THE SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE, REPRISE!!!

Click and play.

Don't anybody pinch me, I'm too afraid I'll wake up!

I have tried very hard not to turn this into a sports blog, blogging only about baseball a few times as my beloved White Sox finally broke an 88 year championship drought in 2005, but once again, I need to gloat a little!

Da Bears are in Da Super Bowl for only the second time EVER, and the first time in 21 years!!!

Way to go, guys!



Now, on to Miami!


To celebrate, how about we cue up an old Chicago favorite in the jukebox for a chorus or two?

We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew
Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.
We're so bad we know we're good.
Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.
You know we're just struttin' for fun
Struttin' our stuff for everyone.
We're not here to start no trouble.
We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Somewhere up in Heaven, Sweetness must be smiling...

Gore Raises Global Warming Alarm Again, Cites New Scientific Evidence

Former Vice President Albert Gore, Jr. called a press conference earlier today to call people's attention to what he called an "urgent new development" on the global warming front. The former Vice President and inventor of the Internet once again showed uncanny timing in raising the global warming alert level in the wake of the worst ice storm in years across much of the U.S. and subsequent sub-zero temperatures sweeping across the nation's mid-section.

"It has recently come to my attention that there is now irrefutable scientific data that proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that the amount of sunlight reaching the surface of the earth's northern hemisphere has been steadily increasing in the last few weeks," Mr. Gore told a packed auditorium filled with media from all over the world. "Teams of crack climatologists have been checking and double-checking the data, and there is just no question that this is indeed the case. Furthermore, the effect is increasing incrementally... that is to say, that with each passing day, more and more sunlight is reaching the northern half of the earth's surface. There is also little doubt that the reason for this phenomenon is quite obviously the continued use of automobiles and other pollutants in the heavily populated and industrialized countries north of the equator, and in the United States in particular."

World-wide bedlam quickly ensued as a breathless media reported the story verbatim, using such headlines as "Worst Fears Confirmed: Earth Doomed!" and "Oh, God! It's Fry Day!" as they interviewed countless experts about the deleterious effects of ever-incrementally increasing sunlight on life on our "fragile" planet.

"Unless something is done immediately, we will all be dead within, at most, a few years," stated Dr. Stew N. Majuces, noted Global Warming Expert from the Progressive American National Institute of Climatology. "This is a disaster of unprecedented scope, and the fault clearly lies squarely with President Bush, who has steadfastly refused to deal with this issue throughout his shameful Presidency, despite repeated warnings from all of us here at P.A.N.I.C.! The imminent death of all life on this planet is on his head --- and his head alone!"

Some media outlets began to delve further into the study, which also reportedly reveals a decrease in sunlight across earth's southern hemisphere over the same period of time.

"Clearly, the greedy and over-industrialized north is stealing sunlight from those of us in the less-fortunate, underdeveloped south," reported one Brazilian television network. "In the process, they have doomed us all!"

In a joint appearance on nationwide television hours later, newly crowned Shrieker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) and newly minted Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Illegal Land Deals) called for immediate legislative action, beginning with, but not limited to, ratification of the controversial Kyoto Accords Treaty.

"There is no time to waste on extravagances such as blue-ribbon panels, committees or even floor debates, we need to take action NOW," stressed a visibly angry Pelosi. "Anyone suggesting we need to take the time to study the evidence is only trying to get our children and grandchildren all killed, like the White House is trying to do to our soldiers in its useless war in Iraq, which we have clearly already lost. It's time for everyone on earth to wake up to the real threat, which is global warming, not global terrorism, which never really existed except in the feeble minds of the President and his political lackeys!"

White House spokesman Tony Snow could hardly contain his laughter as he issued a call for calm minutes later from the White House Press Room. "This is nothing more than grandstanding on the part of Mr. Gore and his ilk," Snow chortled. "We have had our own scientists at NASA and NOAA as well as the NWS check this so-called data, and it turns out all Mr. Gore's 'experts' have discovered is that the earth is continuing to rotate normally around the sun in its proper orbit, causing a gradual increase in the amount of sunlight seen each day in the northern hemisphere and a corresponding decrease in the southern hemisphere, following the winter solstice, as happens every year... and has happened every year for the past 5 billion or so years! God willing, this cycle will continue unabated for the foreseeable future."

Curiously, most news services across the globe chose to quote only the final sentence of Mr. Snow's statement, causing more anger and panic and calls for President Bush's immediate resignation.

Developing...


If you enjoyed this work of satire, you may also enjoy some of the following...

Mr. Right's Greatest Hits:

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• Results of New In-Depth Study Revealed: Bush May Actually Be Hitler!
  
  
• Angry Protesters Demand "U.S. Out of U.S. Now!"
  
  
• The Proper Care and Feeding of Moonbats
  
  
• George W. Bush and the Holy Grail
  
  
• The Democrat Family Album... a Tribute!
  
  
• New Orleans Rhapsody
  

More Political Satire:

• And Now: A Public Service Announcement...
  
  
• Long Feared "Bush Purge" Reportedly Now Underway, "Reality Based Community" Crying Out for Action
  
  
• Sunspot Activity Causes Brief Interruption of Karl Rove's "Mind-Ray" - Democrats Claim Rare Moment of Sanity
  
  
• College Journalism Exam with Answer Key!
  
  
• ACLU Seeks Ban on Christmas "Propaganda" from the Public Airwaves
  
  
• Presenting: The DNC's "Sounds of the Season"
  
  
• Democrats Fire Back, File Lawsuit to Stop Bush, Republicans from Using Their Own Words Against Them!
  
  
• The Latest Mainstream Media "Poll" - Exposed!
  
  
• Halloween Cavalcade of Horrors!
  
  
• Ronnie Earle Indicts Much of Texas on Conspiracy Charges
  
  
• U.S. Declares War on Smurfs, Hundreds Dead in "Shock and Awe" Style Carpet-Bombing Campaign
  
  
• Cindy Sheehan Files Suit Against God; President Bush, Israel Named as "Co-Conspirators"
  
  
• The U.S. Constitution - A Liberal Interpretation
  
  
• The 9/11 Commission, Part 2 - Electric Boogaloo
  
  
• Democrats Give up on Winning, Push for More "Spectacular" Losses
  
  
• We Now Join the "Save Air America Radio" Telethon, Already in Progress...
  
  
• Top Secret Democrat Party Strategy Meeting - Exposed!
  
  
• The Far-Left's Favorite Soap Opera: Get Bush!
  
  
• You Just Might Be a Moonbat...
  
  
• Selections from the "Donktionary"
  
  
• The Moonbat Song
  

The Hill-Orgy of Errors:

• Hillary Clinton's Secret Love Affair Exposed!
  
  
• Bigfoot Takes His Own Life!
  
  
• The Right Place Stands By Its Story!
  

And a Filthy Lie:

• Glenn Reynolds Copyrights the Word "Indeed," Threatens to Bill Much of Blogosphere Right out of Existence!
  

Or feel free to check out our Main Page. Thank you for visiting The Right Place!

******************************

Thanks for the links!

Pam at Blogmeister USA
Maggie at The Bullwinkle Blog
Howie at The Jawa Report

President to request surge of 21,500 restroom attendants in wake of Athens embassy bombing.

Speaking of dropping bombs...

President George W. Bush is expected to announce a massive increase in toilet scrubbers, towel holders and arse wipers after a rocket-propelled grenade was shot into the toilets of the U.S. embassy in Athens, sources say.

Mr. Bush told the Nation in his Wednesday address: "Our restroom attendants will have a well-defined mission: to help Grecians clear and secure stalls, to help them protect the local population and to help ensure that the Grecian forces left behind are capable of providing the paper towels that Athens needs."

Congressional Democrats, along with some Republicans, are united against the plan, however, and are threatening to cut off funds to what they call an escalation.

"In ordering more restroom attendants to Greece, the President is ignoring the strong advice of most of his own top generals. General John Abizaid -- until recently, the commanding general in Iraq and Afghanistan -- said, and I quote, 'More American forces prevent the Greeks from doing more, from taking more responsibility for their own future,' end of quote," Senate Minority Whip Richard Durbin said in the Democratic response.

Polls show that 55 per cent of Americans support withdrawing some or all U.S. restroom attendants from Greece, with support for no change in attendant levels or an increase in the number of attendants at just 21 and 17 per cent, respectively.

Local yokel Cletus McCoy supports sending more attendants: "Well, considerin' them Greeks er responsible fer nan-unlehvun, I thank we shud go in an' nuke the whole Balkan peninsula."

Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan paused from between sips of Jamba Juice to rant, "NO WAR! No more children must die for George Bush's illegal war for hummus!"

It is possible that Congress may vote to cut off funds to American peace-keeping efforts in restrooms throughout the Mediterranean, to which White House Press Secretary Tony Snow retorted, "Democrats are pussies," and proceeded to bitch-slap Helen Thomas with his microphone whilst screaming, "That'll teach you to grow old, you hag!"

Major props to my AP Economics teacher, Mr. Cordina, for the idea for this blog post. I gotta give credit where it's due!

Happy Fun Blog Media Bias Example

The Wordsmith from Nantucket posted hilarity worthy of the aforementioned Happy Fun Blog

MEDIA BIAS?

The Pope is visiting DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac...sailing on the presidential yacht.

They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water. Secret service guys start to launch a boat, but Bush waves them off, saying "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry."

Bush then steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Holy Father's little hat, bends over and picks it up, then walks back to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence. The next morning, the Washington Post carries a story, with front page photos, of the event. The banner headline is:

Click the headline to read the punchline.

HAPPY FUN BLOG!

WARNING:

Happy Fun Blog cannot be safely viewed with your head up your own posterior (or anyone else's for that matter).

Happy Fun Blog contains a conservative political core which, if exposed, can cause liberals' brains to melt.

Happy Fun Blog should not be read while consuming carbonated beverages.

Discontinue reading Happy Fun Blog if any of the following occurs...

• Spontaneous projectile vomiting.
  
• Tingling in the extremities... ESPECIALLY THERE!
  
• Spastic colon or chronically itchy rectum.
  
• Loss of appetite (for absurd political parody).
  
• The inexplicable and ultimately irresistable urge to utter profanity at groups of elderly nuns armed with rulers.
  
• The incoherent ramblings of Ted Kennedy begin to make sense to you.
  

If Happy Fun Blog begins to smoke, unplug your computer immediately.

When not in use, return Happy Fun Blog to its specially designed hyperbolic chamber at the Los Alamos Nuclear Research Laboratory.

Happy Fun Blog contains the insane ramblings of several little known bloggers who fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Blog.

Happy Fun Blog offers no guarantee of quality or quantity of posts.

Staring longingly at Happy Fun Blog will not cause fresh posts to magically appear.

Due to a recent act of the state legislature, Happy Fun Blog may no longer be legally viewed in Vermont.

Solutions!

So Demorats taking over Congress, Senate, blah blah blah.

I get a call the other night from Ted Kennedy

Rrrrrrrring , rrrrrrrrring ***

Stew: Hee-lo
Ted Kennedy: Hic, Shtewed, her Get Shtewed lease

Stew: Hello? You mean Stew Magoo of Get Stewed?
Ted Kennedy: Yesh, mumble *hic*

Stew: I'm sorry I didn't understand. Who is this?
Ted Kennedy: Thish is Ted Kendy. Kennenedy. KENNEDY.

Stew: Oh, Mr. Kennedy. Right, well, what can I do you for?
Ted Kennedy: You've got that Newshmonger team of shientishts rite?

Stew: Yes Mr. Kennedy, the Newsmonger crack scientific team of Science Mongers.
Ted Kennedy: Well, we need 'em. Now that Pelosi has opened her giant trap and stated that we're going to fix every*hic*thing, we've got to come up with some sholutionsh.

Stew: Er, well, the only problem is that I don't actually agree with basically ANYTHING that Demorats stand for and I'm not really sure that I want to help you.
Ted Kennedy: "..."

Stew: Hello?
Ted Kennedy: Pleash? Don't you think they could come up with jusht one idea?

Stew: Hold on, I'll ask them
(In the background:
Guys, any ideas to stop the terrorists for Ted Kennedy?
What's that?
Yeah.
Yeah, uh huh.
Right. Right, okay.
Check, okay good point, thanks. Thanks Sciencemongers.)

Stew: Ted?
Ted Kennedy: Yesh.

Stew: Okay, I'm back. Basically the Sciencemongers say that you're pretty much screwed. Since your party has been slamming Bush and all the possible solutions as unreasonable and just downright wrong, you're going to have to come up with something unique.
Ted Kennedy: Well I know THAT, sho what'sh the shol, solution? What'sh that unique way that the Democrats can combat the war on terror without loshing any livesh?

Stew: Well, Teddy, basically since the normal measures used to fight wars have been ridiculed by Demorats and, to be quite honest the terrorists aren't fighting a "normal" war as we know it, you're going to have attacks on America, etc etc. And what do the martyrs for jihad get once they're done blowing up the evil "death to America" people? Virgins. I'm pretty sure at last count it was something like 72 of them.
Ted Kennedy: Rite I remember shome guy prattling on about that during one of the shecurity meetingsh.

Stew: Great, so why don't you just go ahead and give the jihadists the virgins? I mean, we've got tons of women that are willing to do just about anything for a few bucks. You can probably get a couple of million of them together in no time.
Ted Kennedy: Hicle* Thatsh GREAT! I gotta call Murtha.

Stew: Goodbye Mr. Kennedy
Ted Kennedy: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snort* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Another chapter in the war on terror by the Demorats...

The Constitution Is A "Living Document"

The Get Stewed Newsmonger News Crew has uncovered a disturbing development. Plans by certain individuals to rewrite the Constitution.

We the People of the United States and any Mexican Nationals who will vote Democrat in elections, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice as long as it doesn't interfere with the liberal ideology of the redistribution of wealth, liberal hypocrisy and the socialistic ideal, insure domestic Tranquility for Democrats, neuter the common defense, promote the Welfare state, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and anyone who votes Democrat, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Article. I.
Section 1.

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Democratically led Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Democratically controlled Senate and Democratically controlled House of Representatives.

Section. 2.
Clause 1: The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the blue states be they alive or dead, legal or illegal, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the Democrats of the State Legislature.

Clause 2: No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and who shall not, when elected, be a Conservative or Libertarian. It shall be permissible for an elected Conservative or Libertarian to switch party to Democrat in order to remain in power.

Clause 3: Representatives and direct Taxes on the rich shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union.

Clause 4: When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies with a Democrat.

Clause 5: The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment of anyone connected with the Bush family.

Notes from Bill:
Hillary, I think you and Osama Obama might want to look over this first draft. It would probably be pushing it at this point to include references to China and/or replacing the National Monument with the Eiffel Tower that we talked about after we smoked that great big phattie.

Bill

PS I didn't inhale. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Disaster?

PJ Maximum wrote a compelling and disturbing post about the most important thing in American society today. The success in the war on terror.

She goes on to postulate that without success in the war against Islamic fascists, all is lost.

Well, I have a dissenting opinion. The most important thing is NOT the success in the war on terror, but instead it is keeping McDonalds from removing the McRib sandwich from the menu.

No you may be scoffing and telling yourself that I'm just being crazy CRAZY CRAAAAZY

but let's consider the facts:

• The McRib is a tasty, delicious and reasonably priced sandwich
• It has Pickles
• It has Onions
• It's made of PORK
• What do muslims hate?

That's right, pork. PORK PORK PORK!

Imagine if we invested a paltry million dollars in McRib sandwiches and then dropped them into Iraq or Iran or Darfur with little bitty parachutes. The people would be happy because they'd be getting free meals from the sky and we'd be fighting terror by driving the Islamic fascists out of the areas that we carpet bomb with the tasty McRib.

I'm telling you, it'll work. But only if we all band together to keep the McRib on the McDonalds menu.

Merry New Year!

Billy Ray: Merry New Year!
Beeks: That's "happy." In this country we say "Happy New Year."
Billy Ray: Oh, ho, ho, thank you for correcting my English which stinks!

Christmas MSNBC Entertainment Nugget

So Joe reporter is in Palestine doing his reporting thing. People have been killing each other and he's all serious. The Blonde at the newsdesk waits for him to finish his report and asks*, "So, apart from a cessation of violence, what could help boost tourism?"

The reporter was speechless. I nearly fell out of my chair.

But I started thinking about it, perhaps "a cessation of violence" from Hammas/Fatah/Insert Terrorist Group Here is too lofty a goal? Terrorism and Tourism are remarkably similarly spelled. Why, both words begin with "T" and end in "rism". Both have consonants and vowels in there. Perhaps the Demorats have a point, after all Tourism isn't bad. Perhaps Terrorism isn't so bad either. What are some other things that could stimulate tourism to the middle east?

• A Popcorn Stand on each streetcorner dispensing free buckets
• Free Fudge (Terrorist Fudge)
• Terrorist Bobblehead Dolls (collect 'em all!)
• Free Skinless (pork free) Hotdogs for each IED detonated
• A panel of judges scoring each "hit" 2-10

The possibilities are endless... Personally I'd like to see a Disney themed park with giant terrorists and martyrs dressed up like Goofy or Mickey or better yet, Mayor McCheese!. They could have a daily parade. If the Pirates of the Carribean can have one why not Hammas?

* I am not making this up

The Christmas Wreath: Holiday Decoration, or Abusive Substance?

Meet the new face of terror.

With just one shopping day left before the Fat Man visits all the world's chillens, there is a new problem facing the Nation's youth: Christmas wreaths.

Known on the street as "yule crack," "St. Nick's hits" and "E" (for evergreen), children as young as six months appear to be "getting off" on the festive fumes.

"I just can't get enough of the stuff," said Billy Johnson, age 13. "It just smells so good. It's, like, addictive, or something!"

"Oh, yeah. I use the stuff all the time around the holidays. Before breakfast, after school... But not during school. They don't allow Christmas wreaths," admits Holly Webster, age 17.

"MMM! Cookies!" concluded Suzy Collins, age 2.

But children and teens aren't the only ones affected. Older Americans are also finding themselves on the tinsel train to wreath whoredom.

"I admit that I like to take the occasional whiff of wreath, but I can quit any time I want," declared Agatha Pederson, age 76. "Just give me another hit! I NEED SOME GOD DAMNED WREATH!"

Some addicts have begun to carry small amounts of wreath with them, concealed in rolled-up papers called "wreathers." Blue Öyster Cult has yet to write a song about the subject.

Since this is a recent phenomenon, it is unknown what the long-term effects of extended wreath abuse entail, but users have shown an increase in carolling, holiday cheer and chronic diarrhoea.

John P. Walters, Director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, has launched an investigation into the possible impact excessive nasal consumption of Christmas wreath, as well as into prolonged exposure to menorah and kinara candle light and the recent increase of tongue-stickings to Festivus poles.

We've Lost the War in Iraq!

Go visit A Soldiers Perspective and see what this is all about.

A rare serious post

From Stew? Tell me it ain't happening.

I read today of a disturbing news event. The Palestinian Prime Minister was stopped trying to enter Gaza with $35 million dollars in cash. Israel shut down the terminal to deny entry for the Palestinian PM.

Reports said Mr Haniyeh, from the Hamas movement, was carrying $35m (€26.5m, £17.8m) in cash, believed to be part of the $350m he raised during a regional tour that took in Iran, Syria and Qatar. He was later allowed entry, but without the cash.

Now what would he be doing with all that cash?

1. Taking a "cash bath"
2. Collecting baseball cards rivaling that of Saddam
3. Perhaps McDonalds opened a branch and he's trying to feed the hungry?
4. LAP DANCES FOR EVERYONE!
5. Buying weapons for terrorists

For what use could it be? Probably be hamburgers.

Understandably members of Hamas, trying to protect the integrity of the hamburgers, decided to storm the terminal and act like terrorists.

Said, Mushir al-Masri, a Hamas legislator, the closure “could lead the region to an explosion and the Zionist enemy and its allies will bear the responsibility for the consequences”.

Another Reason To Not Raise Minimum Wage

Not only that, but this article is also another reason why Conservatives should not be worried about the 2008 elections.

The key thought about minimum wage, as well as other "ways the democrats help the lower class," Believe I say, not what I do.

You can't claim that education is your No. 1 priority while pandering to teachers unions. Nor can you fight against international trade when the evidence is clear that it creates wealth and profoundly improves the lives of people in poor countries.

(And, in the short term, trade makes possible all those cheap goods at Wal-Mart that stretch the paychecks of the people the party is supposed to represent.)

Raising the minimum wage? Yes, it will make a lot of people better off -- and it will speed up the process of outsourcing and automation, which will make a lot of other people worse off. Raising the minimum wage is not an economic plan for making the nation more productive; at best, it's a transfer of wealth, and not even the most efficient way of doing that.

But no! We HAVE to raise the minimum wage to $7.50! We have to increase our minimum wages by 45%, while other countries are lowering their wages. That doesn't look like an incentive to outsource at all, does it?

Raising the Minimum wage; A short term political gain, leading to long term Economic failure.

China Tells Citizens To Beware of Pollution

Beijing's Air is becoming hazardous to your health. Read it:

Beijing residents have been warned to stay indoors as the city's pollution index hit its highest level amid the worst conditions since coal-fired power plants kicked into gear for winter.
Every monitoring station in Beijing's urban districts recorded levels of particulates seven times higher than the safety standard, the Beijing environmental protection bureau said.
Sulfur dioxide and carbon monoxide levels, emitted by coal furnaces and cars, were also several times over standards, it said.
"The city environmental protection bureau is alerting citizens to reduce outside activities under such conditions. Frail people or those sensitive to pollution should take measures to protect themselves," it said.
The pollution levels were the worst in the capital since the winter heating season began in early November, when the city fired up its nearly 6,000 coal-fired furnaces, it said.

I thought Al Gore said that Global warming was America's fault for not signing the Kyoto Protocol...

Domination Through Force?

"[Annan] will accuse the administration of trying to secure the United States from terrorism in part by dominating other nations through force, committing what he termed human rights abuses and taking military action without broad international support." - USA Today

Is it wrong that we used force against a group who only understands forceful tactics? The picture may be for hastage-takers, but it's the same for terrorists and violent dictators as well.

I have one thing to say to Annan. You're right Kofi...nobody agreed with us when we invaded Iraq (except the 48 countries who joined). We were wrong, and your peace loving ideal world was right. Now don't let the door hit your ass when you leave.


H/T: Michelle Malkin, and Oleg Volk for the image.

Twas The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Non-specific Holiday celebrated in a politically correct manner and all through the Senate and House,
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse small furry creature with a long tail commonly referred to as the house mouse, one of 38 subspecies of the genus Mus or Mus musculus (Mouse).

Libbo's hopes hung high on rumors that peace in Iraq would magically appear based on nothing but AP articles and that pacifist Iranian leader's street creds,
And the lefties were pacing with visions of impeachment, tax hikes and all of America cowering to terrorists dancing in their heads.

And Teddy the drunk, passed out asleep in his trunk, dreamt of getting off scott free for murder again before the ensuing opening Congressional keynote. But I digress...,

Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I ran to the window to see what was the matter, for I thought it was Pelosi or Murtha but the man was fatter.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver so wacked out and mean,
I knew in a moment it must be Howard Dean.

So down through the chimney Dean came with a thud.
He was dressed like a politician and looked like a dud.

His clothes were all covered in ashes and soot,
A bundle of the conservative supporters toys on his back he had flung, and he redistributed the wealth starting with the Non-specific Holiday celebrated in a politically correct manner, loot.

His eyes how they twinkled his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses his nose like a cherry (he had obviously been drinking heavily with a Kennedy. Take your pick.).

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the drizzle on his chin was as white as the snow.

Hillary was there too, he she had a broad face and round little belly,
That shook when he she laughed like a bowl full of jelly.

But soon Deany's team gave a whistle
and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight
Happy Democratic House and Senate led Non-specific Holiday celebrated in a politically correct manner to all and to all a redistributed wealth, impeachment for Bush and socially and politically acceptable (as long as you're not a conservative) Good Night!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeargh!

I'll Bet They Are!

This Reuters headline kind of says it all:

European Socialists eager to work with U.S. Democrats

OPORTO, Portugal (Reuters) - European Socialists promised on Thursday to work to rebuild Europe's strategic alliance with the United States now that the Democrats control Congress after last month's elections.

Socialist leaders attending a meeting of the European Socialist Party pledged that with the Democrats on the rise, strong ties could be renewed with the United States after years of cool relations with Republican George W. Bush.

Howard Dean, chairman of the national committee of the U.S. Democratic Party, is attending the two-day conference together with the leaders of leftist governments of several countries and party leaders from across Europe.

Can't you just feel the surge of excitement and anticipation? The writer at Reuters saved the best for last.

Socrates said Dean's Democrats "should know that they can count on European Socialists" for support.

Puzzling. The Democrats have the support of European Socialists? I can't imagine why that would be the case? On the other hand, haven't they been receiving that support all along?

Isn't there an old joke about socialists, that a socialist is just a Marxist without the homicidal streak.

Jimmah Cahtah

Jimmy Carter the doddering old fool that he is, wrote a book "that Ah didn't wahnt ta write" but "felt it wahs necessary because of the silence ahbout the Palestine/Israel situation.

Basically his premise is that leaders from Israel and Palestine should sit down and "work out their differences".

Afterwards pigs will fly.

These pigs will be loaded with explosives and crash into high rise apartment buildings filled with Joos.

An interview with Achmed Fuq-alsheektard revealed:

Jimmee Carter shows us that even though the hated American Jews will continue to inhabit our rightful lands, there is hope that we, the freedom fighters of Hizbu'llah, can, with Allah's help - find a way to kill more Jews. The hated evil (death to) America(n) people have plenty of riches. Which we will take. And though the infidel doesn't mind eating the flesh of the most unclean animal, we, the freedom fighters of Hizbu'llah can use this unclean animal to attack the Jews in their homes.

Scientists in France assisted members of the Palestine delegation of Pig bombers to inflate the bladders and stomach of the common barnyard pig with a superlight gaseous substance which allows the pigs to achieve a lighter than air state.

Jimmah Carter had no comments on the Pig bombers plans for Jewish destruction and instead chose to stick his head back into his anus. Saying "Ah just feels more comfortable with my head in yonder".

Man, I'm proud to be a Georgia native.

Team GOP's Identity Theft

The group Team GOP has had their name stolen, by Memphis Democrats. Democrats Ophelia Ford and Reginald Tate both recieved $1,000 donations from "Team GOP." John Harvey has three possible theories:

1) The state goofed
2) Ford and Tate's people goofed
or 3) ...something that isn't exactly legal.

Team GOP leader Jeff Ward is denying (with good reason) that Team GOP would donate money to Democrats, let alone Dems as corrupt as the Ford family.

This isn't the only case of Memphis voting irregularities that John has found. On his site, Voting in Memphis, he also discovered that out of the 200,000 oldest people who voted in Shelby County, 7,000 of them are dead. That does not include the number of people who have birthdays in the 1800's or who's birthday is 01/01/01. Harvey also finds that 5,600 voters are registered in multiple places in the state.

The Memphis Ford Machine may have just had their hand caught in the cookie jar.


Also looking at the contributions to Ophelia, look who's names are on the list:
Harold Ford Sr.
Harold Ford Jr. - And here I thought Ford Jr was trying to AVOID being associated with the Corrupt Fords. He gave $1,000, and Ophelia was also the ONLY candidate Ford Jr. donated directly to in Shelby County.

Cross Posted at GOP and College

Truthers Distort Another Tape

Truther's have tried to pull yet another fast "absolute" conclusion without actually analyzing the video to see if their claims are correct. Their claim:

"You can't see a plane, so it had to be a government cover up."

One thing is missing from that statement. You can't see The Pentagon either. I-395 completely blocks the view of the Pentagon from the hotel.

"So what?" you might say, "What's your point?"

I'll explain.

The height of the Pentagon is 77 feet 3.5 inches the entire way around it's perimeter, in all rings. The tail height of a Boeing 757 (while resting on the ground with landing gear down) is 44 feet 6 inches. The pentagon is 32 feet 8 1/2 inches taller than a standing 757, not to mention the fact that the 757 which hit The Pentagon had hit the ground. So the fact that you cannot see The Pentagon means that you will not be able to see a plane either.

If you'll look at this graphic, you can see the camera's view angle in relation to the flight path which 77 took.


By the time the plane had gotten into the field of view of the camera at the hotel, it was already low enough to have clipped/severed the poles on Washington Blvd. Also, note that Washington Boulevard dips BELOW Interstate 395, meaning that Flight 77 could have been even further below the field of view.

Cross posted at GOP and College

An Al Gore Fantasy

Mexican leftists fought tooth and nail - literally - to prevent Felipe Calderon from assuming the presidency after a close election this summer.

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - Felipe Calderon took power as Mexico's president on Friday in a chaotic ceremony rattled by fist fights in Congress and jeering protests from leftists who claim he stole a July election that sparked months of political unrest.

They claim, but they have no evidence. Just like Florida. And Ohio.

Surrounded by bodyguards, the conservative Calderon slipped into Congress through a back door, quickly declared the oath of office and put on the presidential sash as left-wingers who had vowed to stop him taking office screamed "Get out! Get out!"

He was then rushed out again. The lightning-fast ceremony lasted just four minutes, including the singing of the national anthem, and Calderon was unable to make his inaugural speech.

[...]

Dozens of rival deputies earlier threw punches and chairs at each other and leftists built barricades to block the main doors and try to prevent Calderon from entering the building.

Although Calderon's security team outwitted his opponents in Congress, the brawls underlined Mexico's deep political divide and cast doubt on how successful Calderon can be in ending the unrest that followed his razor-thin election victory.

Although his ultimate concession speech was conciliatory, a fact that probably spared us such infantile theatrics here in the States, the left wing in this country since 2000 has worked overtime, with the aid of a sympathetic press, to prevent President Bush from governing. The only thing that put a halt to the efforts, briefly, was 9/11. They haven't acted like the Mexican spoiled children described above, but their behavior at times hasn't been far from it. Witness Cindy Sheehan, for example.

I think they'll lose it completely, just like their brethren to the south, if the next president isn't named Obama or Clinton.

Captions Outrageous! Winners [Squawk Box Edition]

Attendance was a bit low this week, but there were still some solid entries in this week's Caption Contest.

As a reminder, here is this week's picture:

GOP and College says: "Hey, you wanna play with my little one?"

And now, let's take a look at our winners.

HONORABLE MENTION:
-- "Oh, goody! With the Democrats in power I can partial-birth abort my chick!" – Damien G.

-- "Hate To Complain But The Night Light's Burnt Out." – Radio Free Fred

-- I told you, son, I wasn't in the movie Happy Feet. – Carl

THE TOP TEN:
#10 "You Could Use A Global Worming." – Radio Free Fred

#9 Dad...tell me the story of Steve Irwin again. – Carl

#8 "Is that an offspring or are your feet happy to see me?" – McGehee

#7 "Why can't we have Hamburger Helper like Billy's family?"
"You'll eat regurgitated fish and like it, young man!" – Pam

#6 Bill Clinton unveils his special "Intern" Halloween costume. – Stew

#5 While you're down there, change the oil and rotate the tires. – walrus

#4 Sorry son, Nancy Pelosi took the last fish, said it was our "Contribution". – walrus

#3 "Have You Ever Considered Cental Air?" – Radio Free Fred

#2 "There's Enough Yeast Down Here To Start A Bakery." – Radio Free Fred

And the winning entry:

"Say goodnight, Dick." – Rodney Dill

Previous Winners:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition
#10 - Make Love, Not Jihad Edition
#11 - Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition
#12 - Wake Up and Smell the Kofi Edition
#13 - I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire Edition
#14 - The Scion, the Witch and the Saprobe Edition
#14 1/2 - The Big Pigture Edition
#14 3/4 - Laid Back Edition
#14 4/5 - Pop A Squat Edition
#14 5/6 - That Ain't Right Edition
#14 6/7 - I'm So Beat Edition

Jesse Jackson, Hero

Greg Finnegan, a reader and all around good guy posted something simply too classic to not be shared. Click for a chuckle.

hastyruminations.blogspot.com

Here's a sample:

After Michael Richards went on Jesse Jackson’s radio show, Jesse had a New Idea.

He will lean on the entertainment and music industries to ban the N-word. NPR reported this morning that Jesse also will ban the “w” word for prostitute, and the “b” word for a female dog.

To avoid constitutional problems, he won’t go for a law. He will simply lean on people to comply. With him.

Michael Richards rants against Black Friday; retailers call for apology.

"I'm fried!"

Michael Richards, famously known as Cosmo Kramer on the popular sitcom Seinfeld, apologised Saturday for spewing hateful epithets during a stand-up comedy act against various big name chains during Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year.

"For me to be at a comedy club and flip out and say this crap, I'm deeply, deeply sorry," Richards said. "I don't hate shopping. That's what's so insane about this."

Richards had apparently been in a dispute with WAL*MART and Target over his coffee table book about coffee tables coffee table, which prompted him to yell, "Shut up! Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a f------ fork up your a--!"

"Keep that AIDS ribbon away from me!"

Richards also ranted against McDonald's, which refused to sell his ketchup and mustard bottle, Calvin Klein for stealing his beach-smelling cologne idea and the New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority for rejecting his suggestion that the homeless pull rickshaws to cut down on air pollution.

The Side You Don't Hear

I keep hearing about how much of a tragedy it was that the man was shot and killed last week after leaving a NYC club the night before he was to get married. But what about the side of the story that the news keeps leaving out? The part of the story that was in the second paragraph of the WaPo article about it.

The spray of bullets hit the car 21 times, after the vehicle rammed into an undercover officer and then twice into an unmarked New York Police Department minivan, police said.

If the police had not shot the man, he was liable to face asaulting a police officer with a deadly weapon, and any other charges that may have stemmed from ramming the van. The BAC of his body may have shown something as well. Only time will tell though.

The fact is that this man drove his car into a police officer, and if that's not a reason to use force, I don't know what is..

Pravda!

After hearing report after report after report on the terrible sectarian violence in Iraq, NBC News has now made it their policy to call the violence, officially, a "civil war." Never mind that much of the worst violence is perpetrated by non-Iraqi "foreign fighters."

And on 60 Minutes last night, Lara Logan of CBS actually wondered to Gen. John Abizaid exactly how he would be "managing the defeat" in Iraq, of which she seemed completely convinced. To which Gen. Abizaid's response, after he'd recovered from his surprise, was firm.

You have to wonder how much these reporters were relying on information from sources like, say, Captain Jamil Hussein and his ilk. I suspect that a thorough analysis of the sourcing on many of the stories of violence would point directly at these individuals.

Captions Outrageous! [Squawk Box Edition]

March of the Penguins was on the Hallmark Channel tonight, and to honor the little guys, I've decided to use this picture as the *hopefully* last GOPAC Contest.


The contest will last until Wednesday instead of Tuesday. I got a late start since it was Thanksgiving Weekend, and I have been out of town for the holidays.

Captions Outrageous! Winners [I'm So Beat Edition]

Sorry it's late for the announcing of the winners, but I'm in Springfield, MO to visit my mother's parents for Thanksgiving. And I promise, that a new contest will be right up as soon as I can get around to it. But as a Reminder, here is the picture which was used:

GOP and College Says: "That crap Nancy fed me about "You should be House Majority Leader" gave me the runs. Ugh.... "

So let's get on with the winners!

HONORABLE MENTION:
-- "Wahhhhhhhhhhhh!" - Benning

-- Rutgers? RUTGER... Oh wait, they lost. - walrus

-- Pelosi: "Bush gets to pose with a turkey for Thanksgiving, and so do I." - Rodney Dill

-- Aging Betty Boop and Porky Pig do politics. - Doc

-- Even Jack Mutha has trouble adjusting to Pelosi's new low-cut dresses... - Steve O

-- Nancy to John, "If you had gone to my plastic surgeon and gotten rid of that turkey neck, you might have won." - Doc

THE TOP TEN:
#10 "Just go up to your Congressman and say, 'Oops, I crapped my pants!'" - Damien G

#9 "The flags are just props, it's not like I give a rat's ass for this country." - walrus

#8 Murtha: When she said we'd be "in bed together," I thought she was talking about politics... - The Random Yak

#7 Speaker Pelosi basks in victory as the candidate she supported comes in a solid second. - Steve O

#6 Murtha: "Well you won't have me to kick around anymore."
Pelosi: "Good thing we still have John Kerry." - Rodney Dill

#5 Murtha tries to figure out how to "cut and run" from this latest political disaster - er - appearance. - The Random Yak

#4 While Nancy muttered "Should not have had that third bean burrito" to herself, the others quickly learned the meaning of - 'silent but deadly'. - elliot

#3 "Jack, could I use some of the skin from your jowls to even out my face?" - Damien G

#2 "Maybe If I Used The "N" Word I Would Get Some Attention, NUTS! NUTS! NUTS!" - Radio Free Fred


And The Winner:
#1 Pelosi: "Sorry John, as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - Rodney Dill

Thank you players! See you for this week's contest!

Previous Winners:

#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition
#10 - Make Love, Not Jihad Edition
#11 - Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition
#12 - Wake Up and Smell the Kofi Edition
#13 - I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire Edition
#14 - The Scion, the Witch and the Saprobe Edition
#14 1/2 - The Big Pigture Edition
#14 3/4 - Laid Back Edition
#14 4/5 - Pop A Squat Edition
#14 5/6 - That Ain't Right Edition

Comic Relief Turns Into Bush Bashing Festival

Maybe it was the incessant "Bush Is An Idiot" Jokes, or the mass "You Suck!" being yelled at a comedian portraying G.W, but something tells me that Comic Relief had less of an emphasis on the Katrina Victims, and more of an emphasis on "How many times can we take cheap shots at Bush?"

On one note, at least they acknowledged that there were government flaws on all levels of government. And as a thought to tickle your brain, if Big Government was to blame for all the mistakes in N.O, then why would you want to vote for Democrats who will only make the Government larger?

Much Ado About Nothing

The Tennessean released a front page article in the Sunday paper about "discrimination in the Navy." The story states that the Navy has a specific number of minority "low mental group" enlistees that it can enlist. If it reaches that number and a minority and a caucasion both apply to enlist, the minority applicant is told to come back next month, and the caucasion applicant is welcomed in. Let's analyze the situation.

The mental aptitude groups are determined by the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test. The test has scores ranging from 0-100, with 100 being a perfect score. The "Low Mental Group"(Cat V) are those who score a 9 or lower on the ASVAB. How well you do on the ASVAB test determines what your job in the military will be. Obviously, those who score high on the ASVAB test would recieve more difficult skilled jobs, and lower scores will be given less skilled work.

However, what The Tennessean fails to mention in the entire article is the fact that there is a limited number of Cat V positions available to enlistees. In order to comply with Equal Oppertunity laws, the Navy HAS to fill a specific number of those positions with Minorities, and the remainder are left to Caucasions. The Tennessean fails to even give a hint at the fact that if the roles are reversed, the minority enlistee will be welcomed in, and the Caucasian enlistee will be the one to hear, "Try us again next month."

In my opinion The Tennessean is making a big story out of nothing.

Weapons of war

Now that the Demorats are in control

The Get Stewed Newsmonger News Team has outdone themselves.

Again!

With the recent elections, Nancy Pelosi and her minions have a tough job. Not only do they have to correct the ethics of the Republicans while somehow minimizing their own rather nasty skeletons in the proverbial closet but they have to figure out some way to fight this war on terror. While redeploying to Okinawa.

Recently it was revealed that the baby killing, evil, hated military industrial complex has a new weapon in the war on terror.

The "Man Wing". Despite the name, this is not something that was originally a practical joke on "The Man Show". It's actually a real product and not a fabrication of my sick mind.

The Gryphon Man Wing is a strap on wing with jet propulsion which allows soldiers to deploy at 30,000 feet and then eject, parachuting directly into the enemy's backyard.

While this is a stunning achievement in the advances in scientific military weaponry, it pales in comparison to the Democratic leaders new ideas.


Nancy Pelosi, John "cut and run" Murtha, Harry Reid and Ted *hic* Kennedy are proud to announce:

The Michael Moore Masticating Machine

You see, Moore will eat ANYTHING. A side of beef, fourteen rotisserie chickens, small children or an entire daycare center, it pretty much doesn't matter.

The Democrats plan will be to ship a clone of Michael Moore to Iraq/Iran/North Korea, wherever he is needed, and give him a "dinner invitation". Moore will then proceed to eat everything in that country. Including the leaders if they're not fast enough.

Peace in the middle east? Send Michael "If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em" Moore.

Captions Outrageous! [I'm So Beat Edition]

I just got word from Mr. Right that until the end of the month, I'll be handling Caption Contest Duties, and fortunately this picture fell in my lap. It comes to us from Reuters vis Yahoo!

So you know the drill, and entries are due Tuesday at 11:59 PM!

Also, I'm not only hosting this caption contest, I'm hosting a contest at GOP and College as well! Be sure that that is your next stop on the web.

Also, we not only love hosting contests, but we enjoy giving our blogger buddies a laugh with our entries in their contests. So please be sure to stop by there as well.

Bagel Blogger (Where I took 2nd Place last week!)
GOP and College
GOP & the City
Gone Rick Motel
Outside the Beltway
Willisms
Wizbang

*********************************

Dear beloved CAPHOGs, I must humbly apologize for shirking my duties lately, but I am afraid that I am going to have to delay my return to the helm of the caption contest for another couple of weeks.

I never intended to be gone so long, but after managing to keep the contest running uninterrupted for 66 straight weeks, a series of unrelated events have been running interference between me and my beloved photo caption contest!

Week 1: I wanted to shorten the time from start to finish of our contests from the ridiculous week and a half it had been running to less than a week, so I asked GOPAC to help out so that I wouldn't have to chose between skipping a week and having two contests to judge while trying to prep my research heavy Congressional ratings post.

Week 2: Blogoweeniversary II, an immense undertaking that also ended up involving my creating a shadow blog and having it ready to roll out just in case Blogger hadn't cleared up a series of technical problems in time for the big event. Once again, GOPAC did a magnificent job of standing in.

Week 3: Instead of spending time on the contest, I felt I could make a more important contribution by working with the GOP GOTV effort. I actually helped out in a rare case of a GOP win in one of the most hotly contested races in the country! Mission accomplished, but a somewhat hollow victory in the end. Again, kudos to GOPAC for saving our contest.

Week 4: Physically and mentally drained, I spent the last week avoiding most things like blogs, talk radio and news in order to avoid becoming some twisted conservative version of a Moonbat, obsessed with losing and angry at the world. After all, there are other things in life. Again, GOPAC to the rescue!

Feeling refreshed, I have begun to once again dip my toes back into the waters, but...

Weeks 5-6: I have now been slapped with a combo of extra hours at work and family obligations on the wrong days... the very days I would normally use to prep and then judge the contest! Aaarrrggghhh!!!

So here is the scoop: I am giving up on November and turning the helm over to GOPAC for the next couple of weeks. I will try, schedule permitting, to return to hosting the contest in December if at all possible. I will return, folks, just not as soon as I'd like!

In the meantime, please continue to support GOP & College and his usual, marvelous job of giving us all a contest to play during my extended absence. I really can't thank him enough for all he has done, and I really can't thank all of you enough for your patience, understanding and razor sharp wits that make our contests so very special!

Mr. Right

********************************
Oh, Mr. Right, you have. (Sorry, I couldn't resist the link-fest.)

Interesting...

So there is myself, GOPAC...and then there's GOPAC.

GOPAC.org is an organization which trains Republican Candidates for elections.

Weird.

Some Cool Stuff I've Misssed...

Hi, all!

I've been taking a little break, but I wanted to pop in and share a couple links to some fun stuff that deserves a look!

First, Pam offers the Al-Jazeera Album of the Year: Jihad Rock!

Next, Buckley tells us how Republicans have learned to embrace the horror!

I'll be back soon. I just needed a little break from blogging, which has now been extended by additional demands on my time. So sorry, but at least my co-bloggers are keeping you informed and entertained in the meantime, and I cannot thank them enough!

Keep the faith!

Captions Outrageous! Winners [That Ain't Right Edition]

Time is up, and the judging is over. Who will be crowned the king of the jokesters this week? We'll find out here shortly. Poor G.W. didn't know what hit him on election day, and his face showed it. Your job was to go inside the head of the president and find out what this picture was really about. And, if your entries were funny enough and we're lucky, maybe, JUST MAYBE, Mr. Right will be back in the saddle of the CAPHOG Contest for season two.

GOP & College says: "What the?...Laura?...Did?...Are?... How?"

Well, let's see who all took honors in this week's contest:

HONORABLE MENTION

-- Expression on Dubya's face when told the 'hanging chads' didn't 'hang' this time. – elliot

-- "No Donald, ya didn't have to ceremonally take off and turn in your suit right now, its your own clothes, not gov't issue." – Rodney Dill

-- So the party loses, I get my amnesty program so I win. Why does this not really bother me? – walrus

THE TOP TEN

#10 President Bush, viewing the Republican road-kill after the election, makes lemonade out of lemons by having a custom jacket made out of Lincoln Chafee's hide. – Pam

#9 Catered party: $3500
Polished off two kegs: $150
Able to piss like a race horse: Priceless – elliot

#8 "I Ain't Felt This Bad Since I Fell Off My Bike and Had a Bucket Full Of Ass Blisters." – radio free fred

#7 Conservatism? Was THAT the missing ingredient? – walrus

#6 Rutgers? RUTGERS??? – walrus

#5 "Can we have a do-over?" – Carl

#4 Whadda mean its not pronounced Nu-cu-lar?- Rodney Dill

#3 What do you mean, "They voted with their middle fingers?" – The Random Yak

#2 I bet ya if we get Hillary a cute intern she'll.... – Bagelblogger

And the Winner

#1 What 'choo talkin' 'bout, Nancy! – The Random Yak

Once again, thank you all for playing, and hopefully we can get back to the official points battles this coming Friday.

Previous Weeks Winners:
#1 - Dissenting Opinion Edition
#2 - White Raspbeary Edition
#3 - Totally Busted Edition
#4 - Havana Good Time, Glad You're Not Here Edition
#5 - Right Hand to God Edition
#6 - Some Assembly Required Edition
#7 - Mad Hatter Edition
#8 - Chain of Fools Edition
#9 - Beyond Her Grasp Edition
#10 - Make Love, Not Jihad Edition
#11 - Are You There God? It's Me, Hugo Edition
#12 - Wake Up and Smell the Kofi Edition
#13 - I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire Edition
#14 - The Scion, the Witch and the Saprobe Edition
#14 1/2 - The Big Pigture Edition
#14 3/4 - Laid Back Edition
#14 4/5 - Pop A Squat Edition

Glenn Beck's Exposed: The Extremist Agenda

If you're not watching CNN Headline News right now, you need to. Glenn Beck is giving an unapologetic look at the extremist Musilms in the Middle East. If you miss the 7 PM ET showing, it will be on again at 9PM ET and Midnight ET.

WATCH IT!

You will be shocked at what the Media has NOT shown you from the Middle East.

Why Can't They All Lose?

In an election one side wins and the other loses. That's the way it is, that's the way it has always been. "None of the above" has never won the most votes ... but maybe it should.

Convicted lobbyist Jack Abramoff is scheduled to report to federal prison tomorrow, over the objections of federal prosecutors who say they still need his help to pursue leads on officials he allegedly bribed.

Sources close to the investigation say Abramoff has provided information on his dealings with and campaign contributions and gifts to "dozens of members of Congress and staff," including what Abramoff has reportedly described as "six to eight seriously corrupt Democratic senators."

Six to eight? The pari-mutual window is now open. I've got my money on Senators Reid and Durbin, and of course Senator Menendez. It's kind of hard to quell the suspicion that you're just as corrupt as the gang you pushed out when your Speaker of the House-to-be wants an Abscam figure as majority leader and a former judge impeached and removed for bribery as chairman of the Intelligence Committee.

A Good Thing MSM Will Never Show

Just a reminder of who is on the side of good, and who is on the side of evil in Iraq.

MCCONNELL AIR FORCE BASE, Kan. - All of the attention embarrasses him, but as this Chief Master Sergeant learned recently, a lifetime of caring and good deeds is bound to catch up with you eventually.

Chief Master Sgt. John Gebhardt, superintendent of the 22nd Wing Medical Group here, recently gained worldwide attention for a photo of him holding an injured Iraqi child. The photo was taken about a month ago, while he was deployed to Balad Air Base in Iraq.

The young infant had received extensive gunshot injuries to her head when insurgents attacked her family killing both of her parents and many of her siblings. The chief had a knack for comforting her and they often would catch a cat nap together in a chair.

According to NewsBusters, CNN is the only news agency to have covered this story.

The Left IS Taking Over

It was scary enough for Halloween to fake a Liberal take-over, but if the left has their way, then the scare might be real.

WASHINGTON — After toppling the long-dominant Republicans in a hard-fought election, the Democratic Party's incoming congressional leaders have immediately found themselves in another difficult struggle — with their own supporters.

Some of the very activists who helped propel the Democrats to a majority in the House and Senate last week are claiming credit for the victories and demanding what they consider their due: a set of ambitious — and politically provocative — actions on gun control, abortion, national security and other issues that party leaders fear could alienate moderate voters and leave Democrats vulnerable to GOP attacks as big spenders or soft on terrorism.

The one thing the Dems weren't counting on was the one thing that the GOP had to work with when they gained control before, the fact that the outer reaches claim the victory, and demand reparations.

The thought of Democrats bending over backwards to appeal to the far left fringe is a good thing in my view since many of the Left's ideals are not shared by moderates who will come back to the GOP after the coming 2 years. However, the Democrats may actually legeslate to the fringe of the Left in that time. With announcing San Fransisco's Nanci Pelosi as the candidate for Speaker of the House, Pelosi nominating Jack Murtha as the House Majority Leader, Charlie Rangel as the head of the Ways and Means committe, and Harry Reid as the head of the Ethics committee, the outlook is pretty gloomy for Conservatives in the next 2 years.

We shall have to sit back and see what happens.

Liberal Fact Mixing

"That ('under God') part is sort of offensive to me," student trustee Jason Ball, who proposed the ban, told Reuters. "I am an atheist and a socialist, and if you know your history, you know that 'under God' was inserted during the McCarthy era and was directly designed to destroy my ideology."

I don't see why Ball should be so up tight about the pledge. After all, it was written by socialist Francis Bellamy in 1892.

And to deny that this country was founded by Christian, God Fearing people is just plain wrong. In fact, let's break it down shall we?

Signers of the Declaration of Independence:
All 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence were raised as Christians.

Signers of The Articles of Confederation:
All 48 signers of The Articles of Confederation were raised as Christians.

The Delegates of The Constitutional Convention of 1787 (including the 39 people who signed the United States Constitution)
All 39 signers of the United States Constitution, and the 16 non-signers of the Constitution were raised as Christians.

All 204 people who could be considered "founding fathers," whether they signed the Declaration of Independence, signed the Articles of Confederation, attended the Constitutional Convention of 1787, signed the Constitution of the United States of America, served as Senators in the First Federal Congress (1789-1791), or served as U.S. Representatives in the First Federal Congress were raised in Christian families. Many of them were either ministers, or the children of ministers.

Liberals proclaim that a majority of the Founding fathers were Deists who do not believe in the preachings in The Bible, however, out of the 204 Founding Fathers, only 3 are listed as Deists, and all of them were raised Episcopalian. With this information, how can secular liberals honestly say, "Our country was not founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs?"