Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Vonderful Vonderful, Dahlinks

Isn't it fahbulous, dahlinks? Ze Christianists are running out of Voshington like so many married men in a rest stop police raid!

Now is ze time to real cunsuhvatism, and as ve all know, dahlinks, only Andrianna may define real cunsuhvatism, as Andrianna did in Andrianna's New York Times bestseller... The Conservative Soul: How We Lost It, How To Get It Back (Remember vhen zat awful awful Hugh Hewiit hijacked Andrianna's interview. What kind of host hijacks an interview on his own show, Really dahlinks!)

So, now, as Andrianna's good friend Noncy takes ze speaker's gavel, and Andrianna's good friend and real estate advisuh Harry Reid takes over ze Senate, Andrianna vill now lecture you on Vot it means to be a cunsuhvative:

  • Real cunsuhvatism means accepting that America is alvays wrong, and ve need to pay more taxes
  • Real cunsuhvatism means Mapplethorpe! Mapplethorpe! Mapplethorpe!
  • Real cunsuhvatism, dahlinks, means pumping your forehead full of Botox until you qvalify as a Superfund site.

Now, dahlinks, Andrianna vill search through Andrianna's inbox to find sycophantic emails zat reinforce Andrianna's position. Zen. Andrianna will share zem viz you. Until ze next time, dahlinks, Kiss Kiss,

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