will then proceed to eat everything in that country. Including the leaders if they're not fast enough.

Peace in the middle east? Send Michael "If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em" Moore.

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