Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Frozen Assets Edition]

Announcing the winners of the 45th ever Right Place Photo Caption Contest!

Thank you to one and all who participated!

Presenting the top 40 captions for this picture from AP Photo/Lauren Victoria Burke via Yahoo!

The "Did Someone Mention His Name Was JEFFERSON?" Dept.:

-- "I was saving that money so I could move to the East Side and get that deluxe apartment in the sky."

radio free fred

-- "I told Weezie to tell Lionel to keep his allowance in the safe, NOT THE FREEZER!"

Bill W.

The "This Is Only Happening to Me Because I'm ______" Dept.:

-- "This is only happening because I'm gay, right?"


-- "It's because I'm Jewish, isn't it?"


-- "It's because I'm a lesbian, isn't it?"


-- "It's because I'm retarded, isn't it?"


-- "It's because am a Faux-Native-American, plagiarizing, scholarly fraud, isn't it?"


-- "It's because I'm from the planet Calufrax, isn't it?"


The "Johnny Cochran Memorial Defense Fund" Dept.:

-- "If the baggies don't fit, you must acquit."

the man

-- "If it's from the freezer, you must free the geezer;
If the cash is frost-bit, you must acquit;
If the cash is cold, the investigation is on hold;
If you've been in my ice tray, the search'll be thrown away;
If its iced like snow, you must let it go;
If the package said Popsicle, I'll get an acquital."

Rodney Dill


-- "It's getting hard out here for a pimp."


-- "I was demonstrating the principle of cold, hard cash."


-- "Listen, Beenie-Weenie left in the freezer too long develops mold that looks just like cash. There's no story here at all!"

-- "They fell for my plan, hook, line and sinker! You see, the whole thing was a reverse sting operation. I set out to prove that the FBI targets people of color on these corruption investigations..."

D. Carter

-- "You see, it's like this: How else can you cool off 'hot' money?"

-- "I was part of a product test for these new Ziplock freezer bags..."

-- "George Bush's economy is so bad that I was anticipating a bank failure."

-- "I was beta testing Al Gore's lockbox."


-- When asked about his "frozen assets", Jefferson replied, "Look, I like my bills nice and crisp."

-- "When I am cleared of these cold-hearted charges, I will spend the rest of my life searching for the person or persons who planted that money in my freezer."


-- "I got an e-mail saying that this guy in Iraq came across $15 Million, and he'd give me a share of it if I helped him get to America..."

GOP and College

-- After the press conference, paramedics treated Rep. Jefferson's hand for freezer burn.

hatless in hattiesburg

-- "It depends on the meaning of the word 'bribery'..."


-- "I'm innocent until they prove me guilty in court, which will take weeks... Well, that's not exactly what I meant to say, but you guys in the media know what to write... spin it for me, wouldja?"

-- "Hey, man, the OTHER William Jefferson got away with this sort of crap all the time!"

-- "Well, I gave $9,000 to Hillary for stock trading tips, and I invested $1,000... and, well, YOU do the math!"

Steve O

-- "You people are all focusing on 'bribery this' and 'illegal funds that' and missing the big picture. The Right Place Caption Contest was late this week..."

-- "It's a good thing they don't know that I use the money to support my gambling and crack habits... Did I just say that out loud?"

-- "On the bright side, I saved a ton of money by switching to Geico."

-- "Enough about the money, I'm still missing a boot from the hurricane flooding, any of you guys seen it?"



#10: Above, a politician of unknown party affiliation deflects attention from the Abramoff scandal, which some say touches all elements of the corrupt Republican Party, as President Bush's ratings fall below 35% for the 4th time this month. In other news, a former Special Forces Army Ranger Pilot speaks out against the Iraq war.

Steve O

#9: "How did that money get in my freezer? Well, as near as I can figure, the National Guardsmen I sent to my house during the hurricane must have taken out a pizza and left the money as payment."

D. Carter

#8: "I wuz gonna return it just as soon as global warming thawed it out."

Rodney Dill

#7: "If I say it came from 'cattle futures', will ya'll leave me alone?"


#6: "If it's from the Frigidaire, I got it fair and square."

Rodney Dill

#5: "Well, at least it wasn't from Abramoff."


#4: "They can keep the money. I just want my Swanson Mostly White Meat Turkey Dinner back."


#3: "I collected that money for the Gloria Wise Boys and Girls Club."

Steve O

#2: "The man said it was a bunch of dead presidents. I was just keepin' them cryogenically frozen... until they could be cured."


And the winning entry for this Caption Contest...

#1: "Crap! That means my safe deposit box is gonna smell like rotten hamburger."

Rodney Dill

Bravo! Bravo!

Encore! Encore!

Captions Outrageous! [In Over Her Head Edition]



Oh, Thank Heaven for 7/11 Edition
Fickle Finger of Fate Edition
Things Are Looking Up Edition
Rage in the Cage Edition
Not So Mellow Fellow in Yellow Edition
The Beards and the Beads Edition
Weapons of Mash Destruction Edition
You're Al I Ever Wanted Edition
His Cup Runneth Over Edition
The Eyes Have It Edition
Jeepers Veepers Edition
Huggermugger Edition
Ear's to You Edition
Heavy Medal Edition
Village of the Damned Edition
White on Rice Edition
Sunny Side Up Edition
Absentee Mallet Edition
French Tickler Edition
In Through the Out Door Edition
Frankenstein Meets Godzilla Edition
Heaven Must Be Missing an Angel Edition
Spirits of Christmas Present Edition
Dorito Bandito Edition
Shadow of His Former Self Edition
When the Saints Go Mouthing Off Edition
The Face That Sunk 1000 Ships Edition
Surely You Jest Edition
And the Camel They Rode in on Edition
Chucky Squeeze Edition
On Dangerous Ground Edition
Here's Cooking at You Edition
Catch a Falling Star Edition
Iran So Far Away Edition
Weapons of MASS. Obstruction Edition
Censure and Sensibility Edition
Big Easy Rider Edition
Acid Reflex Edition
Pride in Prejudice Edition
A Bush in the Hand Edition
Wouldn't You Give a Hand to a Friend Edition
The Forecast Calls for Snow Edition
I Shot the Sharif Edition
Giving Him the Boot Edition

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